Your first reaction to your man chatting with another could be rage, pain, and betrayal. You feel so jealous that you want to claw out his eyes. But you shouldn’t let these feelings out of the bag.
You need to be patient when handling this situation. Also, you need to have a conversation with your man. Find out from him what he’s doing with the other woman.
Be sure that he’s texting a woman who is threatening your marriage before you bring down the roof. In this article, we’ll explain what to do when your husband is texting another woman.
Why is my man messaging another lady?
This could happen for a variety of reasons. Most men can’t keep their pants closed no matter how beautiful or dedicated their wives are to them.
One reason a man could be texting another woman might be because of insecurity. A man who is insecure when it comes to his wife could begin to look outside for some sense of security.
He may have lost interest in you and does not know how to tell you. So he would rather talk to other women.
Some men are attention seekers. So when he is texting other women, it could mean that he is seeking attention.
Your sexual life might be lacking. This might be a reason your man might be chatting with another woman. He is not happy with his sexual life, so he is looking outside.
Your husband might also be trying to fill an empty vacuum by texting another woman.
Should I be worried if my partner is messaging another lady regularly?
If the reason your man is texting another woman is work or business-related, then you do not need to worry. Be concerned if the chat is shady or if he hides his phone while texting.
Be also concerned if he is always smiling or laughing more than usual. And also, if he would rather spend more time on his phone texting than spending time with you then you have a problem.
But, don’t let this make you fall into a mental crisis. Find someone to talk to about what you’ve discovered. You need to ensure that you do not allow the anger or disappointment to overwhelm you.
My husband hardly talks to me since he started chatting with another lady every day
When your hubby gets attention elsewhere, he’ll ignore you. When we get new and shiny toys, we tend to leave the old toys and focus on the new ones. This is the case here.
He will not talk much to you while he is focused on the new lady he is texting all the time. Your man would want to give her all his time and attention.
He has been overtaken by the charm of this new woman. At this point, he might not care about what you feel because of how this new lady treats him. A man who does this, especially when he is with you, might have little or no regard for you.
He definitely won’t be able to communicate with you well because of his new master. And as we all know, no one can serve two masters the same way.
You shouldn’t be shocked that he isn’t talking to you as he used to. His focus is somewhere else.
What to do when your husband is texting another woman?
When you discover your husband is messaging another lady, there might be nothing going on. But as a woman, it is normal to feel like something is amiss.
Do not assume he is cheating. To win in this situation, do the following:
Your hubby is not a mind reader and can’t know what’s going on in your mind. So when you see him texting another woman frequently, don’t begin to wonder who he is texting.
And the reason he is texting her. Ask him instead, communicating is the best way your relationship can succeed.
- Don’t jump to the conclusion
Try to ignore it at least until you have all the facts. When you can’t see who he is texting or who he is talking to, you don’t need to jump to conclusions or raise an alarm.
He might be communicating with no sinister intention. Wait till you can talk to him or have more facts.
- Don’t rush into accusing him of cheating
When your hubby is texting another lady, don’t be in a hurry to indict him of cheating. Doing so might push him into cheating. Ask him about his relationship with the woman and why he is always texting her.
- She might be his friend
You may just assume that she is his friend and nothing more. Doing so will ease your worry and it shows you trust him. So just assume she is a friend who loves your husband’s company and nothing more.
- Look for signs that prove that he is cheating
Before you serve him with the cheating charge, ensure you have facts. Check how he communicates with the lady and his character toward your marriage.
If you notice changes or he acts differently towards you. Then you can add one and one together. It could mean he is cheating.
But ensure you have facts before you indict him so you don’t cause problems in your marriage.
- Get a grip on your emotions
If you can’t get a grip on your emotions you can make mistakes. Don’t decide based on your emotions rather be very logical.
It will be super embarrassing when you falsely accuse him when you find out that your man wasn’t cheating.
What you should not do when you find out your man is chatting with another lady
Don’t accuse him of cheating until you have the facts. Don’t try to fight him. If you do this, you’ll escalate the situation.
Things will obviously not go the way you want them to if you fight him. You might lose a lot if you get physical with him.
Also, don’t go through his phone. Doing this signifies that you don’t trust him and this can lead to a lack of trust in your relationship.
If he doesn’t allow you access to his phone before this new development, you shouldn’t try to break in. But if he allows you access to his phone, it could mean he isn’t hiding anything.
Is it normal for my man to message another woman?
It is perfectly okay for your husband to text other women. The fact that he is married to you does not mean you should be the only one he can text. It is okay if they are just friends or co-workers.
If the messages are friendly and they talk about regular stuff like work, you have nothing to worry about. Exchanging messages with another woman shouldn’t steal your peace. Especially when he is doing it with respect for you and moderation.
It shouldn’t make you worry if he still treats you nicely and is not overcompensating.
Men have female friends for many reasons. Some stop chatting a lot with these friends when they get into a serious relationship. But some won’t stop because of how close they were to them.
Some women don’t allow their men to talk to them much or are always busy. This makes some men chat with other women just to kill boredom. As stated earlier, it is normal for a man to chat with a woman.
If you aren’t okay with it, talk to him about it. You might find out why it is normal for him.
Should my husband have a female friend?
Yes, it is okay for your husband to have a female friend. It is very healthy. And you as his wife should encourage him to have friends of both genders. You should remove jealousy and trust your husband not to go past boundaries.
Also, you could make friends with your husband’s female friends just to ensure you keep an eye on things. As long as they both respect the boundaries you set, there should not be an issue.
Your husband probably had friends before he met you, and you don’t expect him to cut off his friends now that he is with you. He needs these friends for his social capital and as a support system.
Remember that your husband doesn’t need to have a female friend to cheat on you. Just ensure your man respects the institution of marriage and respects you too.
Is my man chatting with another lady a form of micro-cheating?
Don’t assume your husband is micro-cheating based on hearsay. You need proof. You can only indict him of this when you find out that he is having emotional feelings for her but no sex involved.
Yes, texting can be a form of micro-cheating. Especially when there is a lot of friendliness and intimacy in their chat.
If your husband didn’t use to delete messages on his phone but now does so, it could be that he is micro-cheating. You should be observant to know if he has a different behavior when he is with his phone.
Microcheating can lead to the real deal. Talk to your man about this if you have proof. And if he isn’t willing to change, choose yourself.
Should I confront the other woman?
You might have tried to talk to your man about this woman he is texting always and he doesn’t want to stop. You might have told him that you don’t feel comfortable with what he is doing. And he always promises that he’ll change but hasn’t.
It could also be that your man has been silent and has neglected you. This can trigger you and make you decide to confront the other woman.
Confronting the other woman is bringing yourself down. You’re demeaning yourself and stooping to the other woman’s level.
Your focus should be on your man who is disrespecting you by continuously texting this woman. But if you confront her or talk to her at all, do it in a calm and gentle manner.
What should I say to the other woman my husband texts regularly?
You should not say anything to a woman who is texting your husband regularly. It might only be for work purposes. And when you tell her something mean or rude, you might cause problems for your husband at work.
But if you must talk to her you can tell her polite words like, “Leave my husband alone.” Tell her you would report her to her boss or HR in her company. You can also remind her that she is a woman like you and whatever she does to you would be done back to her.
How can I track the texts coming into my husband’s phone?
You can track your husband’s phone, or try to link his phone to yours. Get spy apps and other kinds of apps to track incoming texts.
You have to trust your husband to enable your relationship to work. You need to remove thoughts of cheating from your mind. And try to let your husband breathe.
Texting does not mean he is cheating on the other woman. They might only be platonic friends and nothing more.
And also, try to avoid checking your husband’s phone or monitoring his incoming text. You are only causing unnecessary tension for yourself and your marriage.
In a nutshell
No one desires to have their man texting another woman. It can make us worry needlessly and deprive us of the peace that comes with being married. As mentioned earlier, don’t allow rage to take over you.
Analyze the situation well. And find a way to communicate your grievances with your man.
By communicating with him, you’ll discover what your man feels about the whole situation. It will also make you know the next step to take.