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15 Reasons Why: The Thought of My Ex Sleeping With Someone Else Kills Me

15 Reasons Why: The Thought of My Ex Sleeping With Someone Else Kills Me

After a breakup, people don’t just forget their ex, some even go ahead to say: The thought of my ex sleeping with someone else kills me.

If thoughts of your ex sleeping with someone else is killing you, it could mean that you still have feelings for him, and thinking of him sleeping with someone else feels like he is cheating on you.

If you are seeking answers to your thoughts “why does the thought of my ex sleeping with someone else kills me.” In this article, we will discuss the possible reasons you are having these thoughts.


15 reasons why the thought of your ex sleeping with someone else kills you

1. You still have feelings for them: 

If you broke up with your ex and you still have feelings for them, especially if they dumped you, it can make the thought of them sleeping with someone else hurt you. You might not be with them now, but the fact that you still have feelings for them makes you worried they might get intimate with someone else.

2. You are afraid they will never come back to you: 

You are scared that if they are having sex with someone else, it might destroy the possibility of them coming back to you. However, if your ex sleeps with someone, to you, it means they no longer care about you and might already be working on moving on. That might be why those thoughts are messing with your head.

3. You are jealous: 

Jealousy is another feeling that can make you think of your ex sleeping with someone else in your head. Even if you are no longer with them, it still feels like they are still yours. So when you think of them being with someone else, it hurts and makes you feel jealous.

4. If feels like they never loved you:

If you are asking why the thought of my ex sleeping with someone else kills me, maybe you are afraid that if this happens, it will feel like they never loved you. 

5. It feels like you didn’t mean anything to them:

If they are sleeping with someone else, it will feel like you did not mean anything to them. This could be why this thought is hurting you.

6. You have not healed from the breakup: 

If you have not moved on from a relationship, it will take your time to stop thinking about your ex. Maybe these thoughts in your head about your ex being with someone else hurt so much because you have not moved on from the hurt, the relationship cost you.

7. The relationship was all you had: 

Your ex was all you had, and probably your first love. It’s normal to be obsessed with him, even if they are no longer with you.

8. You blame yourself: 

You think the breakup was all your fault. Now if they don’t come back to you, it will hurt you so much. The fact that you blame yourself makes the thought of them moving on hurt so much.

9. You want to be the only person that connects to your ex:

You share a bond with your ex and the thought of someone ex connecting with them hurts you badly. So you feel if they have sex with someone else, they might start to feel connected with them.

10. Your happiness still depends on your ex:

You still love your ex. This can make you worried about your ex being with someone else. Your happiness still depends on him. You don’t want him to move on, because you don’t feel you can find someone else that can make you happy as they do.

11. You have not had closure:

When you break up with someone, you need some time to get through everything. So if your break-up is still early, it’s normal for you to always think of your ex.

12. You are obsessed with your ex: 

You still think of your ex, you still stalk them, and you always want to know what is going on in his life. When you see him with someone else, it feels like they have moved on already and you don’t want that. When you are obsessed with someone, a lot of thoughts about them will be in your head.

13. You are still waiting for them: 

You don’t want to move on. And you are worried if they find another person, your waiting might be in vain.

14. They were the first person you had sex with:

This is one I have experienced. For me, the thoughts of my ex sleeping with someone else kept coming because they were the first person I slept with. So when we broke up, I was always thinking; what if they are having sex with someone else right now? So this might also be the reason you have these thoughts too.

15. You aren’t confident without them:

You might not be confident in your sexual skills. So you would feel if your ex sleeps with someone better than you in bed, they might never come back to you.

How to stop the thoughts of your ex being with someone else

1. Accept it is over: 

Even when an ex leaves you, as a dumpee, it will be very hard for you to accept it is over. You keep on stalking them looking for signs that they will come back to you. This is why these thoughts will always be in your head. But if you accept that it’s over, and don’t mind if they come back or not, those thoughts will slowly fade away from your head.

2. Accept you still have feelings for them:

The only way you can stop having feelings for someone is to accept that you still feel something for them. If you try to hide how you feel, it will take a longer time for the feelings to die.

3. Delete your ex from social media: 

If you still have your ex on your social media, it’s time to block him. To avoid always stalking him, or doing things that remind you of him.

4. Ask family and friends not to talk about your ex: 

You also have to talk to your close friends and family to cut off discussions about your ex for now. If they keep talking about your ex, it will be harder for you to heal.

5. Take away everything that reminds you of your ex:

If you still have their stuff in your place, it’s time to take it away.

6. Focus on yourself: 

It’s all about you. You have to realize that your life is all that matters. Whatever your ex is doing right now shouldn’t be your business. You love yourself too much to waste your time, thinking about how he spends his life.

7. Get a distraction: 

Go out with friends, have fun, and just do anything that would get your mind off thinking about your ex.

Why your ex is always on your mind

When a relationship ends, it takes a lot of time for you to get the thought of your ex off your mind. Even if you don’t love them anymore, thoughts of them will always come to your mind from time to time. Not until you are ready to move on, then these thoughts will gradually fade away. 

So your ex is always on your mind because you have shared a lot of memories with them. And there is no magic switch that you can flick to stop these memories from crossing your mind. But if it’s always coming to your mind, it either means you have not healed from the breakup or you still have feelings for them.

How to know if your ex is sleeping with someone else

There is no way you can know for sure, or else he tells you or you catch him having sex which is rarely going to happen. Moreover, he is your ex, and it’s not your business if they are having sex with someone else or not. Well, if you care to know if they had sex, the answer to your question is that if they are not having sex with you, there’s a high chance he is doing it with someone else.

Am I obsessed with my ex?

If you still do the following, then you are obsessed with your ex.

1. You find reasons to reach out to him: 

You are always thinking about them. Your mind is always telling you to call or text them. You would even come up with silly excuses just so you can hear from them.

2. You are stalking his social media:

You are always on their social media page, trying to check what they are up to.

3. You don’t want him to move on:

This is one of your greatest fears. You don’t want your ex to move on. When you see him with someone new, it’s like your whole world is about to crash.

4. You are always talking about him: 

When you are in a conversation with people, you always find a way to talk about your ex. You can’t go a day without talking about them.

5. You’re constantly thinking about him: 

Thoughts of them are always crossing your mind. You can think about them all day.

6. You are convinced he is stalking you:

To you, you feel they are stalking you too. They may not be, it’s just because you want them to.  You feel they’re thinking of you as you think of them.

My ex slept with someone else and wants me back

Well, he is your ex. He slept with someone else while you were broken up and it makes you feel bad because you know you wouldn’t do the same to them. Nevertheless, he did it because you were not together and he was honest with you. If he could not keep himself during the breakup, that might mean he is probably not your type. So do you want him back? Here you’ll need deep introspection. If you think he has not changed or you can’t trust him, it’s better not to accept him back. If you feel it does not matter if he slept with somebody, and you trust him, then you can get back to him.

How do you let go of an ex you still love?

1. Accept that they are gone:

You have to stop living in denial. They are gone and they are not coming back. Forgive and forget the past.

2. Take out everything that reminds you of them: 

If you are still keeping his stuff, take them out, cut contact with him, and delete him from all your social media.

3. Understand it is natural to still love them:

What you feel now it’s normal, don’t hurt yourself because of it. It’s normal to love your ex after a breakup. With time it will start to fade away.

4. Love yourself:

Put yourself first. If you love yourself enough, you won’t allow thoughts of your ex to make you unhappy.

5. Go out and have fun:

Go out, make new friends, and have fun. This way, you may find someone that deserves your love.

Can you stop loving someone you once loved?

If you once loved someone, it’s very difficult to stop loving that person. It will take a long time. To free yourself and to free them too. Even if you must have moved on with your life, when you cross paths with this person, you will still have that feeling inside of you that you feel something for him, though by that time, it won’t matter anymore. This is because you have accepted the truth and moved on with your life. 

Can you love your ex forever?

He is your ex, not your enemy. If you had a relationship with him and it ended on good terms or even bad terms, you can still love him. You might not love him to date him, but they still hold a special place in your heart. 

If you love someone deeply, he will always hold a soft spot in your heart but with time, it will just fade away to the kind of love you feel for your friends. You love them, but you have moved on from the thought of them coming back into your life.

How to accept a relationship is over

1. Allow yourself the grief and the pain: 

Don’t live in denial if it hurts, let it out. Allow yourself to feel the pain that’s the only way you can heal.

2. Identify what went wrong: 

Understand what went wrong. Write down things that made the relationship end and you will see reasons why you don’t need to go back.

3. Remind yourself there is no need to go back:

Always remind yourself that it is over and whatever you had has come to an end.

4. Talk to someone you trust: 

Spend time with your friends, and family. Talk to them about how you feel.

5. Take care of yourself:

Take the time off social media, visit the gym, eat well, and avoid the urge to stalk your ex. Focus on everything that concerns you for now.

6. Seek help:

If it feels that you can’t get over it, seek the help of a professional therapist.

How long does it take to get over a broken heart?

This varies for individuals. It depends on how long you dated the person, how much you love the fellow, and how much he meant to you. According to a 2007 study, it takes about 3 months to feel better after a heartbreak. If you just had a relationship with someone. For divorce, it took about 18months to get over a relationship.

Nevertheless, as we have earlier said, this depends on the person. For some it can take less time, for others it could take years to get over a broken heart, especially if they love the person so much.


I hope reading this article has helped answer your question; “why does the thought of my ex sleeping with someone else kills me?” Well, you have to realize that what you feel right now is normal. It happens to a lot of people. After a breakup, they get obsessed with what is happening in their ex’s life. It will take time for you to get these thoughts out of your head. 

You have to accept the situation, focus on yourself and realize that it is a waste of time to wonder who your ex is with. Take away everything that reminds you of your ex, and look for hobbies or anything that can distract you from thinking about them. Love yourself and move on.

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