Not all relationships are meant to last forever. Some relationships are meant to shape us into becoming better versions of ourselves. Relationships are made up of experiences; some good while others bad.
It is important we know the aim and purpose of every romantic relationship we get into. And the best way for you to know this is to have a heart to heart with your partner.
In this article, I have compiled a list of 21 questions you should ask your partner in a relationship if you plan on having a clear and set direction for your relationship
Most couples ignore these 21 questions in a relationship which should be a priority in the first instance.
Before you get too serious and overly committed to the relationship, you need to know for a fact that you and your partner are on the same wavelength.
- Asking these deep questions for couples will give you an idea if your relationship is headed in the right track.
- You also get to know if he is committed to you and if he is in it for the long term and that you are not just a booty call.
- Most importantly, it will help you find out if your partner sees you as part of his future.
- And finally, it helps you understand your partner better, by knowing their motive, desires and aspirations for you and the relationship.
Here is a list of bonding questions for couples
Are you looking for commitment?
When you sense you are developing serious feelings for your partner, your peace of mind and sanity should ask the all-important question; is your partner committed to you?
Does he see you as a part of his future? You need to find out if your partner sees you as just another booty call or if they plan to take you seriously.
Where do you see yourself in X years?
This is a very important question you need to ask your partner. You need to know if your partner sees you guys together in years to come.
You need to know what your partner has planned for the future and where exactly you fit into those plans. You also need to know where your partner sees himself in 2, 5, 10 or 20 years to come, and if these goals align with your own goals and plan for your future.
What do you find attractive about me?
This is amongst the type of questions you need to ask your partner in order for you to know where you stand.
Asking your partner what he finds attractive about you does not necessarily mean you are vain, it simply means you want to understand what your partner sees in you that made him love you the way he does.
Knowing what he finds attractive about you can also enable you to make the best decisions when it comes to your love life.
What are your relationship deal-breakers?
This is one of the questions you need to ask even before you begin the relationship, and if you must wait until after you agree to date him, then as soon as you sense that you guys are getting more serious you need to know these things.
You need to know what he dislikes, or things that could cause serious issues for the both of you. You also need to know if there are things you might do that your partner might find offensive or know about the kind of things that your partner might not be able to forgive.
What is your most treasured memory of me?
This is one of the bonding questions for couples you need to ask.
You guys might have created a lot of fun memories together, so there is no harm in asking him to share the most priceless ones with you. I mean you could also hold that memory dear to your heart too.
Also, knowing this will help you determine how much he values your presence in his life.
What are you not willing to change for your relationship?
As humans, we all have different attitudes, values, behaviour and belief systems, so it is very necessary for you to ask your partner if there is any habit, behaviour or belief that he is not willing to compromise on, and you need to see if it is something you can deal with in the long run.
When do you plan on settling down?
Among the deep questions to ask your partner, when he plans on settling down is one you should not ignore.
You need to sit your partner down and ask this particular question, especially if you feel you want to start a family in the foreseeable future.
Most importantly, let him know you are not trying to pressure him or anything, but you just want to know if you can wait for him until he is ready and if his time frame and yours are in alignment.
You can’t be wasting your time with him when he has no plans of settling down any time soon. Time is a valuable commodity, and once spent cannot be retrieved.
Do you plan on having kids?
This is one very important question you cannot bypass and you should definitely not bypass, especially if you love kids and plan on having some of your own.
You need to have the assurance that you and your partner are on the same page when it comes to having kids, and you need to also agree on the number of kids the both of you are going to have.
Why do you love me?
This should be the most important question you should ask, I know ideally nobody should have a specific reason why they love you, but your partner should be able to pinpoint that exact moment he fell in love with you, or at least give you some very good reason why they love you and can’t do without you. And you should also find these reasons satisfactory.
Are your exes still In your life?
You need to be able to ask your partner if he is still in contact with any of his exes and express to him how you feel about him being in contact with his ex.
Sometimes, remaining in constant communication with an ex can come with its own problems, and if he is still talking with one or more of his exes, you have to tell him if it is something you are comfortable with or not.
You guys should be able to sit down and talk about it rationally and you can tell him if it is a dealbreaker for you or not.
Do you believe in God?
It’s important you know his religious views. Many people might not think this question is necessary, but it is something you need to know.
For most people, their religious beliefs will often shape their actions, and knowing this will help you understand why is it they do what they do.
This question will help you understand their religious side, their take on life in general, and religion as a whole. You also need to know whether or not the both of you share the same religious belief.
What makes you happy in the relationship?
This particular question helps you understand the amount of happiness you bring into his life, and even though happiness cannot be measured, you need to know that you make him happy and that you are enough for him. People are also happy when their relationship needs list are met.
Is there anything you find unforgivable?
You need to ask your partner if there is absolutely anything you could ever do to him and he won’t be able to forgive you, and you need to know what this thing is.
If they are more than one, then you need to put them into serious consideration if they are things you would ever think of doing before you move into the next level with him.
What is your idea of a perfect day?
This question can help you in a ton of ways; it can help you plan the perfect date, birthday outing or just a fun day, this way you could also get to know your partner better and also understand what he likes doing with his spare time.
What was your first impression of me?
It might be in the past but there is no harm in knowing what his first thought of you was the first time you met with him. You might find it romantic or fun, or it might just give you an insight into what made him approach you in the first place.
How close are you to your family?
This is amongst the important and thought-provoking questions for couples you need to ask. You need to know if he is from a close-knit family, and how well he relates with his family, most especially if you are close to yours and you value family relationships.
How well he relates with his family will determine your relationship with them and how they will eventually treat you.
Also, because your future kids will need to also know the people from their fathers extended family just as much as yours.
When did you realize you loved me?
You need to know at what point they decided they wanted to be with you. When you are thinking of spending the rest of your life with your partner it is okay to ask questions like this.
It can even be a romantic memory for the both of you to hold on to when your partner reminds you of the very first moment that he realized he loved you and can’t do without you.
What do you see as my worst character trait?
This is one vital question you should ask your partner not necessarily for himself, but for you as well because this will enable you to improve on your character and do better to straighten your relationship.
What is your inspiration?
We all have that someone or something that inspires us to be better versions of ourselves, so you should find out the major driving force behind your partner’s work ethic or life philosophies, and how that particular thing or person inspires them to be better.
Why did you cry the last time you did?
At first glance, this might sound like a really weird question, but the idea of the question is to dig deep into his mind and soul.
This is an emotional question that will help you gauge their soft spot, how emotional they are and it will help you know what makes them tick.
What are your biggest fears about relationships?
This is among the thought-provoking questions for couples that will enable you to dig deep into your partner’s psyche and understand what he fears most about relationships. Sometimes these fears come from past experiences and asking this question will give an insight into his past love life.
Part of his fears might even be about losing you, or might be regarding heartbreaks or commitment. So knowing these things will help you with moving forward with the relationship.
The Bottom Line
Most couples ignore these 21 questions in a relationship which could turn out to be detrimental at the end of the day.
Sometimes, they are so in love that they are blinded by everything else around them, so they overlook these tough relationship questions at the beginning of their relationship.
These questions are important in a relationship because they will not only help you understand your partner better but also help you understand the trajectory of the relationship in the long run.
So before you go deep, call your partner over and sit him down, make a list of these 21 questions to ask in a relationship, and ask him one after the other.
His response to these questions will determine his plans for the relationship, and it will help you in the long room. There is nothing as bad as having months or even years of wasted effort spent building a relationship that in the end, doesn’t see the light of day.
There are so many deep questions to ask your partner, but starting with these 21 questions will help you gauge and evaluate the relationship before moving on to the next level.
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