I went for a quick grocery shopping. While I shopped for what I needed, I met a longtime friend, and we exchanged pleasantries and also phone contacts. When I returned home, I didn’t get to see any text from him, so I wondered “Is he waiting for me to text him first?” I giggled while trying to fathom an answer. If you have been in this situation too, you might just be on the fence like me.
The thing is you cannot tell if he is waiting for you to text him first. Although some boys do wait for you to text them first because they are shy, some wait for the right time so as not to be seen a certain way while some in one way have misplaced your number by not properly storing it which makes them not call you.
10 top reasons why he would wait for your text
1. Lack of interest
One of the reasons he would wait for your text is because he may not have an interest in you. That is, he doesn’t regard you as more than a friend so he won’t bother himself to text.
Rather he will wait, if you don’t text, that means nothing good will come out of the meeting.
The fear of rejection will make him not text you first. He might have been rejected before and he is trying to prevent what he had encountered in his life earlier.
He doesn’t want to be ignored, rather he will wait so you can lead it where you want it to.
He is not texting you because he is proud. He doesn’t see you on his level, so texting you is like coming down to your level.
Proud guys do not get so excited texting you, they rather ignore
3. He wants to see if you are interested
For a while now, he has been the one texting you, and all of a sudden he takes the back seat.
He does it on purpose, so he can see if you are also interested in him. This is because he is getting the feeling that you are not into him like he is into you. He does this to see how you would react.
4. He has other options
When he has other options, he can spend all his time elsewhere. In this case, he waits for you to make an effort in texting him, if you don’t, he would be totally fine with that because he has other people he is chilling with.
If he is like this, it is high time you take your money to another market.
5. He listened to a piece of advice to make you wait
Most friends act as relationship advisers. They are like, “Guy chill, don’t text her now, she won’t reply to you, give her some time, if you do this, she will be all over you”
If he hasn’t texted then he might be a victim of this advice.
There is the lazy type and then there’s this guy. The type that overthinks it, will do his best to find topics that interest you and get your attention. He will think of it so much to the extent that whatever he had planned will look pointless that way, he will not text because he has given up.
7. He is just his way of handling things
He is passive, he’s used to other people getting things done for him. He’s not the one texting or pursuing women.
He’s that cool guy chilling at the corner who won’t leave his comfortable spot to come and talk to you.
8. He is confused about how you could be feeling about him
This is one of the reasons why men stop texting for a while and then start again. He doesn’t know how you feel about him, he could fear he’ll irritate you if he texts you, so he keeps his
Distance yourself and wait for your sign to let him know that you’re at least somewhat interested.
9. He doesn’t want to be annoying
One of the reasons why he has not texted you is because he feels annoyed. So he doesn’t text to avoid boring you or making you feel uncomfortable with his annoying vibes.
What it means if a guy doesn’t text you first
A guy not texting you first might mean so many things. It can mean that he doesn’t find you attractive; he doesn’t want to have anything to do with you, be it friendship or relationship.
It can also mean that he is emotionally unavailable or too self-absorbed. He also doesn’t see you as his type of girl so there’s no need to waste time trying to start a conversation through text.
This doesn’t mean you are not friendly or worthy, it’s just that he doesn’t get the flow he needs from you. It can also mean he is a shy type, he is poor at starting conversations with you.
What to do if he is not texting you
1. Give him a break
If he is not texting you, he is probably trying to pass a message across. Cut him some slack, don’t go overboard by texting him as if he is missing or dead. He is seeing those texts but he is refusing to reply to them for reasons best known to him.
Instead, be patient and wait for him to come out from that phase for he would give a reason why he ignored you and things would be back on track.
2. Don’t complain
Don’t complain when he is not texting you the way he usually does, there must be a reason for that. Flow with the situation at that moment.
Don’t be over demanding, there are other mild ways to go through when you are not getting enough of him, rather than complaining.
3. Give him a call
Texting frequently doesn’t give you feedback, especially when he is not returning them. Take a deep breath to relieve your ego then call him.
Most times, it is easier to say what you want to say through a call than on a message. You can also find out why he isn’t texting you when you call him.
4. Reaching out
Reach out to him by sending a normal message, not a message confronting him about why he has not texted. You rather a message asking about his all-around wellbeing.
This will give him a sense that you care about promoting your message. But if he doesn’t reply, it might just be a time to move on, you have tried.
5. Focus on yourself
Instead of you panting and wondering why he hasn’t texted you, you can use that same energy on yourself by doing the thing you have never done, you can hang out with friends to have the fun you have been depriving yourself of.
There’s more to life, don’t let a situation you had with a guy run you down from the happiness you deserve.
How to know he is waiting for you to text him first
1. He shows signs he is nervous around you
When you two hang out together, you can know when he is nervous and shy because he would act strange and uncomfortable.
This happens to most of us when we are around someone we like. I have been there, just that I was good at hiding mine. So you don’t get a text from him, he is waiting for you to text him first.
He likes you, he’s experiencing time with you, there’s a reason he’s not texting you, therefore he’s waiting for your texts.
2 He is a bad texter
Most men don’t talk too much of the natural language in which we women excel
That’s why most men don’t get the clues and get lost in those attempts to read between the lines. Sometimes they don’t even get the hint that they’re even supposed to read between the lines.
His being bad at texting could mean he doesn’t know what to text you, what theme to start, and how to even start texting with you.
Therefore he’ll be waiting for your generous, smart, and intelligent side to make the move and start discussions.
3. He is interested in you but he doesn’t have any clue
As I said before, men can’t read between the lines. When we tell them ‘’I love sunrises” they won’t get the hint that we’d like to stay a little longer to see the dawn with them.
They just won’t understand because their brain doesn’t work that way.
4. He likes and comments on your social medial handle
He does this to make you remember he still exists, then you might contact him. It is just to serve as a reminder to you. Commenting on your post does not require starting a conversation and putting himself on the spot.
5. He is not the kind that makes the first move
Some guys find it very difficult to make the first move. It can be due to shyness, uncertainties, intimidation or just plain stubbornness. They majorly would care to know if you would care to have them in your space first, before doing anything.
6. He is intimidated by you and you have noticed
He gets all shades of nervous when are around, sweats profusely and is literally in a state of confusion. Your beauty is beyond him and he just wants to have you.
7. He is not always online, except for the times you text him
Most people are not so enthralled by social media. They rather just call you up than text. In other words, the call now has to be for a very important reason. Although, if you text first, he most definitely will reply. But, texting is not his first thought for communication.
Have mercy on him…
8. He shows he likes you through is text
If he decides on texting you, he knows he will pour out all his feelings in it. So, he is scared of texting you because he does not want to overwhelm you with his feelings. If you text first, you will be in control of the line of conversation.
Why is he waiting for me to text him first?
Is he waiting for me to text him first? Why?
1. He is busy
A guy not texting you may simply mean he is really busy. He might be engaged in some activities that make him withdrawn from his social life.
If you notice he doesn’t post or comment on his social media handles, it is a clear sign he is as busy as a bee.
2. He might not know you like him
Some boys do not like concluding on how a girl feels about them so as not to get hurt. Even if you give him signs that you are into him, he might not buy it.
He might not also know you like him if you are always acting shy around him and on the other hand, he might have written a text for you and refused to press the send button, probably he is shy too.
3. He has other options
A guy can just see you as his acquaintance so he won’t bother to text you first or expect a text from you because he has other options.
He probably just gave you his number and collected your number to be seen as a gentleman not necessarily meaning he is into or interested in you.
This attitude might be hurting if you are in a relationship and your man isn’t texting you but you keep on seeing his posts and comments on other people’s timeline
4. He forgot
A guy can forget he had your number on his phone. That’s because he is busy as hell. He doesn’t have time to start distinguishing who he has and/ or has not called
A guy can just pick up his phone and have it in mind he wants to call you but after unlocking his phone, he gets caught on something else making him forget the actual intention of why he picked up his phone.
5. He is being scared
If a guy has faced multiple rejections in the past, he would be so scared to text you. He would always play previous events of his past and find it difficult to send a ‘hi’ message to you
So to avoid getting rejected for the umpteenth time, he would rather wait for you to text him first.
10 smart texting tips
1. Texting a guy just “Hi” is a no-no
To get a guy’s attention in a message box, disregard any word that would make it seem you were never ready for a chat. That’s a lazy kind of way to text in general.
In cases like this, you need to bring your creative mind. Send something that will get his attention, so he can reply to you in seconds.
The message can be “Hey handsome, I just wanted to know how you are doing, have been thinking of you.”
This doesn’t just attract him, this also makes him leave whatever he is doing just to see more of your texts by replying to you instantly, that’s you winning a jackpot.
2. Let him know you have a life
Guys do not like when a girl is too available. Let him know you have other things to do apart from you being his girl, make him miss you.
Being too available can make it seem you are jobless and this might turn him off. That doesn’t mean that if you are busy you won’t acknowledge his text.
If he sends you a message while you are busy, reply calmly and let him know you are not available. To grab his attention more, take a photo of whatever activity you might be doing. This way, he would regard you more.
3. Don’t text him again if he hasn’t responded to your previous text, Wait!
This tip is basically for everybody. It is inappropriate to send numerous texts without waiting for a reply.
This shows you just want to chat alone not minding if he responds or not. It reads a lot of negative words about your personality.
Do not text him again until he responds to the previous one. If he is taking forever to reply to your message and it is looking like he ghosted you, be calm and be patient, he might just be occupied with something.
4. Don’t use abbreviations
I know you want your response to be instant, making you short some words while you type. If you want to type “What have you been up to lately” then you shorten it as “Wat hv u bn up 2 lately” What stops you from completing the words.
Some abbreviations can be permitted like “LOL, don’t just overuse it, it makes one feel you are a child.
5. Be funny and witty
Psychology researchers found out that guys like ladies to be funny, especially at the beginning of the relationship. The best way to have a bond with a guy you are dating is through witty conversations. It is not every time a chat should be serious; let them also see the funny side of you.
6. Send a photo occasionally
You can communicate with your guy in other forms too, not just written or verbal. Communication can be done by sending a photo. When I say a photo, I don’t necessarily mean you should always send a photo of yourself.
Send a photo that could make his life and make his day a relief.
Don’t be the only one to send, you can always tell him to reciprocate, that’s a great way of engaging him and this can take the conversation to a whole new level.
7. Keep them short and interesting
If he is getting a long note to read as text, he might probably pass. A text is meant to be brief, not jam-packed with too many words so he can have time to read through and reply quickly.
They are not like Emails that require professionalism. Always keep them short and interesting, this way the interaction will flow and be enjoyable to both parties.
8. Talk about common interest
Having someone who shares your interest with you is amazing. You don’t have to disturb your head on what to talk about because you both know what to talk about and how to talk about it.
This is a sure way of getting him glued to the conversation. It can be music-related topics, politics, sports, or anything at all that interests you both, so your conversations can go through a new dimension.
When the conversation is always about the relationship it gets extremely boring and you both start going apart without knowing.
If you are still new to the relationship and you both are yet to have a common interest, you can find out what he likes and like it too, do the things he does and this will pave the way for a common interest.
9. Make him feel special
Make him feel he means more than what he thinks to you by doing what he would never expect you to do. Send him beautiful and romantic messages, buy him gifts, and pay his debts without him knowing it is you.
Showing him how much you love him goes a long way, let him know how often you are thinking about him, and so on. If he is on the same level with you romantically, he will appreciate your effort.
10. Flirt! Don’t be afraid
Getting a little sexually involved with him through text will certainly keep him interested. Having to flirt with your partner on text messages can just turn things up and light up.
Being flirtatious naturally comes when you are romantically involved with a guy, it would be all fun if it is taking two to tangle.
How long should you wait for a guy to text you?
The consensus is that you should wait around 2 to 3 days before texting him back. This will give him the idea that you are not intentionally waiting on him, that you are also making an effort going forward.
If you didn’t get any response from the first text then, you should text after 4 hours before giving a second text. Studies show that you are likely to get a response after hours. This makes it seem less disturbing and clingy.
After all, these efforts and you still don’t get any response from him, move on. Being ready to start a conversation is about timing, making every time count reasonably.
Is it ok to text him first?
If you like the guy in question, it is very ok to text him first, change the universal idea of a guy texting a lady first it is not a rule you must follow. Most guys will feel relieved and happy with that act and they will surely react positively to your text.
Any guy that reacts negatively to your gesture is certainly from the 50s and is yet to see life from the 21st-century point of view and it is very ok to stay away from those kinds of guys.
Just do it, if you have the urge to, regardless of what you think is the right way, there is no right way, texting first is not gender-based, it is not for a particular gender.
Are guys afraid to text first?
Hesitant guys may feel that you are too strong for their personality. In reality, they are intimidated or scared by your strong and known personality
This might make them text you first because they might not have the right words to use to express themselves.
Also, his insecurities could play in his mind which will hinder him from starting up a conversation. As a girl, don’t be shy or afraid to make the first move, pay attention to how he acts around you. If he shows you some green light, he might like you back.
Pros and cons of texting him first
1. You will show confidence and courage
Do you want to demonstrate that you are unique and different from other girls? You have to have confidence and be courageous to text him first. Have some social courage and don’t be afraid to state things.
This doesn’t mean you have to be all over and pushy, it will make you look weird, rather, let him know you are not afraid to text him. He won’t turn you down if you slide into his dm. Be bold to go for what you want.
2. You will get his attention
If you want to stand out from other prospective girls he texts, you have to be unique. The first message completely needs to ”force” him to text back. Show him that he has your attention
3. He will think you are desperate
Texting a guy first can make him think you are desperate to talk to him. He will see you as a low-class girl who doesn’t have value rather than looking for who to hook up to.
Even if you are chatting with him, he won’t give you the kind of response you want, he might even go as far as ignoring your messages.
4. He won’t have time for you
If you texted him first, pay attention to this. When you’re not sure about his feelings for you, the timing of his texting can tell you a lot.
You know he’s not too busy and he doesn’t want to just create time for you.
5. You will be unnecessarily jealous
He dismissed your text. So? That does not mean that the end is near. Guys are easy, if he doesn’t need to interact with you, he will show you that.
No text back. Today, the next few days, evermore. If it happens, remember you do not have business with him either!
Don’t text him like a million times ”Why are you not replying?” or related. Then you sure won’t get a text back. Maybe he forgot to text you, and the reason is he’s probably not into you
Don’t see texting a guy first as a big deal, it is not. I know the world has made it look like a man must text a lady first but that’s not a standby rule. Even if it were a rule to break that rule if you want to drop a text by hearing from a guy you like or you are friends with.
Don’t just text him so you won’t be leaving some other stones unturned, try to find out if you are the only one keeping the conversation going, you can just take a break so you won’t be taken for granted. Know when to stop texting.