Before we go in-depth into a bitter person’s characteristics and traits, we have to know what it means to be bitter. A person who is always angry, frustrated, and resentful can be called bitter. Maybe life experiences or people have turned a once joyful person into a bitter and resentful individual.
18 Characteristics Of A Bitter Person
1. They hold a grudge:
Sore folks never learn to let go of the grudges and hold on to past hurts as if their lives depend on them. They can’t forget the hurt and are constantly trying to remain in the dark just to avoid addressing what hurt them in the first instance.
So keeping people at a lengthy distance is what they do, which enables them to remain fixated on the grudges since it allows them not to forget. They believe that using that style can save them from being hurt again.
Seeing someone constantly complains about all the negative things in their life and never the positive could mean bitterness is choking them. It is never them to blame; blame others.
Everyone except for them is horrible; even when you try to get them to stop complaining, they turn on you, and you become their new target.
Many good things might be happening in their lives, but they are never thankful for that. Instead, they are more focused on that one bad thing that didn’t work out for them. They often don’t see the good because they concentrate more on the wrong things.
4. They wish evil for those who hurt them:
Once you bring pain to someone bitter, there is nothing you can do to make them forgive you. They believe that you are their long-lasting enemy once you offend them. And for this reason, they don’t care if evil things happen to you.
They are not always happy when something good happens to those around them, especially when they feel like nothing good is happening to them. So these bitter folks become resentful, especially when it is happening to those they are mad at. They feel it is unfair that the person they are mad at is experiencing good in their life.
6. They don’t know how to participate in others’ happiness:
Sharing the happiness of those they care about is not their strong suit. This is because seeing someone being joyful about their wins feels like life is messing with them, so even if they genuinely love you, bitterness will block them from being really and truly happy for you.
7. Attention seekers:
When they see someone being the center of attention, bitter folks do everything within them to ensure that they become the center of attention. If they can’t seem to get their way, they won’t mind ruining that day for everybody.
Generally, expecting the worst from people and life is one of their characteristics, so even when good things happen, they always want the other shoe to drop. So they are always quick to brush away their blessings because they are waiting for the blessing to be snatched from them at any time.
9. Always blaming others for their problems:
Their life problems are never their fault. They would rather blame everyone else before they blame themselves, and they turn themself into the victim just to avoid accepting responsibility for what went wrong. They believe that the bad in their life can not be their fault because they are the ones suffering.
10. They are filled with negativity:
Bitter fellows are filled with harsh words toward positive people. They try to use their negative energy to diminish the positive side of others. When others talk about all the positive things going on in their life, they try to bring them down by talking about all the bad things that can happen instead.
11. They make assumptions:
Blaming other people and making unfounded assumptions is one area where they shine. They do not bother to confirm if there is any truth to what they are saying, and they are quick to criticize others based on these assumptions.
12. They don’t see the good in others:
Seeing the good in other people is not their forte. They always want to downplay the kindness of other people. They try to tear down their tenderheartedness to enable them to find out their flaws. Their primary focus is always on other people’s flaws and their negative sides.
13. They think they are misunderstood:
This sentiment inside makes them feel like life has been unfair to them; as such, they feel like the people around them do not value them and can or understand them.
14. It is difficult to accept new people:
Since they cannot trust people, accepting new people is not something they know how to do, so they have a strongly built resistance to change, which makes accepting new things or people difficult.
15. Very judgemental:
They rely primarily on prejudice and stereotypes, so when one person hurts them, they add everyone together and lump them in the same group. They are quick to jump to conclusions and judge someone due to shallow reasons.
Just the same way they can’t seem to accept new things or people, sore folks also have difficulty accepting other people’s points of view. They always have to be correct. They just won’t listen to your view to understand where you are coming from.
17. They get offended easily:
Little things can cause them to pick offense and get very defensive and aggressive over silly things.
18. Everyone gets on their nerves:
It is okay to feel upset with one another from time to time, but bitter people are always angry with other people and get irritated by them; just because they have things that are bothering them already, they take it out on others.
What Causes Someone To Be Bitter About Life?
Different life experiences can cause someone to be bitter and frustrated about life. Regret, humiliation, and guilt from previous life’s mistakes can make you bitter about your life. Having negative thoughts and not letting go of grudges can make your life bitter.
How To Handle A Person Who is Bitter And Angry
Have you checked all the signs of a bitter person? Do you know someone who fits all these qualities? Such a person is not one you should have in your life, but if you can’t find a way to avoid them, you need to know how to handle them. When you have someone bitter around you, try not to tell them your secret, do not hold them to confidence and endeavor not to share too much information with them.
Ensure you do not allow them to turn you into a crying shoulder. You are exposed to their negativity and toxicity when you constantly give them room to cry on your shoulder. Calmly talk to them and try not to be rude. You don’t have to agree with everything they say, so merely try to make them politely see that they are not right.
Why Is It Easy To Become A Bitter Person?
Soreness and hatred that you let grow deep within you can turn you into a bitter person. When you feel that the world and everyone around you is against you, it becomes easy for you to become bitter.
I’m Becoming A Bitter Person; How Do I Go Back To Being Starry-eyed And Hopeful?
Nobody is born bitter; bitterness usually commences with an unfavorable experience in your life that caused you deep pain and hurt.
To escape from the hold of bitterness, you need to do a proper reexamination of your life and what is causing you to be bitter. You have to determine whether you still want that situation to have a hold in your life or something you no longer want, but you are just giving free space in your heart.
Taking responsibility for your actions can free you. You have to stop playing the victim. Playing the victim is just making yourself helpless, so you have to own up to your situation and try and take responsibility for the things you can take responsibility for.
Facing your fears and anger is another way to help get you back to being the starry eye person you once were.
Is Bitterness A Mental Illness?
Bitterness results from prolonged anger, resentment, pain, and hurts inside of you, so it can not be classified as a mental illness, even though most professionals think that bitterness should be classified as a mental illness.
Does Bitterness Cause Depression?
Various things cause depression; bitterness can be one of the leading causes. Holding onto bitterness can cause nervousness which can lead to depression.
What Are The Dangers Of Bitterness?
It kills your proficiency to love, which in turn leads you to be alone. No one wants to be with a bitter person. When you keep chasing people away, you might end up chasing off people who can significantly help you.
Bitterness smashes the profitability in your life. It will cook you to the extent that you no longer see the good in life. You just go through life without seeing the beauty in life.
What Is The Difference Between Anger And Bitterness?
Anger can be said to be a feeling of dissatisfaction which, with time, you can forget and forgive the fellow that wronged you. But bitterness is completely consuming hatred, resentment, and anger at yourself, the world, and everything around you.
Is It Okay To Be Bitter?
Somehow most people think that you can’t control your feelings, but I am not subject to that school of thought. It is never okay to be bitter. Bitterness eats deep into you and does not leave space for anything good to happen to you.
13 Steps To Overcoming Bitterness
1. Never feed grudges:
Don’t give space for grudges in your heart. Let go of the grudge and forgive those who caused you pain.
2. Let it go:
Letting go of bitterness means voicing your pain, don’t keep it inside of you. Let the person who hurt you know what they did wrong to you.
3. Dig deep:
Know what to expect, discover what made you mad at the person, and try to understand what you wanted them to do and why they could not do it.
4. Higher expectations can hurt:
Modify your expectations, especially when everyone else keeps saying it is unrealistic.
5. Forgive the sting:
Learning to forgive is the best way to be free from bitterness and pain.
6. Overcome with strength
Having the courage to let go is one of the best ways to overcome your bitterness.
7. Know your world:
Understanding that no one owes you anything and you just have to try and see that the world is not unfair and not against you is the only way to overcome bitterness.
8. Be open to mercy:
Choosing forgiveness when faced with challenges is one sure way of freeing yourself from bitterness, doing yourself a favor, and forgiving those who hurt you not for them but yourself.
9. Others can help:
Seeking help and being vulnerable is not weakness instead, it is a clear sign you want to be free from all the things that make you bitter. So seeking help from a professional is a good way of letting go of bitterness.
10. Future first:
Letting go of the past, when you keep talking about who hurt you or caused you pain, you won’t be able to let go of bitterness.
11. Play with loved ones:
Spending time with those who love you and want the best for you can help you let go of your bitterness.
12. Leave the nest:
Leaving your comfort zone and meeting new people can help you overcome bitterness.
13. Be grateful:
Learning to appreciate the good in your life can go a long way in helping you let go of your bitterness.
No matter what you do in life, you must encounter conflict, pain, hurt, and betrayal, so the best thing you can do is not to let this turn you into a bitter person, and if you find yourself turning into one, you can try and fight the bitterness it may not be easy, and it may take time but if you determine you can overcome bitterness.