“Why is my ex hiding his new relationship?”- You just can’t wrap your head around why he is doing so. Let’s try to find you somehow. Journey with me.
Most times people break up for reasons that are beyond their control, they might still be in love with that partner but because of forces beyond their control, they have to put an end to the relationship.
Some people move on quickly. It might take them a few months and then they find someone new, while for some it might take years to find another partner. After finding the partner, some hide the new partner from their ex. When the ex later finds out she might ask her why he’s hiding his new relationship or be wondering, as the case may be.
Now there could be various reasons for such action. He might be scared of telling you because telling you might make him feel guilty. The guilt of him breaking your heart just so he could move on with his new relationship, especially if the breakup happened not quite long. He doesn’t want to hurt your feelings again because of the pain caused by the heartbreak.
In this post, we will dig deep to know why your ex is hiding his new relationship from you.
Why is my ex hiding his new relationship?
Men generally mostly hide their relationships. One of the best ways to figure this out is by understanding his reasons before the breakup or after the break-up.
1. He is a better partner in his new relationship
If he was acting like a jerk, always angry at every little thing, nagged a lot, and disrespectful, but now the opposite of what he was with you. This May make him hide his new relationship from you.
2. Doesn’t feel he owes you an explanation.
He is of the opinion that he owes you no explanation because you are no longer his. If you have parted ways, why should you want to meddle in his affairs?
3. Has care for you
So your ex is still showing love and care and is affectionate towards you before the breakup and post-breakup. Then he may be hiding it from you because he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings and rub it on your face.
He did it to enjoy his new relationship without hurting you, as time goes on you will heal and find someone better. Guys dislike hurting their girlfriends because hurting their ex will make them feel uncomfortable and increase their guilt.
3. Do not want to be the reason you got hurt
Guys hide their relationship because they don’t want to be the cause of pain and hurt especially if they move on immediately after a breakup.
4. He believes it’s wrong
They know they are doing wrong and if they should tell their ex will increase the guilt they feel and further hurt the ex’s feelings so they hide the new relationship from her and try to move on.
5. Still in love with you
He is hiding because he still loves you and doesn’t want to lose you just yet. There is a part of him that still believes both of you can work things out.
6. He is getting gifts and money from the new relationship
He is enjoying some sort of benefits from the new relationship, she gives him gifts like new clothes, shoes or a car and may even give him a new house and he knows if you are aware you will be angry at him.
7. His friends are convincing him
His friends have convinced him to get into another relationship and he has agreed but doesn’t want you to find out because you might attack him or the new woman in his life.
8. He is planning a future with her
He knows both of you don’t have a future together but he enjoys your company and likes to have you around and is not ready to lose you yet. So he is hiding it from you so that you wouldn’t leave him.
9. He wants to double date
Maybe he has seen people get into more than one relationship and are doing pretty well and he wants to have a feeling or have an experience.
10. He is friends with benefits with her
Since it is not a serious relationship, it is just a fling he doesn’t see the need for you to know. Hence he is hiding it.
11. His current girlfriend was his ex before you
Maybe she was his ex and they stumbled on each other and from there old love flames were ignited and they started having something serious again. He doesn’t want you to know he left you for his ex which he told you about.
Some other times he is hiding it because you guys are far apart or the distance is very far that you guys don’t see each other as often as you would want and he is bored so he got into a new relationship with another woman.
13. You are easily vexed
He kept you in the dark because you find it difficult to rein in your anger. So bother you with something that will not give you joy in the first place
14. His new relationship is not all that
The current relationship he is in might just be a rebound. As people normally say, ‘you use someone to get over someone’ The breakup might have hurt him so bad and he is looking for a means to move on. His new relationship might just be that.
Moreover, why tell you, when he knows it is just for a short term. Besides, he might want you back
Should he not let me know if he is in a new relationship?
As an ex, you don’t need to know whatever goes on in the love life of your ex. Knowing won’t reconcile the broken relationship nor help you move on.
It rather makes you feel anxious and obsessed about your ex new partner. This will bring about the comparison between you and your ex’s new girlfriend. It derails, demoralizes, and makes you emotionally unstable. This is not healthy for you at all.
It keeps you stagnant and holds you from moving on cause you won’t be able to heal from the breakup. The time you use to investigate your ex-relationship can be used for better things like healing and getting the best for yourself. So do not worry about your ex-love life.
Whatever he said before the breakup doesn’t matter anymore. It makes no difference so there is no need interrogating him with questions like these:
“Why did you do this to me?”
“This was supposed to be a break”
“You told me she was just a friend”, etc.
Your ex said what he said just to get away from you. It could be disrespectful to you but it has happened and the best you can do is to try to move on.
In this instance, ignorance is bliss. Everyone going through a breakup should just look for a way to move on without trying to find out if their ex is dating.
Do not talk about him, do not call him or text him. The time after the breakup is your time to heal and not snoop around trying to discover if your ex is dating.
Will it be too nosy to call him and ask after his new relationship?
There is still no need for contacting your ex about his new relationship. Disturbing your ex about it isn’t going to help you or your ex in any way.
If he is dating her it is because they like each other and are willing to give their relationship a chance. Calling him and asking him for such a piece of information makes you look very desperate and most times desperation is a red flag. This is what your ex wants to avoid, he doesn’t want your emotions to get hurt and get the best of you because you might lose control.
If you seek respect from your ex and don’t seem desperate to want him back, cease all manner of communication with him. This will help you get the space you deserve to heal and help you move on. It’s going to take some time to adapt to the new life but it is worth the while.
Focus on loving yourself and you will realize that inquiring about your ex-love life is not worth your time and emotions.
How to know if he is unhappy in his new relationship
It’s not your business whatever is going on in the love life of your ex. Especially if he made you ask the question “why is my ex hiding his new relationship”.
But you are curious to find out if he is happy in his new relationship or if there is trouble in paradise. Here are seven signs that your ex is unhappy in his new relationship.
1. Always bolting
His new partner is giving him problems. Probably during the period you guys were dating the relationship was smooth till the breakup was about to happen then the fighting started. Now he’s always running, looking confused and unkempt, etc.
In this mission of trying to replace you, he found someone who was the opposite of you
2. He’s always keen on visiting you
After the breakup, you guys need space and time apart so that the healing from the breakup can be fast and you both can move on.
But he keeps visiting you more often than usual after the breakup it could be that his new partner is not giving him the happiness he was hoping for.
3. They are all over you on social media
Be it on Instagram, on Facebook he’s all over you on this site. He’s the first to view your stories and comments on your post and like them.
When you post about yourself having a good time with a new man, they post something similar just to counter you but deep down they are unhappy that’s why they keep checking on your social media.
4. He fights a lot with his new partner
Every couple fights from time to time even the most perfect of couples fight, but you noticed most of the times they are together they don’t act like couples they cross arms, puffing churches
5. He speaks ill about your new relationship
If you both have moved on and found someone new and your ex keeps telling you negative things about your relationship just avoid him because it’s likely he’s just been jealous and unhappy in his new relationship and wants to spread the same energy toward your new relationship.
6. He calls you when he is drunk
If he is the kind of person that takes alcohol when sober or sad it is more likely he will call you when drunk and start saying some things which he’s not supposed to say.
7. They share too much information about their relationship
They post pictures and videos of everything they do, but behind the scenes, they are fighting and quarrelling with each other, they post things they did and things they didn’t do just to please the public.
He still wants me back but he is in a hidden relationship – what do I do?
You’ve been through a lot already from the time of the breakup. From the sadness, to healing, and then the process of you moving on with your life. All of a sudden your ex comes out of the blues and says he wants you back in his life. Meanwhile, you already know he is in a new relationship with someone else but he didn’t tell you. Hence the confusion.
We can give tips, and factors to take into consideration while making your decision and offer you insight into what might happen.
The first question you should ask yourself is why does he want me back, after all the pain and sadness of the breakup, why the change of mind?
Breakups happen for numerous reasons and maybe he wanted something new and different but later discovered that it wasn’t what he expected. Now he realised he made a mistake and decided he wants you back. The main problem here is that he is already in a new relationship and he is hiding it from you but you are aware.
Now some of the reasons he might want you back are that he wants to be casual friends with you again if he wants to be friends with benefits with you. He enjoyed your romantic and intimate moments and just wants only that. He wants you as a backup plan in case it doesn’t end well with his current partner he will come back to you no matter what the reason is.
If he wants you back then he should end his relationship with his new partner unless you are comfortable with being his second choice
What is pocketing in a relationship?
Pocketing in a relationship simply means when a partner avoids or hesitates to introduce their new partner to their families, friends, colleagues, or people that you know in person or on social media.
The partner ghosts his/her partner in the public eye, more like the person or their relationship is non-existent. This is a tricky attitude to experience because you might have trust issues if you discover your partner is pocketing you.
Now one question you might want to ask is why your partner is pocketing you in the relationship. Let us look at a few reasons why people pocket their partners.
The fear that the family might not like or approve of the new partner.
2. False image presentation
They might have built some kind of image and reputation amongst their friends and family that introducing you to their families or friends will collapse such images.
They may be ashamed of their family and friends and think that introducing their new partner to their families and friends will make the partner think less of them, this mostly happens when there is a huge gap in education or socio-economic difference.
4. Hiding from someone
They are not posting about the relationship on social media because they are hiding you from a particular person, maybe an ex, a friend, or someone else they are seeing.
How to tell you are being pocketed
1. You didn’t get an invite
He or she doesn’t invite you to anything that involves his family or friends
2. Excuse upon excuses
They always make an excuse why you cannot meet their families or friends
3. Discrete meeting places
You both don’t meet in public places where both of you might see people you both know, rather you guys meet in secluded and discrete places.
4. Concise conversations
They don’t talk much about their families or friends when they are around you, they don’t want you to ask when they will have the chance to meet your people.
5. Do not post your pictures
They don’t post about you or both of you on their social media. It is as if they are still single, there’s no hint of a relationship on their social media page.
6. No proper introduction
They do not properly introduce you to their friends or family, they normally introduce you as a friend or just by your name.
7. Close relations don’t know if your existence
Their friends and family have never heard about you, they do not know anything about you.
The best thing you can do if you notice any of these signs is to communicate with the partner effectively, try to know why and give reasons why you can bear it and why you can’t continue.
How do I move on when I’m still in love with him?
There are no ways around it, heartbreaks are sad experiences and it’s hard, very stressful. Different people react in different ways but the most important thing is to learn how to move on after the relationship ends. It is good for your well-being and it opens you up to meeting someone you can have a future with.
Here are a few ways you can cope with a breakup and move on
Just like when you lose a loved one and you mourn, the same thing can be done here. Mourn yourself because you are detaching yourself from someone you truly loved and cared about. It requires tears to cry it out.
2. Don’t shoulder all the burden
Both you and your ex were in the relationship and both of you have yourself to blame for whatever happened, do not feed yourself with ideas that it was all your fault or you never deserved your ex.
3. Cut off all relationships with your ex
Be it on social media or in person, avoid your ex as much as possible as you can delete his numbers, etc. The more distance you create the better your healing process.
4. Examine and learn from the relationship
Every relationship can teach you something new. Looking back at the relationship, what did you learn or gain, and what did you do wrong? and how can you be a better person? It helps in future relationships.
5. Don’t have casual sex
Don’t get romantically engaged with your ex again after a breakup most times this happens because you’re jealous he found another woman and due to your obsession with him you might feel good within a few hours but later feel worse the best thing is to get over it and move on.
How to know he hid his relationship status on Facebook
Sometimes it happens that his relationship status is not updated and you rarely get notified. If you subscribe to their page you will see it on their news feed or status update in their activity log. Other than that you will not know until you look at the person’s profile.
Or if you can’t view it try sending him a relationship status request and ask him to accept it. If he rejects it then he is hiding his relationship.
What do I do, I want him back
After a breakup, you’ve reflected on the relationship and learned your lessons and you can still see a future with your ex, even though he might not be on the same page with you but you’re hopeful that you guys can still make it work. Here are a few things you can do to win your ex-boyfriend back.
1. Give them space
The relationship was a beautiful thing and it hurt them as much as it hurt you, so give them space to heal and get over it. It helps them to clear their mind and think of the next thing they want.
2. Avoid communication offline and online
This is very important because you might get jealous if you see his post or a story on social media where they are having fun without you. It might trigger your emotions and you start feeling hurt.
3. Work on your attitude
If you were having issues with anger or you were too pessimistic about most things during the relationship it is advisable to work on such an attitude. It could be the cause why the relationship did not work in the first place.
Your ex-boyfriend hiding his new relationship can be because of different reasons. It could be because he doesn’t want to hurt you further or he thinks you don’t need to know but whatever his reason may be.
You should focus on yourself and move on from the broken relationship rather than start thinking about why is my ex hiding his new relationship. Move on and you’ll realize that chasing or worrying over your ex-love life is not worth your time and emotions.