How to get over a married man can be difficult because you being in an affair with him can make things hard for you even if you ever think of pulling out. This man is obviously married with kids and he can’t be 100% around to attend to your needs and he can’t also love you the way you love him. So, the best thing to do is to get over him and start a new life.
You might have asked yourself what are the ways to get over a married man? Some of the ways to get over a married man are: Giving yourself a chance to start again; developing high self-esteem; talking to someone about it; getting interested in a new hobby; meeting new people; Burning memories, etc.
20 ways to get over a married man
1. You are his mistress. Face it!
No matter how nice a man is to you, hardly will he allow you to take the place of his wife. You are the other woman who is just warming his bed and doing things he doesn’t get from his wife. That doesn’t give you the “WIFE” title.
Having to go through this can dent your entire well-being. Think about it, is an affair with a man that is married worth your beautiful life? If your answer is No, you sure know what to do.
2. Start again
Being sad and locking you indoors won’t help you out of your misery. Instead, it will make you more bitter and lonely.
You are young, beautiful, and you can be happily single too only if you forgive yourself and promise yourself to push forward.
Engage yourself, visit friends, go on a trip, go for games, just do whatever makes you happy. If all these don’t work, your diary can be your best friend. Let it out in writing, no matter how you write it, it will be understood.
3. Develop a high self-esteem
The truth of the matter is when you have high self-esteem, you won’t see yourself thinking about being in an affair with a married man because you see and put yourself on a high pedestal. When it comes to living rightly, you won’t get yourself mixed up with that kind of lifestyle. And this would allow you to preserve the reputation you have built.
4. Don’t blame yourself
Things happen for different reasons, no one is perfect, and everyone has been involved in one or two problems that made them sour and unhappy. You trying to move forward is not different. Avoid the blame game.
Stop feeling sorry because you loved him. Stop feeling sorry you had invested so much time in him and yet it didn’t work out, etc. Doing all these will only add to your pains.
Try every possible way to forgive yourself. Know that whatever you did was wrong and you are never going through that path. The same way you got attracted to him, is the same way you will get over him. It takes patience and time but it will be done.
5. Analyze what the relationship is not offering you
In life, people tend to evaluate things they want to achieve and how to achieve them. Before you started seeing a married man, you must have thought and maybe written about things you would gain from dating a married man. It could be how you want to be loved more as a side chick or anything at all.
Have a sincere conversation with yourself. Have you in any way gotten this from the man you are in an affair with?
If your answer is No, you have to look for a way forward because you are not getting anything tangible from the affair.
6. Talk to someone
You are asking how to get over a married man? Talking to someone, especially a relationship therapist can give you the answers that can help you break free.
7. Burn the memories
If you want to move on with your life, you have to erase the memories you shared with him. Burn the photographs, the gifts, love notes, text messages, birthday car, ds, and all that could bring back his memories.
If you have to start afresh, you have to forget about the past. And the married man you once had an affair with is now in your past, forget him.
8. Block his contact
First off, it is very wrong to get involved in dating a married man because you are hurting people you might not see and at the same time hurting yourself.
To remove yourself from this kind of situation and also save your sanity, you have to take that step to block his number. And if you don’t, he has every chance to come back into your life like nothing happened and that is the last thing you need moving forward.
9. Think about his kids
A sane and sincere mind will consider the effect and impact of the affair they have with a married man on his kids. How do you think the kids will feel if their parents are fighting because of you? Do you think if they see you anywhere they will accord you the respect you deserve?
Even if you succeeded in making a man divorce his wife, do you think it is fiction for his children by giving them a broken home? Think of how traumatized they would be. You certainly wouldn’t want that for yourself or your future kids.
10. Date single men
Dating single men must be after you have healed from your previous affairs with married men and this shouldn’t be done in a hurry. Create more quality time for yourself to learn, unlearn and relearn.
Having to know that you are the only one your partner is dating and vice-versa gives peace of mind. You don’t have to start panicking when you are having a good time with him like the times you dated married men. No one will harass you for snatching their men from them. You will see the difference.
11. Ask him to divorce his wife
The easy way to get over a man is to ask him to divorce his wife. Knowing where you stand in his life is very paramount, let him know you want the relationship you have with him to take a step further that you want to be his wife.
Watch how he will react, he might ask you to give him some time. This might take ages because the truth is, he is not going to leave his wife for you. The sooner you realize this, the better for you.
12. Stop the act of lying to yourself
Lying to yourself won’t in any way change the fact that someone’s marriage is at stake because of your greedy and nonchalant attitude.
13. Scare him with a pregnancy test
Play a little prank on him by giving him a pregnancy test result and tell him that you are pregnant.
If he tells you to abort it and you keep it away from his family, this should prompt you that he is using you for fun. Is that the kind of life you signed up for yourself? Is that how you want to be taken for granted?
You haven’t even gotten pregnant and he has denied you like you never existed. You can’t entirely blame him because he has a family and putting them in that kind of shame is something else to him.
This will make you know how he sees you and where you stand in his life. Don’t think before walking away; just walk away for you deserve more.
14. Pack your bags
It is time to focus on yourself, it is time to explore the good side of life, and get a new orientation about life.
Go meet people that were there for you before you took that part to be a mistress, be it family, close friends, high school teachers, anybody at all.
Having them around you gives you a sense of self-love and worth and these decrease the thought of the affair you had with a married man.
15. Go shopping
Before you got heartbroken, you have always had an eye on those shoes you saw in the Maldives shopping mall. Why don’t you spoil yourself with a shopping spree?
Get some money, go to the mall, and buy things you have always loved to have. Try them on, look sexy and take some beautiful pictures. Trust me, this works like magic.
16. Invest more in yourself
If you haven’t finished university, go back to school. Read more books that can enlighten you more on your situation, learn a skill, and do things that make you happy.
17. Do a fact check
Dating a married man was never something you thought of but maybe you were led by circumstances.
Think of what led you to it, are you still battling with it or you have jumped that hurdle, if you have jumped, why are you still there, why do you want to hurt yourself further?
You know the relationship you are in with that man isn’t heading anywhere good. Why are you ignoring your knowledge?
Are you happy with the lies, the fear, the insecurities you face every day which give you sleepless nights? If you genuinely answer that, you definitely will know what to do.
18. Get interested in a new hobby
Getting a new hobby is just another way of getting over a married man. You have always loved how to drive a car. Why don’t you go enroll in driving lessons and learn the basics, this could help in easing the pain.
19. Meet new people
Meeting new people gives you new chances in life and opportunities. Go to places you have never been to before, start a conversation with people you want to be new friends with, you might find out that they are interesting people that will replace your broken heart with a joyful heart.
20. Believe in yourself
Don’t ever settle for less when you haven’t tried. Most women date married men because they think it is what they deserve. They think no single guy will look at them twice and approach them so they rather settle with the married man that looked at them once and liked what they saw.
You convince yourself that you are in love, meanwhile, do you just love the fact that you think that you are in a relationship, a relationship that you don’t know the start to finish? Come on, you deserve more.
How do you get over a married man you love?
Getting over a married man you love can be hard because the beautiful experiences and memories you had shared with him keep playing in your head and the thought of leaving him can break you down.
You might be scared of not falling in love again if you leave him or no man can treat you like the way he treats you.
But to be sincere, you can’t go on with such a toxic affair if you start considering the troubles and pains involved.
To get over him, you have to cut all ties and contact him, give yourself a second chance, engage in self-development activities, learn a skill, and above all love yourself like never before.
Can a man love his wife and girlfriend at the same time?
It is possible for a man to love his wife and girlfriend at the same time. Most men crave both emotional intimacy and romantic passion, when they do not get both in their wives, they will seek it in their girlfriends.
Married men understand the emotional needs and desires of women better than their single counterparts.
Signs a married man is using you
1. He pays for your silence
One sign to note that a married man is using is when he pays for your silence. The fact he doesn’t want anybody to know he is having an affair with you makes him bribe you with cash or a very expensive gift for you to keep quiet.
2. He lies about his life
He doesn’t want to reveal too much about himself to you so he lies about himself. Where he lives, what he does, he lies about everything. He lies because he has a single agenda with you which is to satisfy his sexual desires.
3, He forces you to get an abortion
He doesn’t want to get a child from his mistress, so he would tell you to abort the pregnancy. He wouldn’t hide his reasons. And he will boldly tell you that having that child will break his home. This is a clear sign he has been using you.
The pros of dating a married man
1. You don’t have to commit
Already, you know he is married so definitely he has a wife. You won’t bother yourself getting him to be committed to you because for real, he doesn’t owe you any commitment. Rather, you just wait for him to have then pay you some cool cash, your life continues.
2. Married men are attentive and they go the extra mile in making you happy so you can also make them happy in the other room. They put you on a monthly salary, buy you exotic gifts and show you attention if they are sure that their secrets are with you.
The cons of dating a married man
1. He doesn’t get to spend time with you, especially when you need him close. If he doesn’t take you on a vacation where you both can just be alone, he will not have that time you crave because he has to also perform his duties as a husband.
2. You see a whole different person when you get to know him. Maybe you got attracted to him by the way he handled things, talked, and all but only for you to get to know him. And all you like about him wasn’t there in the first place, that can be disheartening.
3. Dating a married man will damage your reputation. People start seeing you as a homewrecker and a husband snatcher, you won’t be able to live with the guilt.
The truth is love is a beautiful thing but we have to mind who we love. Loving a married man is and will never be healthy, except you are ready to be a second option.
Even though you are yet to find love that you can boldly say is the only one in your life and vice-versa, you can make new friends that are interesting and can add great value to your life, this will make you wonder why you got yourself entangled with a married man.
Nevertheless, be happy, be strong and find the right way to get out of that situation of loving someone else’s husband.