Can a man fall in love with his side chick? This was the question that popped out of my cousin’s mouth while we were talking.
So we decided to look into it because we knew this question was a question most people will ask or be asked.
The truth is some men do fall in love with their side chick but might not be sure of their feelings. Some men do not, they only see their side chick as a woman who they can run to when their home is unsettled, to satisfy their urge and other cravings.
Can a man fall in love with his side chick?
Men that go ahead having side chicks are different. Some men do fall in love with their side chick which may be temporary while some see their side chick as a sex object that can please their sexual desire.
Most men will not want to leave their main chick and settle with their side chick. Even though they break up with their main chick, they won’t settle down with you because they will feel you are the major cause of their broken relationship.
If you are in this or see yourself in this kind of situation, it is high time to pinch yourself back to reality so you can start going through the right path, because y sticking around can ruin your mental health.
You might never have him all to yourself, even if you feel he spends the happiest and best times with you, there’s always someone back home that is not you, waiting for him.
15 Ways to tell love is in the air
There are different ways to know or tell that love is in the air. This will be stated and discussed below.
1. He calls and text frequently
If a man can fall in love with his side chick can be answered and seen in ways you won’t expect.
If he falls in love, he will definitely call and text you often to find out how you are faring and might even offer to help you if you seem to have an issue with anything.
2. Promises are kept
A way to tell love is in the air is when promises are kept. His word becomes he bond. Whenever he promises you something, he more often than not always comes through.
3. Having listening ears
When you have someone who listens to you, you are one lucky person whose feelings are still considered precious.
This is another way to tell love is in the air. You won’t get tired of listening when the words come from someone you are having feelings for or you love dearly.
The person would feel loved, accounted for, special, understood, and accepted because they have a saying and a voice.
3. Trust
To trust or be trustworthy is one virtue people seem to take for granted. Some people lie for no just cause and think they can still gain your trust at any given point in time.
Trusting someone is like signing a death warrant that you think you may get out of. As the saying goes, trust is like clean paper, when it is torn or crumpled, it can never go back to its former state. That is, when a trust is broken; you can never trust or be trusted again.
So if you trust someone and someone trusts you right back, it is a way to tell love is on the air.
4. Be tolerant
Before you can tolerate other people, you have to tolerate yourself, that is because you can only give out what you have.
As we all know, no one is perfect, all you just have to do is learn from your mistakes, life is a learning process and should be taken seriously.
You give those you love a chance to redeem themselves when you tolerate their shortcomings, in this way, they are very grateful and eager to make you happy. They will in turn also tolerate your shortcomings and give you a chance. You can only get what you give.
5. Don’t accuse when you complain
A man had an interview to attend and his wife prepared him breakfast while eating, his wife was trying to make him feel comfortable but she mistakenly spilt the juice on his shirt. He was furious, he shouted and screamed at her, he literally brought down the roof on her.
What do you think about this?
This isn’t love but let’s pardon him since every now and then we make mistakes.
He ignored his wife’s feelings. When you don’t like something, say it and don’t talk about the person causing it. The attention should be on the mess even if you know who caused the mess.
7. Make surprises
Having the same routine with someone you love can be very boring and tiring. It can even make the relationship feel strange. Once in a while, spice things up with your partner.
Surprise them with what you have never done for them; it could be a surprise party, a beautiful gift, or anything at all.
Don’t just make it be like the norms, make it special and lovely.
8. Do things they enjoy without hesitation
One tends to do things their partner or loved ones enjoy without thinking twice. They see how they can make them happy every time because they take and see their happiness as their priority or theirs.
When you are particular about the things that bring your loved ones joy, there’s the litmus paper of your heart
9. Useful to yourself
‘Love’ they say makes a boy a man and a girl a woman. When one is in love they tend to become more mature automatically, wanting to bring the world down for their loved ones.
Everybody hates the fact that they cannot come through for the one they love. They feel very disappointed that they can’t be of help to your need but this can be changed when you start becoming useful to yourself.
This gives your loved ones the belief that you truly care about them that you can go the extra mile to make them feel comfortable.
10. You see them in your future
Seeing a partner you love in your future is a clear sign that love is in the air. You can’t just picture a life without them, you will always have thought about them, either during the day or at night
You will often tell your friends how you feel about your partner, which also means you love them with all your heart.
If you can’t imagine your future without your significant other, then you are into them. But if you can and you feel comfortable with it, it shows you had never loved your partner.
11. You like the version of yourself when you are with them
When you are with them, there is a certain feeling of victory. There is a feeling that makes you think you can do anything at any time. It makes you feel like you can conquer the world with them by your side.
If you are not free or you are shy to be yourself around someone you claim to love, it might just be that you never understood the feeling you had for them. This has to be checked.
12. When you are aware of their flaws and you are ok with it
Being aware of your loved one’s flaws doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do anything about it. You can always help them in changing their bad habits and make them turn into a good and new life.
You have a real problem if you think or feel that your partner or significant other is perfect and they are beyond making mistakes. This is the beginning of doom in that relationship because you won’t be able to say anything when their bad attitudes persist.
13. When you leave a love note
In this digital time, it is very rare to see handwritten love notes because most people find it easier to send messages through phones.
But regardless, there’s something lovely and romantic when you find a love note in your coat pocket or under your pillow or any other place in your house.
This shows you appreciate them, so you don’t mind getting a postcard, a pen, and writing thoughtful words on it for your lover to see and read it with a smile on his or her face.
14. Celebrate them
You elebrate the little things your partner has achieved. Make them feel you appreciate them for the efforts they make in whatever they are doing.
You assure them that you will always be there to celebrate them through thick and thin to remind them of how strong and willing they are
15. Overlook some things while arguing
Being in love you tend to find excuses for every wrong thing your partner does. This I tell you has its pros and cons but being in love makes you do some obscene things.
You tend to overlook a lot for peace and continual joy.
Can a man love two women simultaneously?
A second person might make you feel safe and deeply connected, and you will also fall for that person.
Loving two people simultaneously requires a depth of feeling in a relationship that is romantic and can be difficult for most people to handle and maintain their love for more than one person at a time.
According to a dating coach based in New York City, Connell Barrett, It is possible. He said;
“You can fall in love with two people at the same time” Your brain is cranking out dopamine for both women because they make you feel loved and special in different ways.”
A man can fall in love with one woman because of who he sees and what he honors in them and at the same time, be in love with another woman for a whole different reason.
Why do men have side chicks?
1. To have fun
The main reason men have side chicks is to have fun with them sexually. Some men feel that side chicks are more skilled in bed than main chicks. So they always find a way to spend quality time to satisfy their urges.
2. Greed
Mahatma Gandhi said, “Earth provides enough to satisfy every man’s needs, but not every man’s greed.”
When a man is seeing another woman as a side chick, he cannot empathize. He lacks genuine interest in the ideas and feelings of his main chick and he is unwilling to take responsibility for his actions and behaviour.
3. Selfishness
Selfishness is being concerned excessively or exclusively, for oneself or one’s advantage, pleasure, or welfare, regardless of others. This is the opposite of selflessness.
Men who have side chicks are selfish and do not care about the feelings of their main chick. They only care about their sexual desire and fantasy. This is one of the reasons they keep side chick.
4. Unfaithfulness
Men that have side chicks are not faithful to their main chick because they share their attention.
Being faithful goes a long way from just referring to your partner as the main chick. You must respect them and always see them as your better half rather than you cheating on them.
Pros and cons of being a side chick
1. Pros of being a side chick
I. You don’t have to deal with bullshit
If you are probably the main chick, your guy might not do certain things you need for yourself. They give you numerous excuses and reasons why you should not need what you need.
But if you are the side chick, they might go all up to make you achieve all that you need without them questioning you
ii. You never need to worry about a broken heart
As a side-chick you already know you can’t have him or to yourself, you already understand the fact that he is someone’s man, which makes you not request more from him rather than just money and sex, which to you, is all you want rather than a committed relationship.
iii. You get free treatment
The truth is most men take very good care of their side chicks more than their main chick. You as a side chick tend to get enough money to do your hair and pedicure to look all pretty and dashing.
You also get to go on expense-paid aid trips to any country of your choice which sounds pretty exciting.
Cons of being a side chick
I. Loneliness
As a side chick, you don’t have the privilege to be with someone’s man because he will always go back to his real babe leaving you all lonely and unwanted.
A secret relationship can get you quite lonely if you are a side girl. The times and intimate moments you both share is never enough to cover up your loneliness when he is away with his main chick.
ii. You can’t count on him on anything that has to do with your personal growth
He sees you as an unserious person and never thinks about if you have good plans in becoming a better person. He gives you deaf ears when you preach your ideas and excuse you when it is getting too much.
You might need his views on your project but he isn’t given a say rather he changes the topic and go all sexual with you because he sees you as a sex object, not a woman that has dreams and aspirations
iii. Low self-esteem
If you are a side chick, you might start looking down on yourself and seeing yourself as someone who has nothing to offer other than rocking the bed of a man that is not yours.
You see yourself as loose and spoiled. You don’t regard yourself because you hate who you have become and which won’t help you psychologically.
iv. He is not yours
The guy you are seeing cannot be yours because he has someone else who has filled up that space in his heart.
You hoping he leaves his girl and comes to you is just you being mischievous, even if it happens he is just coming to have some of you not for you to be his main babe because you are just his side chick, nothing more.
How to make a good side chick
1. Have an extra level of patience and tenacity
To make a good side chick, you have to have an extra level of patience and tenacity in the sense that, they can’t always be with the man because he has to go back with his main chick.
If you start getting impatient and start calling him when you are not supposed to, you might end up alone and he might stop hanging out with you and this might hurt you in a way.
2. Don’t be jealous
Getting jealous is not part of being a side chick. You know he has a babe and he will flaunt her on his social media so there is no need to try to get answers from that act.
When you come across that kind of post, scroll past and don’t wish you were his main chick, that would destabilize you.
If you want to keep the relationship going and smooth, avoid questions like, “why haven’t you picked your call, where were you, why didn’t you call me” e.t.c? Instead, text a flirtatious message and make him imagine all the goodies you have in store for him.
3. Avoid talking about making him date you
Don’t introduce the topic of dating you when you both are spending time with each other.
You might start developing feelings for him at some point because of how he treats you but at no point should you tell or ask him to date you.
Avoid asking questions like “what are we now? where is this heading too” etc. Questions like that will push him away from you.
4. Don’t be a drama queen
Don’t start building territory where you are not welcomed. Know your role as a side chick, causing drama will never give you the opportunity you think it will give rather. It will cause you trouble and emotional blackmail.
5. Always look sexy
Don’t look all shabby when you go on a date with him. Always keep your fashion game lit so he can get attracted to you.
Stay in shape, have a well-built body people know as “figure 8”, avoid getting too fat, although some men like ladies with some meat, try to update yourself with the latest fashion trend.
6. Have good bedmatic skill
Most men have side chicks so they can explore more sexually. So when I say you have a good ‘bedmatic’ skill, I mean you should be able to handle him in bed by satisfying him in all areas.
Also, have a wild and wide knowledge of sex so you know what to do when you are with him.
7. Don’t read meanings to his gestures
Just because he opens the car door or takes you on trips doesn’t mean he is developing feelings for you.
Don’t expect him to leave his baby for you, so do not read “I want you” as “I will leave her” because it might not happen. Even if he leaves his babe, he might not settle down with you, don’t keep your hopes high.
8. Stay away
Stay away when need be. If he tells you he wants to spend some quality time with his babe, kindly give him a break by not calling and texting during that period.
If by chance you see the main chick, don’t go after her, ignore and continue doing whatever you were doing. Don’t invite trouble by walking up to her and confronting her. Just make sure to keep your distance, this will keep you sane.
Reasons why a man will not leave his wife for you
1. He loves her
I have thought about this and found it difficult to comprehend. He says he loves her but there he is having an affair with another woman, which is a very contradicting statement.
Some men who love their wives have always been known to have other ladies in their lives despite them having the decision to never leave their wives no matter the situation or condition.
2. His biological kids
Any man who has kids with his wife will not leave them because of a side chick. They want their children to live and grow in a home that is functional and complete. This to aid proper growth, physically, mentally and emotionally.
3. He has never told you he wants to
If he hasn’t told you he wants to leave his wife for you, he won’t. Don’t wish he would come to you and say he has cut ties with his wife, there’s no point.
That’s you just over-demanding and forgetting the side chick rule.
4. He often talks about plans that involve his family
Men dream and plan a lot. They can plan their future in just a thought, they think about their aspirations, goals, and their future as a whole.
While on this act, they imagine those who are going to be there when his dreams and aspirations are accomplished and definitely, his family is at the top of the list
5. He doesn’t regard you
A man won’t care if you didn’t reach him for days because he won’t also do the same. Except he has had enough of his wife then he remembers he has you.
He doesn’t see you as a priority or someone he should take seriously because he doesn’t care if whatever he does hurts you or make you happy.
6. You will always be his hidden secret
Men who understand that they have to save their marriages will always keep you a secret. They don’t make the relationship they have with you open.
This is because they don’t want to break their home, they one way or the other want to save the beautiful home they have built even before they met you. They won’t allow you as a side chick to ruin it.
7. He makes excuses
If you have been bugging him to leave his wife to be with you, he will start giving you numerous excuses you can’t fathom.
You might be lucky to get a straight ‘no’ as an answer, at least he is not keeping you in the dark. He has stated your boundaries by which you must abide.
But some men won’t have the balls to come out straight like that, he keeps making excuses that he would divorce her and waiting for the right time.
If he doesn’t give you an answer, he doesn’t want to leave his wife, even if he does, you won’t be the reason for their separation.
8. He doesn’t consider your emotions
You feel he is too busy for you then you call him and tell him that you want him. You would expect him to give you words of comfort. But you get a resounding voice saying “I am busy, don’t call me at this time to tell me this rubbish”
That is he not considering how you might feel. He has zero care about how you would feel, all he cares about is you doing things his way or no way, your emotions should go to the ocean for all he cares.
9. He doesn’t want to divorce his wife
When a man thinks about the load that comes with divorcing his wife, he won’t want to think through that part because he sees it as a no-go area.
He doesn’t feel you are worth the price of him losing his marriage because of you. Although he might divorce her because of you, getting divorced from his wife is a big reason why he might decide not to leave his wife at all.
10. He never opens up to you
If he doesn’t let you know much about him, he simply wants to leave the relationship he has with you in an unclear situation. He doesn’t want you to know much about him or his family; he wants to keep you in the dark.
Men most times have a difficult time opening up, they only open up if they feel safe, secure.
Why you should end your side chick relationship
1. You have to define who you are in a good light
Side chick relationships cannot give you the positive result you have always wished for yourself.
So to attain that height, you need to be focused and driven. Define who you are in good light.
Try to remove the stigma of being a side chick, be bold to see as a mistake you will never repeat knowing and unknowingly.
2. Let him know you are done, confront him
Let your second party know about your new improvements and decisions. Tell him you are no longer interested in being his side chick.
If he is trying to lure you by offering mouthwatering opportunities, stand your ground. This is a bold step of leaving the side chick tag behind.
3. Disregard him
Don’t allow him to speak because he will only talk you out of it. He wants more of you so he won’t approve of you ending your side chick relationship with him. Don’t be confused rather be convinced that he never has a good intention towards you.
4. Take a break
This is a hard phase to pass. You are breaking out from your old world to your new world. Don’t be in a hurry to make things right, take a break.
Taking a break makes you reflect and gives you an edge on how to go about your new life.
5. Work on your self-esteem
Most girls who become side chicks have pretty low self-esteem. They never believe in themselves, they always have a shallow and unappealing mindset about themselves.
If you want to take a step away from being a side chick you must have to believe in yourself. Believe that you are worthy to have a better life rather than to be seen as a slut who can’t define herself more than a side chick.
Work on yourself to become a better person and trust me you will forever be grateful for that decision.
How to end your relationship with your side chick
Ending something that has almost become part of you is pretty hard. It is smart and wise if you can admit your wrongs and boldly come out of it.
Being with a side chick has never been healthy because it has always put the relationship you have with your main babe on the verge of collapse.
You can end your relationship with your side chick only if you have sincerely changed. If you have changed, it won’t be difficult to cut ties with her.
The attention you have been giving her has to stop. The goodies, the trips and getaway spa has to stop, be plain with her, and give her good reasons why you want to end the relationship with her.
Reasons like, you want to become a better husband to your wife, a better father to your children. You want to start living an upright life, the list is endless. Just come out plain and everything will sort itself out.
10 Signs on how to know your man has a side chick
1. He is super nice for no reason
If a guy’s mood changes from a grumpy to a charming look. It is because he is overcompensating for something he did that you might find disgusting or annoying.
Many men buy a gift for their partner when they know they have crossed the bridge, it is an obvious sign of infidelity.
If you notice weird changes, it is high time you sit with him and trash everything out. So you can know where all the lovey-dovey characters are coming from and why.
2. You see him on dating sites
This is an obvious sign that he has another lady on his side. It is glaring from the kind of post he makes and shares.
Men who feel and claim they use those apps to find friends and business partners are not even serious. Like who finds a business partner on a dating site?
3. They are super private
Every minute of the day, his phone rings and he excuses himself to pick it up. Hmmm, something fishy is going on.
Some men take their jobs seriously and are very devoted. You know your spouse is not the kind that takes his job to heart, and all of a sudden, he starts telling you “please excuse me, I have a business call to answer”. Kindly allow him and when he returns from that call, question him
4. His drive for sex dropped
If you guys’ sex life was top notch and all of a sudden it dropped. This is a big and clear sign that he has seen somebody more skilled in the area of giving pleasure through sexual intercourse.
5. Your gut is telling you something off
Sometimes, your gut knows things before your mind does. Things are not as they used to be and you have long since sensed it, that’s your gut in play.
Don’t conclude on baseless proof, make sure the proofs he is cheating are authentic before you spill so as not to get embarrassed.
6. He doesn’t introduce you to his family and friends
You have been dating for years and you still haven’t met any of his siblings, parents, or friends. It’s a sign he doesn’t want to stick with you and he might leave you anytime soon for another exploit
7. Busy bee
He is always so busy even when he is not doing anything. He doesn’t create time for both of you to spend some quality time, he is always rushing in and out to get something and making empty promises to make it up to you.
If he wants to be around you, to hellwith whatever makes him busy, he would create that quality time you desire.
8. He is emotionally distant
A man that is distant emotionally is not the kind of man you want to spend time with. They can never be committed no matter how good a woman you are.
They are to be committed to a woman so they prefer to enjoy the game of being a flirt. This is a sign that there’s a side chick.
How to make your man love you
1. Don’t force him to like what you like
The truth is both of you are different which means, it is feasible you both won’t like some things. Don’t make him feel he is not doing his duty as a boyfriend just because he has a different taste from you.
You may enjoy swimming but he would rather go skiing, you may enjoy eating noodles but he enjoys eating seafood. All these don’t make him love you less.
If you don’t force him to do what you like, he will hold you dear and give you the respect you deserve.
2. Don’t expect him not to take notice of other women
When you trust him, there’s absolutely nothing that will make you feel jealous. The eyes are meant for sightseeing.
If a beautiful woman comes or passes in front of him, he will take some seconds to behold the beautiful creature. If he loves you, he won’t flirt and you allow him to appreciate other women in the world will make him love you.
3. Trust him
Trusting people can be difficult to do but when you sincerely love someone, trusting them becomes natural. Your man craves to be trusted by you, he craves for you to believe him.
The truth is if you can’t trust him, you can never feel secure and you doubt him if he talks or gives a point. If he hasn’t given you a better reason to trust him, don’t be hard on yourself and hard on him. Learn how to compromise and make things right for the both of you.
4. Don’t tell him to give up on his passion
You telling a man you claim to love to give up on his passion is like poisoning him unknowingly. Having a passion for something is like a fuel that drives your body so telling him to quit his passion will just make him lose focus and this may hinder the rosy relationship you once had with him.
Instead, sharing makes him see more reasons to embark on that journey, guide him, and always be there.
5. Avoid changing him
Trying to change a man will only leave you frustrated because it is 50% impossible to change a man.
They only change if they truly want to change that’s after they have finished exploring what you wanted them to change.
Instead of trying to change him, why don’t you just accept him for who he is first and expect the changes later?
6. Don’t take is love for granted
For the fact, you know that your man truly loves you doesn’t give you the license to take him for granted. He is human, he has feelings too,
How do you think he will feel when he complains about something to you but you give him deaf ears. Because he loves you and he won’t mind how uneasy you respond to him.
He will feel really bad and misunderstood. Prevent this by having his feelings in mind at all times.
7. Be kind and considerate
Men love kind women, they feel safe when they are with that kind of woman and they know she got their back when things get sour with them. Develop the habit of saying thank you when he helps you do something you found hard to do.
8. Show that you care
Being caring is one virtue that can make a man love you. Ask about his day, find out what and what he did throughout the day, just don’t ask, also listen to his answers. This will give him a sense that you have a massive love for him and he will balance it by loving you back.
9. Be you and love yourself
If you want any man to accept you for who you are, you have to accept and love yourself first, if not, no man will love you. There is no need of masking your face and be unknown because you are beautiful just the way you are. Self-love is one of the greatest loves one can witness.
Besides, if you get to marry him, he will know who you truly are, so be you from the beginning of the relationship, he will appreciate the fact that you never deceived him.
10. Bring out the best in him
Men want a woman who can encourage them to go for what they are passionate about. When you do all that you can to bring out the best in him, he will feel loved, amazed and always look forward to being around you. Just because you give him the kind of energy he needs to push forward.
11. Show affection
Your man will love and adore you if you show him affection. There are different ways of doing this, you can get him gifts on his special day, take him for a treat, say affirmative words to him, and believe in his capabilities.
Let him know how much you care about him by supporting him in all that he does.
Side chick relationship is not healthy but that doesn’t mean a man cannot fall in love with you as his side chick but is it healthy? Is it something you want for yourself? Can you cope with the heat that comes with it? Do you want to be the cause of a broken home? Is any man worth wasting your time?
All these questions and more are questions you should put into consideration before signing in to it. Everybody deserves true love and you as a side chick aren’t exempted, just be open-minded but don’t build your happiness on someone’s tears.
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