Sometimes just because you are over your ex does not mean your ex is over you. He might still want you back in his life and he may just be trying everything within his powers to get you back.
Have you noticed your ex is giving you mixed signals, or he still calls you more frequently than normal? It might be that he talks about you more often than usual, or is he trying to make up with you? Then he just might still be into you and does not know how to show you.
Well, here are a few ways for you to know for sure if your ex is not over you;
He is stalking you online
If your ex all of a sudden starts to follow you on all social media platforms or he does not unfollow you after your breakup, then it might be that he wants you back.
If he constantly likes and comments on your posts, then he is watching to see if you have moved on or have somebody new in your life. If he stalks your social media that is a clear sign that he is not over you.
He still calls you regularly
If your man is over you he has no reason to call you on the regular, but if he is not over you he will call you for any reason, and at all sometimes.
He might call you to ask for something of his that he supposedly left with you, sometimes he calls you and chats with you just like when you guys were together. He is always asking how your day went or if you are okay, then it is a sign that he still wants to be with you.
He can’t stop talking about you
If your ex is still in contact with your friends and family and he is always asking about you from them, then he might just still be into you, this is just a clever and stylish way for him to sneak back into your life, by being in contact with your friends and family.
If your ex can’t stop asking your siblings and friends about how you are fairing then he still loves you.
He is trying to make you jealous
When your ex is still into you he tries anything possible to get your attention, including trying to flaunt his new relationship in your face just to gauge your reaction so he can know if you still love him or not.
Sometimes he tells your mutual friends about his new girl with the hope that the information will get back to you and you will get jealous. If your ex is behaving like this then maybe he just can’t let go and he wants you back.
He drunk dials you
If your ex mistakenly drunk dials you then he still loves you and wants to be with you. After all, when you are drunk the truth usually comes out, so your ex might be hiding behind alcohol just to let out his emotions.
If he is constantly drunk dialling you and telling you how much he loves you, then in the morning he might even pretend to forget about calling you, this means he still loves you.
He constantly talks about the past
When your ex just can’t stop talking about the past or he is always nostalgic when it comes to the past memories between the both of you then he might still have strong feelings for you and might just have issues with letting you go. He might be talking about past events to also test the waters and to see how you will react to him.
Trying to make up
If your ex is doing everything within his powers to make up with you then it is clear that he is still into you.
He is always talking about the mistakes he made and promising to do better, he tries to make you see that he is a changed person and that he is a much better person than he was before. This clearly shows that he still wants you in his life.
Letting you know how much he misses you
If your ex constantly sends you text messages or calls you to state how much he misses you then he might just want you back in his life. When he tells you always that he misses spending time with you or he misses talking with you, then it is clear that he still loves you very much.
He tells his friends to check up on you
If your ex’s friends still talk to you constantly or still refer to you as his girlfriend then it is obvious he still wants you. And when his friends are trying to plead his case then he still wants you in his life and he is just using his friends to get to you, and that is why some of them still keep in touch.
Quick to help you
If your ex is always available to help you, or he is constantly volunteering to help you whenever you need assistance, then it is obvious he still loves you and he is just rendering his help to get close to you, or maybe he is just a genuinely nice person.
But if your ex is always offering his help to you even without you asking then this is a subtle sign that he is not over you yet.
How long does it take a man to realize he is not over you
With men, it varies because not all men are the same. For some, it might be immediately, especially if you guys just had a little disagreement. While with others it might take a while, maybe if they realize that you are over them or you are seeing someone else then they might come to the realization that they are not fully over you. This might trigger something in them and they might try to win back your affection.
Signs that he is not into you
1. He no longer picks your call
If your man no longer calls you, he doesn’t bother to pick your calls anymore or responds to your calls when he sees your missed calls, then that’s a sure sign that he is over you and no longer wants to be with you or even talk to you.
Also, sometimes even when he picks up your call he always wants to keep the conversation quick and straight to the point, then you will know he is not into you.
2. You feel it deep within
Most times you don’t need a soothsayer or even for your man to tell you he no longer loves you before you begin to feel the withdrawal deep down.
You feel that something just doesn’t feel right anymore with the both of you if you are constantly asking yourself whether he loves you or you are analyzing every single thing he does then you don’t need anyone to tell you what your guts are already telling you
3. You are always the one reaching out
If you are always the one initiating all the conversations, and you are always the one making all efforts to see him, and he never calls or asks you to hang out, then it is obvious that he has lost interest in you and no longer cares about you.
4. He no longer spends time with you
When your boyfriend no longer cares about you, he is no longer bothered if he is spending less and less time with you.
No matter how busy he might be if he loves you he will create time to be with you. You find out that most of the time if you don’t reach out to him you won’t be able to hear from him, and he always has something more important to do even during the weekends he is busy.
These signs are crystal clear that he is not into you anymore, and has lost interest in you.
5. He no longer cares what you do
Sometimes, you talk to your boyfriend about the attention you are getting from other guys and he no longer cares.
Also, when he no longer gets jealous when you call or chat with other guys then he no longer loves you.
If he is no longer brothers about your movement or about anything that concerns you then he no longer cares about you.
Signs your ex is not the one for you
Your ex might still be very much interested in you but you have to consider a few things before you return to him, here are a few signs to look out for to know if he is the one for you or not.
- He still drives you crazy even though you guys are no longer together. If your ex is trying to get back with you but you still can’t stand being in the same room or place with him, then you should not even think of going back to him if he still brings out emotional instability in you.
- Sometimes if your man is not over you he can try to rush the reconciliation process, but when you don’t trust his intentions and he is just trying to force you into coming back to his life without even giving you time to consider if that is what you want, then you should be wary about his intention.
- Your man might try to tell you he has changed and that he will do better, but all signs still show that he is still the same person he was before you ended things with him, then you should not think about getting involved with him again. If he is not willing to put in the work and try to fight for you, then he is not the right choice for you.
- If the reason you broke up with your man is that he never puts you first or that he is selfish, then there is no need to go back to him. A man who can’t put you first in every situation cannot possibly be right for you. Instead, he wants you to give him all the attention, but can’t do same for you, or he might be very possessive, and such people can rarely ever change.
- Your man never tells you anything about himself or his family, and he keeps hiding things from you. He makes decisions with letting you in on them or does not give a two-cent about your opinion, then he is not right for you. When he tries to reconcile with you he still holds back from telling you about himself or his family that’s a red flag you should not take for granted.
- A man who never saw your worth or appreciated your worth in the first place will never see it and it will take an uppermost grace, or a breakup to make him see your worth. So as a lady you should think twice before you go back to be with a man who can’t see or appreciate your value.
What to do if your ex is not over you
Sometimes when your ex is relentlessly chasing after you to come back to him a lot of things might run through your mind.
You might end up wondering if he is the right person for you, and so many thoughts run through your mind simultaneously. You feel like going back to him at the same time you don’t want to go back to him.
But before you go make decisions you need to consider a few things that led to the breakup. Here are a few breakups reasons you should consider before making a decision.
Was your ex abusive?
Was he a cheat?
Was he manipulative?
Do you still love him?
Did you break up with him or did he break up with you?
Well, you should consider all these and more before you decide to get back with your ex, and you should also think deeply and hard about what makes you happy and if it is good for your mental health.
How to move on from your ex
After weighing all the pros and cons of your relationship with your ex and you feel that the cons outweigh the pros, then you need to let him go. It might be difficult letting him go, but here are a few tips that might help you let go of him.
Learn to love yourself: The first thing you should do is to learn to find love within yourself, and when you learn to love yourself and learn you are more than enough then you should be able to fully let go of that ex that is not good enough for you.
Let it all out: It is okay to grieve for that relationship after you gave it your all. You can cry, let out your emotions and don’t hold it inside of you. When you let it all out you might find it easier to let go of your ex.
Open your eyes to other possibilities: When you break up with your ex and fully let go of him, you need to be open to finding new love. Don’t shut your heart entirely to the idea of finding someone new to love. It’s okay to feel scared but you have to understand that to truly get over your ex you need to be open to the idea that someone out there will love you unconditionally.
Stop blaming yourself: After your relationship ends try not to play the blame game, do not look back, and think of things you could have done better or things you could have done differently. Accept that the relationship is over, and do not wish you could change things, and only this way would you fully get over your ex.
Get a grip on your emotions: It is okay to have the feeling of anger, guilt and resentment after your relationship ends, but you have to learn how to channel this emotion into something positive. Learn to master your emotions, because it is unhealthy for you to have all these negative emotions inside of you. The only way you can let go your ex is by getting a firm grip of your emotions.
Talk to someone about it: A crucial way of finally letting go of your ex is to talk to someone about it. Do not bottle it up, talk to your friends, your family, and you can even talk to a therapist if you feel you need one. Reminisce about the good time and bad times and just let it all out only this way would you be able to fully let go of him.
Delete him from all your social media platforms: When you break up with your ex, to be able to truly get over him you need to unfollow him from all social media so you don’t get the urge or yield into the temptation of checking what he is up to on social media. When you delete him from social media only then can you truly let go of him.
It is not always a bad idea for your ex to want you back, but If your ex is not over you and he still wants to be with you, you might have to take a few things into consideration. Things like everything that was discussed above and even the ones we did not point out.
Most times your ex just want you back not because they love you but because they see you are moving on and doing well without them and they want to be a part of your life again.
I’ve seen a lot of exes coming back together and ending up as husband and wife, and at the same time I have seen a lot of exes who came back together and did more harm to each other than what they did the first time around.
So you need to be sure that that the ex that wants you back wants you back for the right reasons and not just because he might be having a hard time letting you go.