How to leave a relationship when you are still in love? Leaving a relationship, especially when you are in love with the person, can be one of the most challenging things. But it can be the best decision for you to make.
To be able to let go when you still love the person; you have to realize that you deserve better. Staying in that relationship is going to put you through more hurt than you can imagine. You have to accept that they are not going to change. This way you can completely move on without looking back.
Knowing how to leave a relationship when you are still in love is one thing and knowing when to leave is another. If you can’t spot when to leave you are going to do yourself more harm. Below are some signs that show you should leave that relationship as soon as possible.
Signs you need to leave the relationship
1. When the relationship brings you more pain than joy
A relationship should bring you happiness. There are times when a relationship will be going through trials, maybe because of an issue with your partner.
If your relationship leaves you frustrated, upset, or unhappy this is a sign that you are not with the right person and you end the relationship.
2. When you are waiting for them to change
Sometimes your partner can be hurting you or doing things you don’t like and even after you talk to them, they still persist. Instead of you leaving, you will be thinking you have to be patient with them.
This can make you completely waste your time. If you are waiting for them to change it might not happen. let go of them immediately
3. When it becomes abusive
If they are either abusing physically, emotionally or verbally then it’s time to leave. Once they hit you, even when they try to make it up it’s a sign that they have some bad traits that you can’t handle. They are going to do it again.
If it looks like a mistake it is forgivable but no man should ever lay his hand of a woman. Emotional abuse can be sometimes overlooked but they are more deadly. If he says things that hurt you, it’s going to make you sad and depressed so the best thing is to leave such a person.
4. When you keep telling them how to treat you
If you are having to tell them to be calling or texting you then it shows your relationship is ending soon. You don’t have to tell people how best to treat you or make them do it. If they love you enough they will.
5. When he keeps doing the same thing repeatedly
Did they cheat and after apologizing they are doing it again? then it’s time you let go of them. Someond who values you will try as much as they can not to do anything that will hurt you
6. When you see life differently
Different life views & beliefs can cause a big problem in a relationship. If you don’t have a lot in common you are going to have a hard time leaving in peace.
7. When you no longer feel the same way for each other
Sometimes the love you have for them can just suddenly die. People change. It might be as a result of what they did or you just found someone that treats you better. So you will gradually fall out of love.
8. When it looks like you forcing things
Are you forcing the hanging outs, the calls, and the text, then it’s time to let off things
9. When you no longer feel happy with them
Your happiness is very important. If you are no longer happy then it’s time to leave.
10. When you are not getting what you need
It could be financial, emotional, or sexual needs. If they are not met then there is no need to be in that relationship. But before you quit you can try to talk things out first.
11. When you keep thinking about leaving
When the thought of leaving them keeps crossing your mind, it is because your heart is tired and can’t take it anymore. So if it keeps crossing your mind then it’s time to do it.
12. When they want you to change
You have been dating for some time and then suddenly they want you to change. For instance, your boyfriend knows you are not that kind of girl and might be wanting you to be all sexy-like Cardi B. And that will require changing your personality.
If you cannot do it or if it’s against your values you should quit.
How to leave a relationship when you are still in love
- Realize that you deserve better: when you think you are not being loved the way you ought to, it’s the right time to leave. The time you waste on the wrong people delays the right person from coming in.
- Accept it is for the best and that it will hurt: The pain of leaving will not last forever but it’s sure going to hurt. They have become a very important part of your life. Starting to live without them is going to make you feel void. You have to accept that leaving it’s for the best and it’s going to hurt. This will help you prepare yourself for whatever hurt you are going to face when you quit.
- Stop waiting for them to change: when you keep making up excuses and expect your partner to change because you still love them and can’t imagine your life without them, it’s going to be difficult for you to leave. So you have to stop yourself from wishing they change if you want to move on.
- Take some time off: Take some time off from everything. You might not be officially ending the relationship at this time, you can tell your partner that you need some space. This will help your heart to heal and gives you time to think about what you want
- Learn to let go: if you are in a relationship and want to leave, you have to teach yourself to let go. You can do what works for you in letting go of stuff that you love.
- Focus on yourself: make yourself better, focus on your happiness. If the relationship is not making you happy, focusing on yourself will help you realize that. If you have to quit and work on yourself for someone better to find you
- Accept that there is no going back: want to know how to leave a relationship when you are still in love? The best thing to do is to burn the bridge. If you completely make up your mind that there is no going back no matter what happens.
- Prepare yourself for it: you have to prepare yourself before you make the final step of leaving to avoid going back. If you don’t prepare yourself and go to talk with your partner, they might be able to talk you into not quitting. But when you have already prepared yourself for all of that then there is no going back.
- Seek professional help: you can seek the help of a therapist or a relationship counsellor. They can help you with tips on how to leave the relationship when you are in love.
- Don’t try to stay friends: Trying to stay friends after quitting can get you moving in circles. If you break up and stay friends you might go back to them and break up again then go back to them you can keep doing this till you realize you have wasted a lot of your time. So don’t even try to stay friends with them till you have completely moved on.
Ways to find the courage to leave
Trying to leave a relationship can put you in a state of confusion. You will be scared if you are about to do the right thing for not. To find the courage to leave, you have to check within yourself.
Your heart will never lie to you. You have to accept that it is not meant for you or you have not been treated the right way. Even if you are still in love with them but your heart does not feel at home with them, then it’s telling you to leave.
If you listen to your heart it’s going to give you the courage to let go.
Finding courage depends greatly on you accepting that you deserve better than what you are getting. This will give you the courage to leave them and get someone that would love you the right way.
What to say to end a relationship with the one you love
When you are breaking up with someone you love, you both are likely to be in a lot of pain. So try to say things that are as kind as possible.
You shouldn’t beat around the bush or try to dwell too much on things they did that are making you break up. It’s going to make them feel; if they change, you are going to forgive them.
You can also try to be open and truthful or try to make things look like it was all your fault you can say things like;
“I think we need to break up”
“I no longer want to continue our relationship”
“I don’t feel the same way about you as I used to”
“I don’t think our relationship is healthy for me I think we should break up”
“I no longer feel happy in our relationship and think we should break up”
How to deal with the aftermath of leaving someone you love
Getting over someone you love can be a very hard thing to do. You have to accept that it’s going to hurt you. If you try to act like you are not hurt, you are going to be living in denial and that will make it even hurt more and longer for you to get over.
Another way you can deal with getting over someone you love is by going out to make friends and focusing on yourself.
Focus on creating new experiences that will help you forget. You can also seek the help of a professional therapist if need be.
How to know your relationship is unhealthy (signs of an unhealthy relationship)
If your partner does not hold you in high regard is going to be dismissive of your opinions and even make fun of you. If your relationship is like this then it is unhealthy
2. Emotional/physical/verbal abuse:
Any relationship that involves emotional/physical or verbal abuse is not a good one.
3. Poor communication:
If you can not talk about your problems or even have an effective conversation or your partner does not even seem interested to talk to you then your relationship is not healthy
4. Lack of trust:
No relationship can stand without trust. If there is no trust you won’t believe anything they say. So what’s the point of being in a relationship if you don’t trust your partner?
When your partner lies to you, hurts you by putting his selfish interest first, that relationship is unhealthy.
When they are always trying to make you do stuff you don’t want to do or when things happen they always try to make you look like a bad person. That’s another sign.
7. Unnecessary Drama:
Do you always have something to disagree or have issues about? then your relationship is of no good.
If you are in a relationship are you still feeling lonely, then why are you in the relationship in the first place?
Why it’s hard to leave someone you love
When you try to leave someone you love, it’s usually hard for you. Because you fear being lonely again. You have a strong emotional attachment with them that makes you fear that when you end things you can’t live without them.
You guys have shared a lot. Which will make you wonder how you are going to start with someone new again.
Giving up on everything you have fought for even when it looks like there is no happy ending, it’s usually very hard. That is why we try to stick around a little, to see if things will get better.
At this point, you are also not sure if you are making the right or wrong decision. Like what if you regret it later. These are some of the reasons why leaving someone you love is hard.
Do I love him or I am just attached?
If he is treating you so badly and you know deep down that the relationship is no longer healthy for you. But you just can’t leave because you feel you are still very much in love with them. That might not be true.
When people start to hurt us, our love for them dies. But the reason why we can’t leave them it’s that emotional attachment that we feel for them.
All the moments we have shared with them, and how we have centred our lives around them. At that point, it feels like you can’t do without them. That’s not love, it’s just attachment and with time it’s going to wear off.
Is it possible for one to fall out of love?
Love may start to fade off slowly, when our partner begins to act differently or when we finally realize we were not really in love with them.
It could just be lust or infatuation that made us start a relationship with them thinking we were in love.
Difference between being in love and loving someone
When you are in love with someone, you feel a strong connection for them based on their looks and other physical things you find about them.
This strong feeling can fade with time especially when the person you love starts to act in ways you don’t like.
When you love someone, you don’t care about their looks or anything outward. It does not just happen suddenly like being in love. It’s something that takes time to develop.
That is the way it stays longer than being in love.
Getting over someone you love it’s not an easy decision. You have to be aware that it’s going to cause you a lot of pain, to detach yourself from all the memories you shared with them.
You, most importantly, also have to know that you deserve better and leaving that relationship is the only way you can find someone better.
Try to make new friends, work on yourself, go out and have fun. This will help you get through all the pains, leaving them will bring along.