A lot of women are currently in a situation where they have to say to their selves or even to others: My boyfriend never wants to do anything. Is your boyfriend making you feel as if you are just one of the guys? Do you sometimes feel like he is taking you for granted and he never tries to do anything special for you? It is okay for him to feel comfortable around you but not too comfortable that he does not do anything nice or special for you.
When you say ‘My boyfriend never wants to do anything’, you’ve to dig into the reasons why he is like that. Some of the reasons he never wants to do anything include: He’s naturally selfish, your interests and needs differ, he is just lazy, he is feeling too much pressure, etc.
Below, the reasons why your boyfriend does nothing for you will be discussed.
My boyfriend never wants to do anything for you: 15 Reasons why
1. You do not satisfy his needs:
If your boyfriend feels like his needs are not being met by you, he may just choose not to do anything for you or around you. It is easy to forget that one man also has emotional needs, just because he doesn’t complain or he is calm about it does not mean he doesn’t notice.
2. You are always with him:
It is almost impossible to do anything for someone who is always around him, there is no time to think of anything special or even execute it. So, it is okay for you to give your boyfriend a little space and see what he would come up with.
3. He is no longer interested in you:
Your man may not be doing anything for you anymore because he lost interest in you a long time ago but can’t tell you, and that’s because he is scared of hurting your feelings.
4. He is naturally selfish:
Selfishness is another reason why your man may not be doing anything special for you. You keep giving and giving, and yet, he keeps accepting without reciprocating even though he has the funds to do so, then it may simply mean he is just selfish.
5. He is unemployed:
Another reason why your man may not be doing anything for you may be because he is going through a difficult time. So if your man is unemployed, you need to understand him and try to see things from his point of view.
6. He doesn’t know what you want:
Your boyfriend might not be doing anything for you not because he doesn’t want to but because he doesn’t even know what you want. So, you can try to sometimes communicate your needs properly to him.
7. You are stressing him:
Sometimes you may act like his mom and keep putting pressure on him to do more, and this might just drive him off the edge and he may just decide not to do anything at all.
8. Your interests and needs differ:
It might be difficult for your man to do something for you when you both have different interests. If you are with someone you have different interests from, it might be difficult to do something for them.
9. He is just lazy:
Laziness could also be a factor. Your man may just be lazy and unmotivated. He feels too comfortable around you and thinks that you would never leave, so he doesn’t bother to put in the work anymore. Another way to get him to do something for you is to try and motivate him as best as possible.
10. You don’t appreciate his gestures:
Another reason why your man may not bother to do anything anymore is that he feels unappreciated. You need to learn how to notice the small things he does and appreciate them.
11. There is somebody else:
It could be that your man is spending his energy and money on somebody else. And that is inexcusable. You should think long and hard if you want such a person around you.
12. He doesn’t feel like you are worth it:
Your man may no longer see anything special in you, you guys have been together for so long and the spark is no longer there, so he is always reluctant to do anything special or worthy for you.
13. The pressure is too much on him:
Most times, men tend to go through the most and you don’t see it on their faces, or even hear them complaining. He may be going through a lot workwise or even personally, so you just try to find out from him the reason for such behavior.
14. The feelings are one-sided:
Another reason your man may not be doing anything for you may be because he never liked you and the feelings have always been one-sided. If you did all the chasing and you keep smothering him with attention, he may not feel the need to step up and do anything special for you.
15. Lack of communication:
Your man may see you as an independent woman, he may not see the need to always help you out or try to do anything for you. This why is communication is key. With proper communication, you can try to let him know how his actions are hurting you and try to make him see the error of his ways.
My Boyfriend Never Wants to Do Anything: A Red Flag?
Having a boyfriend who doesn’t want to do anything is a red flag because a man who is unwilling and unmoved to do anything for you while you guys are dating might not do anything for you when you guys finally get married. Laziness in a man is not something you should ignore except you are willing to carry all the burden when you guys finally settle down.
My Boyfriend Never Wants to Do Anything: Is He Useless?
Your boyfriend’s reluctance to do anything doesn’t necessarily mean he is useless, it could just mean that he is unmotivated, or those not see the need to do anything for you. So calling a lazy boyfriend ‘useless’ is not right, you may not be the right person to get him to get up and make something of himself. So when he finds the motivation he needs, you may be surprised at what he can willingly do.
What to do when my boyfriend never wants to do anything?
When your boyfriend doesn’t want to do anything, there are a few things you can try to do to help get to the root of the problem.
1. Communicate:
Nothing beats honest conversation, so try communicating with your boyfriend. Try to ask him what is going on, get him to open up to you. Try talking to him calmly and rationally, don’t go about fighting or trying to force him to talk to you, just communicate with him.
2. Understand his reasons:
Try to understand your man, don’t try to rationalize or brush his feelings aside, see things from his point of view and try to understand the reason why he doesn’t want to do anything. Who knows, seeing things from his point of view can make you understand him better.
3. Try a new adventure with him:
Spice things up by trying out new things together. It might just be simple things like trying out new restaurants or clubs together.
4. Be patient with him:
When your boyfriend doesn’t want to do anything, you can try being patient with him, be as calm as possible. Don’t go about shouting or forcing him to do things he may not want to do. In as much as you need to let him know there is a problem, you don’t have to go about it aggressively. You can be calm and still get your point across.
5. Acceptance:
Sometimes, accepting the situation is the only way you can move forward. This is because trying to change a man is just a losing game. So if you love him and want to be with him it is best to accept what you cannot change.
6. Be truthful to yourself:
If you have a boyfriend who doesn’t do anything, you need to try honesty. You need to be honest with yourself and ask yourself if you are just settling and if at the end of the day he is worth it. You need to know your worth and hold yourself in high esteem.
7. Break up:
No matter how much you love him, breaking up with him might just be the solution to his laziness or his lack of interest in anything. Breaking up might be difficult but sometimes it might be the only solution, especially if you have reached your breaking point and can no longer stand him anymore.
How do I get my boyfriend to take initiative?
If your boyfriend doesn’t like to do anything there are reasons for this, he may be feeling unmotivated or going through mental stress, so it’s up to you to try and motivate him. Let him know he can do anything he puts his mind to. And the same time, you can also take the lead and try to lead by example, if he doesn’t plan dates or he doesn’t care to do anything romantic for you, you can plan this thing for both of you, after all, no rule says a man must be the one to initiate dates or romantic weekends. Also, try holding your man accountable for his actions. Do not let him get away with doing anything because if you let him get away with doing nothing, he will never stop.
Should I jettison a relationship in which my boyfriend never wants to do anything?
Staying with a boyfriend who doesn’t want to do anything can be extremely stressful, it is like pouring water inside a basket because after all the hard you put in you may end up not seeing anything in return. Before you decide to leave your boyfriend who doesn’t do anything, you should try and have a conversation with him, and see if he is willing to change and keep you. If he is not willing to change, your best bet is to leave the relationship before it gets too late. Trying to get him to do anything will be 24/7 work, spending time you don’t have to try to motivate someone who isn’t motivated, such a guy may drain you out.
How long should I remain in such a relationship?
How long you should stay with a boyfriend who doesn’t do anything depends on you. If you are happy being with such a person and the fact that he doesn’t do anything does not bother you, then you should remain in the relationship for as long as you are happy. But if the fact that he is not doing anything is taking a toll on you, then you should leave the relationship, as fast as you can. Staying in a relationship where you are not happy can cause you a mental breakdown. You have to think of yourself and your personal growth for you to be able to determine how long you can last in such a relationship. At the end of the day, nobody can tell you how long you can stay in such a relationship. It is up to you to know how much more you can handle.
Final Note:
Relationships are never easy, so you have to be in a relationship with someone who can make your life a whole lot easier. Staying with someone who doesn’t do anything can be stressful and tiring. Know your self-worth and never stick with anyone who doesn’t see the true value of you, a person who doesn’t want to do anything to make your life easier does not see your worth.
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