Social media is one of the easiest avenues for meeting people these days. And due to the ways these social media platforms operate, people are more real on them which ultimately makes social media red flags in relationships a thing – relationship wrecker. But Social media platforms have strongly proven that you can find true love in those spaces and they have also shown that they are nice platforms to show your love for your spouse. Since it’s largely a public space, it’s easier than before to catch your significant other when they are up to no good. Below are some social media red flags in a relationship that you should carefully look out for.
15 Red Flags in Your Partner’s Social Media Accounts that Should not be Overlooked
1. They Are Flirtatious:
One of the obvious red flags you should not ignore is a flirtatious online partner. If you notice they always comment with flirty words on other people’s posts and message boxes, it is advised to review the relationship to know where you both are heading to.
Although when they are been asked about the stunts they are pulling, they tend to say “I’m just trying to catch cruise or have fun.” This is one of the sentences such partners use to defend their nonchalant attitude towards the relationships.
2. They Are Secretive:
If your partner is secretive online, and hides details about you, then consider that a major red flag to worry about. There are some private people that do not like to show their relationships on social media maybe due to the nature of their job or type of personality and only do so on special occasions. If on a special occasion he still does not post anything about you, then something is wrong.
3. They Have Controlling and Jealous Behavior:
Being controlling and jealous can be very annoying. Harmless gestures like adding a friendly comment on a friend’s post can trigger him and he might vehemently ask you to pull the comment or post down. Such type of reaction is a major red flag; it shows how insecure he is.
4. Having Another Secret Account:
Social media users sometimes do have burner accounts. These users are also sometimes in relationships too, and promising their partners that they have only one account to their name on that particular platform. It is always disheartening to discover that one’s partner has several burner accounts and uses them for anti-relationship activities. Discovering this should be a blessing and the act is one of the biggest social media red flags in relationships. If ignored, I bet you do not mean well for yourself.
5. No Relationship Status Updates:
If you check your partner’s social media handles and find out he or she is yet to let the social media community know that they are in a relationship with you while you have yours on green, take that as a red flag. It might be a small red flag, not waving, but be concerned about that move and have a talk with your partner concerning that.
6. They Follow Many Sexual Accounts:
Now that you’ve committed yourself to one another, there’s an unspoken expectation that no one would be looking at other attractive people anymore. You’re so engrossed in them that other people simply don’t compare to their looks and personality.
You’d wish they thought the same – until you accidentally peer over their shoulder and see what’s on their phones: Photos of naked models doing sexy poses.
7. Their Offline and Online Behaviors Are Inconsistent:
They constantly share inspirational quotes and videos. They post positive affirmations that focus on being happier and living a better life. While you might admire these, there’s a problem: In real life, they’re wildly pessimistic, or even aggressive.
You know that’s not like them to be so positive. They’re being inauthentic and lying to people. If they don’t see this as a problem, that’s a red flag.
8. They Publicly Support Figures You Disagree With:
He shares something that doesn’t make you happy. He shares something that’s against your beliefs or ideology all the time. It means you guys must not have a lot in common and might fall into arguments frequently.
9. Being Online 24/7:
If your partner is always on their phone, that should be something to worry about. If you both go on a date and he or she derives more joy in attending to their phone rather than giving attention to the set date, he might certainly be having a better companion. And this can be seen as a red flag to take note of.
10. Not Adding Your Friends:
Although, many people have different ways of handling their social media life. Some strictly add friends that share the same mutual friends with them. Some add based on the fact that whoever they are about to add looks familiar, and the least is endless. When you notice they don’t add your friends, ask them and know their reasons, at least they are supposed to be cool with some of your friends. They might just feel that your friends might leak their deep secrets to you if they add them as friends on their social media handles.
11. Suspicious Pictures:
There is a saying that says “Pictures speak a thousand words.” If your partner posts something that suggests he is cheating, it is ok to be worried about it or confront them. Remember to always verify what you saw by giving a thorough look to be sure of whatever you might have seen before verifying from your partner.
12. They Constantly Seek Attention Online:
While you do enjoy seeing selfies of them, sometimes it might feel like they post too much about themselves. They post selfies of themselves doing the most mundane things, modeling and posing in almost the same positions every time. They also cause a lot of trouble online by making controversial statements about topics just to boost their popularity online.
13. Too Much PDA:
Yes, showing your relationship is good but when it is too much it is annoying. Too much display on social media sites can also be questionable. Sometimes the couples that post too much are the ones who are unhappy in real life.
This isn’t always the case, because some couples truly enjoy each other so much they can’t stop posting on social media.
14. Not Tagging You in Photos:
When you are in a serious relationship, it’s natural that your partner will tag you when they post or share a picture. However, if they are purposely avoiding you and not tagging you in any of the photos, then it might be hard to process whether they value you and their relationship with you or not.
15. Flirty Comments From Others:
Posting cool pictures on social media is fine. But if your partner gets flirty comments from people you don’t know, then it’s one of the clear social media red flags in relationships. Even worse, if you see the same person sending flirty emojis and commenting on your partner’s posts everywhere, then it’s a sure warning. Talk to your partner in a non-threatening way and try to learn the truth before they are head-over-heels into that person.
What is Considered Cheating on Social Media?
Social media has in a way normalized cheating in the sense that some people tend to start finding other people in that space attractive, to be in an affair with them, and disregard the fact that they are in a relationship with someone else and this act has broken so many home and relationships. There are some online traits your partner will possess that are considered social media cheating, these will be discussed below.
• Checking of someone’s post constantly:
Viewing people’s posts and statuses is a social media norm like it is one of the things you tend to do anytime you log on to the internet. But when you notice your partners are always on a particular female or male social wall sharing and liking their post, it is a clear sign they have a hidden feeling for that person and might as well look for ways to explore that feeling.
• Creation of fake profiles:
Partners that get involved in creating fake accounts or profiles got something hidden under their sleeves. They create fake profiles to distract you from whatever they do online. Even if you see the account on your newsfeed, you would feel unbothered because you don’t know anyone with that username, and that could be a sure ticket for your partner to accomplish his or her social media desire.
• Commenting on an ex’s post or photos:
It is not bad for one to comment on an ex-post or photo. But if the comment begins to look suspicious that means, they should be a cause for alarm, for such an action to look into. When you start seeing erotica comments from your partner on their ex’s wall, it speaks loudly that they are still having something to do with their ex and you should beware to avoid stories that touch.
• Involving in flirty chats:
Sending a DM to people on your social media space cannot be considered flirty. This is one of the primary reasons social media is created. To connect with other people easily without getting to see them.
If it goes beyond just chatting on regular issues and then chatting about each other’s sexual life and maybe getting involved in nothing talks, it would be categorized as cheating because you are giving them the impression that you are single meanwhile, you are not.
• Secretly planning meetings: Partners that use social media to plan meetings and attend these meetings secretly which then affect the condition of their present romantic relationships are carrying big red flags. They have zero respect for their partners.
• Using emoji
The way written words pass across a message is the same way emojis pass messages. If you are cut out using the wrong emoji while you chat with someone, it can mar a relationship by making it seem to your partner that you find them more appealing. For example, if you are using the love emoji to a random friend, it will pass a wrong message to them.
Is Social Media Toxic for a Relationship?
This depends on the individuals involved in a relationship. If they are mature individuals, social media toxicity would be far from them but if not, they tend to get the backlash social media has to offer them.
The fact you spend too much time on social media creeps toxicity into your relationship. The times you are meant to spend with your lover, you spend it pressing your phone, making your partners nag, and doing all sorts of unappealing acts because they feel lonely and unwanted.
Another reason why social media is toxic for a relationship is that some people tend to compare the relationships they see online with theirs. They start confronting their partners or spouse about why they didn’t do certain stuff they must have seen on the net. All this starts bringing unreasonable back and forth arguments within them. If one is not careful, social media can ruin their relationships.
How to Set and Follow Social Media Boundaries in a Relationship:
When you want to have a relationship without social media causing problems you have to follow these basic rules:
1. Don’t flirt in Facebook conversations.
2. Thoroughly think about adding someone on their social media profiles who could lead to friction in the relationship, like an ex.
3. Don’t like photos of attractive strangers, or a friend especially when they are too sexy or someone your partner already thinks you like in real life.
4. Don’t spend too much time on your phone when you are with your partner. If you cannot leave your phone altogether, at least make some effort and turn off the notifications. Even if you get alerts, you don’t have to check them there and then.
5. Resist the urge to spy on your spouse’s online behavior or social media account.
6. If your partner posts anything suspicious, communicate with your partner about it. And also inform him of social media activities that can threaten the longevity of the relationship so he can adjust and become a better fellow.
Five Steps to Take When Dealing With Social Media Red Flags in Relationships:
When you catch these red flags, it can be heartbreaking.
The most important step is to
1. be honest with your significant other.
2. Bring it up to them, and openly express your concern over it.
4. Try not to be too aggressive because they might just deny their behavior even more.
5. If you can’t talk it through, or if you’ve completely lost your trust in them, it might be time to separate. This is to save yourself from a potentially toxic relationship.
How to Trust Your Partner on Social Media:
When a partner becomes increasingly attached to their device, it can feed a strong desire on your part to check their phone. But that means you don’t even trust them and no relationship can stand without trust. You guys have to try to build trust among yourselves, even if it involves sharing passwords. Just do anything that would make you not even bother to check his phone.
If you find yourself doubting your partner’s commitment, then it’s not a good sign. But before reaching a decision, analyze how they treat you in real life and have a non-threatening conversation about your doubts. Because sometimes some people can live a completely different life on social media, so it depends on how well you know your partner. But if it’s a red flag that he still poses in real life, it is time for you to get out of that relationship.