Most times in relationships, women feel like it is mostly the job of the man to make them feel special. It should go both ways. He makes you feel great and you reciprocate.
It hurts when those who we cherish and channel our energy towards hardly reciprocate. Some men don’t see the need to treat a woman right and many women detest this. Women want to know that their men can treat them right.
Women want to feel special around their men. When women aren’t treated like a queen by a man, they might feel relegated.
This can be especially problematic when they know their man treats other people well. He makes them feel special through his actions.
Your man might refuse to treat you in a special way because he no longer cares. He also might be ignorant about what gives you the unique feeling.
Such behavior will surely bother any woman. In this article, we’ll treat “why my boyfriend doesn’t do anything special for me?”
I feel pained because my boyfriend doesn’t do anything special for me
As women, we want romance, date nights, and all. Women want the elaborate stuff and we want to be made to feel special. All this responsibility falls on the shoulders of the man we are currently dating.
So when your man makes you feel ordinary or does not prioritize you, you tend to feel pain and not wanted. Especially if you do a lot for him. It will definitely discourage you, and become unmotivated to do more for him.
If your man gives you an “ordinary-person treatment”, you can easily talk to him about it. Let him know you want the whole princess treatment. If he still doesn’t change, you should leave him for your sanity and mental health.
Don’t allow the pain to press you down and see yourself as ordinary. You aren’t ordinary, you’re special. You’re a woman of unique value.
My boyfriend doesn’t understand my love language
Every person has their own love language. Mine might be money, yours might be date nights. It is up to you to teach him your language and be extra specific.
You can also help him discover his too. You already know what yours is, so help him learn to enable your relationship to move forward.
If your man doesn’t understand this language, you’ll end up disappointed and misunderstood. And when he gives you birthday gifts or plans date night, it might not meet your expectations.
Most times, we do not understand what exactly makes us feel special. So you need to understand exactly the acts that belong in your special category. So that you can explain it to your boyfriend.
If you’re a woman that loves his man to spend quality time with her, talk to your hubby about it. Teach him. Men love to learn from the women they love.
Once he understands the acts in your special category, he can then think of how to treat you in ways that you’ll love. You shouldn’t only make him understand, but find out what your man’s love language is too.
After discovering the acts that make him grin, treat him in a special way too. He’ll definitely go to catch that grenade for you.
Reasons why your man doesn’t give you special treatment
Your man might not be romantic or he can’t afford to do that expensive stuff you want. Here are a few other reasons why your hubby isn’t treating you like a queen.
Your love language is not the same
If you guys don’t speak the same love language, he might have no idea of what to do. He might love sitting at home and having a quiet time.
Yours could be going out and having fun. So when your love language is different, he may not do special stuff for you.
He does not know what you need
Your boyfriend is not a mind reader, so he may not know exactly what you need. So you need to educate him and let him know what you need from him so he can do what you seek.
You don’t match his needs
It may be because his needs are not being met and as such he does not feel appreciated. Men need to feel appreciated for them to also reciprocate.
You are always with him
Living together may not give him the time or space to plan anything special for you. So sometimes, you need to give him a chance to miss you. This can grant him enough time and motivation to want to plan something special for you.
You are suffocating him
He feels smothered and you are already doing everything for him. This man does not see the need to reciprocate. He feels you’ve everything and his little acts won’t count as special.
How to change your man
As a lady, you don’t have to wait for your boyfriend to make you feel special. And as a man, you don’t need a special occasion to make your woman feel special. You need to make her feel special every day; it’s the little stuff that counts.
To change him and make him see why you should be treated in a special way, you can talk to him. Explain to him what his lack of attention does to you. Tell him you want the dates, the spa treatments, the movie nights, the gifts, and every other thing in between.
You can show him romantic moments online, like on YouTube or Instagram. Send him romantic and special stuff you find online. And maybe he will get the hint that you want to be made to feel special also.
Is it normal for a boyfriend to not do anything special for his woman?
Not all men are romantic, and neither do they see the need to do anything unique for their woman. But this is not how it should be no matter how unromantic he is or how busy he is. He should be able to do something special for his woman.
So it is abnormal for a man not to make his woman special. The man must make her feel like a queen to make her feel loved and cared for.
Don’t sweep this attitude under the rug, especially during the early stages of the affair. If you allow such, your man could believe that you don’t desire to be treated specially. He might also find it hard to change and put in the work later on.
Should I leave the relationship because of this?
Leaving the relationship because of this is not a great idea. It might not be because he doesn’t want to, it might be because he doesn’t know how to or he is not able to afford it at the moment.
If you desire to see your man change, you’ve to tell him in clear terms what you want. Let him know how to turn on the light. He doesn’t have to spend money.
Show him the little ways he can treat you nicely without having to stress himself or use too much money. If after you talk to him, he is not putting in the work to make you feel special, then you can think about letting him go.
I’m always doing something unique for my boyfriend but he never reciprocates
This might happen because you are always doing the same thing or you are overdoing it. So he no longer sees it as a surprise or as something special when you do this thing for him.
Another reason could be that he knows that you’ll always be there no matter how much he takes you for granted. Also, he could be cheating on you with someone who makes him feel special too. So he takes your gestures for granted.
Your boyfriend might be emotional baggage. This makes it challenging for him to see these gestures as anything special.
Why did my boyfriend stop making an effort?
He might have stopped making an effort to uniquely treat you because he is already dating you. He does not see any reason to woo you anymore.
Or it could be that he has lost interest in the affair and does not see the future with you anymore. And he does not see the need to bother himself to try and make you feel better.
Men would stop making an effort when they see that you don’t appreciate them. They will stop when they get tired of being yelled at.
He could also stop because he wants to take a break or ghost you. He might notice that you’re selfish and hardly reciprocate with kindness.
Your boyfriend might also stop treating you like a queen because he caught you cheating or you betrayed him.
What to do when your boyfriend doesn’t value you
Open communication is the best way to go. Discuss how you feel about him. Be blunt and make him see why he needs to stop being unconcerned.
Be honest while speaking to him. Don’t shout or pick a fight. Explain how you feel to him in a calm tone
Sometimes talking to him might not work, so you can act how you feel. You might not see any changes for a long time except you act how you feel. Create a little distance.
Don’t call him, don’t text him, or even pick up his call and let him see your value.
Know what you deserve, know your worth. Let him know you possess great value. And also how much you are wanted.
Let him know that if he doesn’t want you, others want you. Let him know he is lucky to have you and if he doesn’t want you, a lot of other people are begging to be with you.
My boyfriend doesn’t do anything for me: Does he love me?
Words are cheap. And action speaks louder than words. So if he doesn’t do anything to prove to you that he cherishes you, he may not mean what he says.
Love is not words alone, it requires actions. So he needs to also back up his words with actions.
You need to understand that you do not need a man to feel good. You can make yourself feel special daily. But it is not also wrong to want a man to do these acts. It does not mean you are weak. It is natural for women to want their men to make them feel loved and special.
This type of man might want to be in a relationship with you but not love you. Love requires sacrifice. And when someone isn’t ready to sacrifice, it means they simply don’t care.
To sum up
Don’t feel terrible about him trying to neglect you. It is an opportunity for you to re-assess your relationship. After trying to enlighten him and if he refuses to put in the work, channel your energy to what will give you peace.
Once you channel this attention to yourself, you won’t be on the receiving end. And you’ll sooner or later attract someone who will treat you in a unique way.