When ladies say ‘my boyfriend doesn’t trust me,’ it means they are worried about their love life. It could also mean that they want to rebuild what was broken.
Trust means believing in someone, their ability, and having firm confidence in a person. Before you get into a relationship, you’ve to have faith in the person and hold on to the belief that this person won’t hurt you.
So before your boyfriend would lose trust in you, it means that you did something to make him doubt you. It could also signify that he never trusted you from the onset.
Trust is earned not bought. You’ve to show someone they can trust you through your actions, not only with words.
Reasons why your boyfriend doesn’t trust you
Somebody hurt him before
Most times, it is not you. You haven’t done anything wrong. Someone had hurt him before so he finds it difficult to trust others.
He is only being cautious with you to avoid being hurt again. So it’ll take baby steps for him to learn to love you. So his lack of confidence in you comes from his wounded feelings about his previous connections.
You might not have done anything wrong or you could be the perfect girlfriend. But he still finds it challenging to trust you because of previous heartbreaks.
Trust issues
Sometimes the problem might not be you. Your darling has a problem trusting people in general. And it doesn’t only apply to you, it can also affect his rapport with other people.
He has a reason not to trust you
When you break the trust of your friends or even family, it will be difficult for them to trust you again. So imagine giving him so many reasons not to totally believe you. You have tricked him into being cautious to avoid going through that pain again.
He knows you are not trustworthy
This could happen because your man knows about your behavior in your previous affair. Or he knows how you break the trust of other people. You might have told him about how you cheated in your past relationship.
You might have agreed to be with him when you were dating someone else. All this will make him insecure and maybe scared that you might do the actual thing to him.
He is suspicious
You might not have broken his trust yet, but he is scared you will. This could spring up because you are acting in a shady way or he saw something on your phone. Or he might have a feeling you are suppressing something.
He might have seen something unusual on your phone or in the way you are behaving. And he also may feel like you are fooling him. He is a suspicious person by nature.
He has reasons to worry
Sometimes, there might be no specific reason why he doesn’t have pure confidence in you. He might be worried that you will break his trust. And this lack of trust might be switched on by something or someone in his past.
He also knows that cheating is common in love affairs. He could be cheating and he is uneasy that you could be doing the same. So he is worried and projects his insecurity onto you.
He heard a tale about you
You know people talk. So maybe he heard something from a mutual friend about you. And it triggered his insecurities.
He may not be sure if this is true or how to confront you about it. But the rumor may be bad enough for him to lose his trust in you.
Insecurity
Insecurity is another major reason why people find it hard to trust. This insecurity has nothing to do with you.
He is not secure about himself. And as much he projects those insecurities towards you, it is difficult for him to trust you.
He feels you are out of his league
Your man may feel he is lucky to have you. He could feel you are too pretty or you are richer or more knowledgeable than him.
So all this might make him not trust you; he may feel you are cheating on him with someone better.
He saw his parents cheat
Most times, the home we grew up in usually tends to be the mirror of our life. So if your partner grew up in a home where he saw one or both of his parents cheat, he might find it difficult to trust you. This is because he saw lots of cheating while growing up.
How to react when a partner doesn’t trust you
When your partner doesn’t depend on you, don’t try to rush him. Stand by his side and let him know you won’t betray him even if others have before.
It may take time, and it may take effort, but try to remain calm and not fight him over time you can still gain his trust. When you know he has zero confidence in you and it is not because of any fault of yours, you need to be calm.
Show him you are trustworthy and that you would not do anything to hurt him. Trying to force him to love you or creating drama so he can trust you would only drive him further apart. Be patient with him, allow him to work on his issues, and be calm in the brewing storm.
If you’ve defrauded your boyfriend before, you have to be patient and give him all the time. He needs you to earn back his trust and this will take a lot of time and effort.
I haven’t done anything to my boyfriend and he doesn’t trust me still
Suspicion and mistrust come in various forms. You may not have done anything but he still doesn’t trust you. This could be because he is cheating or he sees how other people behave in their relationships.
And this can lead to mistrust. His preconceptions are not your problem. There is really nothing you can do because he was already like that before he started dating you.
You can’t fix him unless he wants to be fixed. And he may be a really good person to you, except when it comes to his insecurities and trust issues. So there is nothing much you can do than to try and be patient with him.
A relationship cannot last without trust
A relationship that is built without trust cannot and will not work. Lack of trust breeds lots of issues. Trust is one of the pillars of any affair.
You can hardly find any building that is standing without pillars. Some buildings have many pillars to make them stand. Trust, love, discipline, patience, and hard work are some of the pillars of a relationship.
Once trust is gone, the other pillars will be affected. This is because trust is the pillar other pillars are depending on for strength.
Without trust, your affair cannot be at peace nor can you be comfortable with your partner. Without this pillar, your connection will lack resilience and will be fragile.
If you don’t have confidence in your partner, you cannot respect him, and without respect, your affair is of no use.
Can he love me without trusting me?
It is very difficult for someone to love you without trusting you. There is no tight bond without trust. When you don’t have pure confidence in your partner, you’ll find it difficult to believe anything they say.
So when he tells you he loves you but he doubts his confidence in you, you shouldn’t believe him. This is because love and trust work hand in hand, you can’t love someone you can’t trust or you don’t trust.
Should I remain with someone who doesn’t trust me completely?
Trust is the spine of any love affair. When you trust someone completely, you can be vulnerable with that person. It allows you to be yourself, and be happy.
But when you choose to stay in this bond without trust, you are creating room for you to get hurt and heartbreak. In an affair where there is no trust, the chances of it working out are very low. So staying with someone who doesn’t trust you completely is not advisable.
Is it a red flag when my partner has trust issues?
Do you get the feeling like your partner is not telling you the truth? or you are suspicious of everything your partner does or you can’t believe anything they say?
Then yes, it is a red flag that you should take very seriously. Especially when you know that your partner has a hard time telling you the truth.
Red flags shouldn’t be swept under the mat, especially early on in the love affair. Once you notice that he’s accusing you of things you didn’t do because he has trust issues, look for solutions.
Ways you can fix trust issues in a relationship
When the trust in a bond is broken, there are some sincere ways you can try to fix them.
Think about what you did, why you did it, and if you would do it again. All these are what you should consider before you begin to rebuild the trust that is broken in your love affair.
Communication is the key to any successful relationship. So when you reach a steep slope where you begin to feel there is no trust.
You can try and communicate with your partner sincerely. Try to look for honest ways to resolve your issues and reassure each other.
Forgiveness is crucial too. So when you establish that your partner broke your trust, you need to forgive. Do this to rebuild the trust you lost in your relationship.
Don’t focus on the past. If you focus on the past, you cannot rebuild the trust in your union. You’ve to totally let go of the past and focus on your future.
Give your partner all the time they need to trust you again. And also you need to be willing to be patient with them and give them the time to earn back your trust.
How to make your boyfriend trust you
Trust is earned, not something that happens overnight. You’ve to let your man know he can trust you and that his faith in you is not blind.
Respect is one way you can get your partner to trust you. Mutual respect is one way for your partner to trust you. Treat your partner with respect, listen to their needs, and treat him with care.
Set boundaries. When your boyfriend has his personal boundaries, respecting them is one way you can get him to trust you.
When you’ve questions or you desire to do something, talk to your boyfriend about it. Don’t go about sneaking or hiding things from your boyfriend.
Be open and transparent with him. Transparency is the key to trust in any relationship.
You need to learn to be vulnerable with him. Be honest with him, let him see all of you. No hidden side or back door secrecy. Allow him in on even the smallest details about you.
In a nutshell
Trust is a two-way thing and it is reciprocal. When you don’t have undiluted confidence in your partner, you don’t expect him to trust you too.
Trust is one of the most crucial elements in any romantic partnership. And when it is broken, it might be hard to get back. So you have to ensure that you don’t let it get broken because trust is also very fragile and can easily be broken.
Trust is earned, not given. So you’ve to prove to your partner that you are trustworthy and that he can believe in you. Trust is the backbone and the foundation of any relationship. For your love life to stand a chance to work you have to trust each other completely.
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