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Is He Losing Interest or Just Stressed? 20+ Ways to Distinguish

Is He Losing Interest or Just Stressed? 20+ Ways to Distinguish

Concerned partners sometimes reach a point in their relationship where they are forced to ask themselves or others this question: Is he losing interest or just stressed? When a man starts to act emotionally detached from you, it is almost impossible to discern why is acting that way. At that point, it could be depressing and confusing for you on the receiving end. So now, how do you tell when a man is going through stress or losing interest in you?

A man can lose interest in a woman if he’s tired of the relationship he is in with her; this doesn’t happen all of a sudden, signs come before. A man can also only be stressed and still want to be with his woman.

If you are currently facing this dilemma, here are some things you should look at:


10 ways to know if he is losing interest or just stressed:

1. Has he been making plans without you? 

Your partner used to be the kind of guy that makes plans with you. But recently, you see that he is doing a lot of things that you are not aware of. He hangs out with his friends, but when you are there, it’s like he is ignoring you. If he makes plans and also goes with other people, then he is losing interest in you.

2. What is your gut telling you? 

Sometimes when things like this happen, our guts talk to us. We just shut it up; we don’t want to look like we are jumping to a conclusion. Is your gut telling you that he is stressed or losing interest? Listen to your guts.

3. Has he been coming up with unreasonable excuses? 

If your man now gives unreasonable excuses which aren’t one of the characteristics you’ve known him for, it could be that your man is slowly losing interest in you. If he is still into you, he won’t make up excuses just to make you turn the page.

4. Does he look like he is hiding something from you?

Do you try to get his phone and he snatches it from you? Has he been needing a lot of alone time? Has he been texting and smiling on his phone?  If he now smiles a lot when looking at his phone and denies you access to his phone, it could mean that he is gradually losing interest in you. But if he denies you access to his phone and still remains really moody, then your man could be stressed.

5. Is he acting distant towards just you?

Does he now avoid or ignore you? You should check if he is doing this to other people before you can tell if he is showing signs of disinterest or stress. If he has withdrawn himself from everyone, then he might be going through mental stress. But if he is still hanging out with other people, then it’s you he is trying to avoid.

6. Has he lost appetite?

Have you checked his eating habit and noticed changes, negative changes? If you are married, does he say he has no appetite, but when he comes home, he looks full? Then he might be losing interest. But if he is not eating and he is looking famished, then he might just be going through tough times.

7. Has he been indoors lately?

If your man has been indoors lately, won’t even come out from his room, if you are still asking the question is he losing interest or just stressed,” Your answer is obvious. This man is stressed and you should try to talk to him as soon as possible.

8. Has he been sleeping well?

When a man is stressed, especially from anxiety, it can affect their sleeping partner. If he is walking all over the house or has been staying up late, that’s a sign of a stressed man.

9. Sudden or gradual behavioral change?

Did this behavior happen suddenly or gradually? Was he a nice guy but suddenly turned mean? Or have you noticed a gradual change in his behavior? If it’s a sudden change, then it might be stress. If it has been happening and getting worse over time, then it is a sign of disinterest.

10. Has he been acting rude and defensive?

When a man has lost interest in you and he is even seeing someone already, when you try to talk to him, he will act defensively, to avoid the question. If he is stressed, he might not answer you, but he won’t be rude or defensive. He might be rude in cases of transferred aggression, but he will not be defensive.

12 Ways to know if he is losing interest and not stressed

1. He is no longer making plans with you: 

If he is not making plans with you, then he does not see you as part of his future and has lost interest in you.

2. You are not his priority: 

If you are dating someone, he is supposed to put you first. But if your man prefers to hang out with his friends than with you, then he is not into you.

3. He does not seem excited to see you: 

When you are with a lover, you are filled with an intense feeling of excitement. A man who meets you even after a long while and does not even look happy or excited is tired of you.

4. He avoids physical affection: 

You will know this, especially in public. If he used to be the kind of man that publicly displays his affection for you, but now avoids it even when you initiate the move, he is gradually losing interest in you.

5. Your gut is ministering to you:

Sometimes, our intuition could be our best friend and also provide us with the best form of guidance. He is going to do so many things that you might sweep under the carpet because you still love him. But if your gut is telling you he doesn’t love you anymore, then you should sit and think about it.

6. He picks on you: 

He looks for ways to instigate issues and when he succeeds, he might start using harsh words toward you. This man does not even care if he loses you anymore. Though men can do this when they are stressed, if it has happened for a longer period, then that’s a sign of disinterest.

7. He stops noticing the little things:

He no longer notices anything you do. Even if you get him a nice gift or get yourself a new sexy gown, this man does not even pay any attention to it. Though this can be a sign of a stressed man, if it has happened for a long time then that’s not stress, he is losing interest.

8. He ignores you:

Ignoring you can be a sign that he is stressed. But if he does not do the same to other people, then is no longer into you.

9. He doesn’t call or text first: 

When a man is tired of a relationship, he sees no need to text first. Even when you text him first, he doesn’t reply

10. He does not want to move forward:

This is one of the surest signs when a man is not into you. You have been dating him for a while, but he still prefers to introduce you as a friend to his friends and family or might not have even introduced you. He has lost interest or wasn’t even into you at first.

11. He spends less time with you: 

He is not interested in spending time with you. Even when he is with you, he acts like he is sitting on fire, he just wants to stand up and leave.

12. He is not supportive:

If he is not generous, he does not care about your career or your goals, then he has lost interest in you.

Signs of a stressed man:

1. Lack of sleep or too much sleep: 

When a man is stressed, he might have anxiety and start to panic. This will make him unable to sleep. Stress can also make a man feel unmotivated, when he feels this way, he just wants to sleep all day.

2. Isolation: 

This is why stress leads to depression. A stressed man will isolate himself from everyone. He will lose interest in every activity, even eating; he will just be indoors and begin to eat a lot.

3. Short memory: 

Have you been telling him things that he does not remember? That might be a sign that he is stressed. When a man is stressed, his mind can be in different places at once.

4. Unfocused: 

He will start to do things unorganized. He might just stand and be looking for his phone that is in his pocket. That’s a sign of stress

5. Easily angered: 

Stress can make a man temperamental especially when it’s related to his finances. If he is always moody and angry, it might mean he is going through tough times. 

6. Pacing around: 

This is how most men handle stress due to anxiety. He will start to walk around the house aimlessly.

What makes a man lose interest in a woman?

1. He has found someone better: 

When a man finds another woman he thinks is better than you, he will lose interest in you.

2. Clinginess: 

Attention is good but when it becomes too much, it can make a man tired of you. If you never give him space, he might make him lose interest in you.

3. Life has become stressful for him: 

Men go through a lot in life ranging from financial to emotional stress. When this happens, they can lose interest not just in you, but in a relationship.

4. It became boring: 

A relationship that becomes too easy or too predictable can become boring to a man and he might get tired. This is why it is advised to be mysterious and creative when you are in a relationship to add some spice.

5. He does not want to commit yet:

If you are a woman who wants commitment and you meet a man who is a player, he will lose interest in you when you start to talk about the commitment. He might not even be a player but he is not ready for a committed relationship yet.

How to help him recover from stress and be my side as usual

1. Help him realize that he is stressed: 

He can be stressed but does not know yet and he won’t even be able to process how he is feeling because of this. Talking to him about stress will help him realize that he is stressed. He might tell you exactly what is making him stressed.

2. Help him relax: 

Help him relax. You can tell him to breathe in or breathe out, then tell him everything is going to be alright. Let him know stressing over an issue will not sort it out.

3. Reassure him: 

Let him know that you are always going to be with him through this time of difficulty, don’t just say it out loud to practice.

4. Support him to seek help

Encourage him to go see a therapist, if possible you can go with him. 

5. Look after yourself:

It’s draining to look after a stressed person. You will need some time to regain yourself too. If you don’t, you might end up becoming stressed as well.

What to say to a man who is stressed?

1. “I will always be here for you.”

A stressed man needs reassurance. Tell him you want to be here for him, if he was feeling helpless or wanted someone to talk to, this will give him a boost and make him know he can talk to you.

2. “I am sorry you are under such pressure.” 

It might be something at work or anything. Telling him this will make him feel better and this might gradually pull him up from that low point.

3.  “How can I help?”

Tell him this if he needs your help he will tell you. 

4.  “You can do things.”

This is to encourage him to go through the difficulties. Let him know how strong he is.

5.   “Focus on one thing at a time.”

He may be trying to solve a lot of issues at once which might lead to stress. Help him focus on one thing at a time.

When a man is stressed, should I give him space?

Yes. The man is stressed and talking with him will not totally solve what he is stressing about, it will only make him feel better. So you can talk with him, but don’t try to choke him with attention. Give him space to process, and work through the problem.

How does stress affect relationships?

Stress can ruin a relationship especially when you try to bottle it up. If you are stressed and refuse to talk about it, this could send some negative signals to your partner who will try to get you to talk about it, but to no avail.

Your unstressed partner might begin to feel stressed and confused too. This can ruin the relationship. But if you talk to your partner about it, it may not affect your relationship negatively, it will just be like a challenge that you both have to face together and overcome. 

What to do when a man is losing interest?

1. Talk to him about it: 

If you feel he is losing interest in you, the only way you can know is by talking to him about it. This will let you know the next line of action. Tell him about his attitude and how it’s making you feel.

2. Move on: 

If you feel like he does not want to put any effort into changing, then it’s time to leave that relationship before it becomes even more toxic.

3. Focus on your self-worth 

When a man loses interest in you, it can feel like rejection and as well hurt your self-esteem. You have to tell yourself that you are beautiful, you are not worthless because all of these thoughts will be coming through your mind. Work on getting better at yourself. He losing interest in you, should be his loss and not yours.

Will he find interest in me again?

It depends on the reason he lost interest in the first place. If he lost interest because he became tired of you, he might not find interest again. Even if he is coming back, he may have bad intentions towards you. But if he lost interest because of life stress, he might find interest in you again when he solves that problem.


If you are wondering if this unfair treatment of detachment is a sign of disinterest or stress, I hope reading this article has been able to answer that for you. Perhaps a guy is not treating you as he should, you should give him space. If he values you, he will try to reach out. And if you try to force him, you will lose your worth. If he is ready to talk about it, then hear him out and by his words and actions, make a decision that you will be proud of tomorrow.

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