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Needs List That Every Happy Relationship Works With

Needs List That Every Happy Relationship Works With

We all have various needs because we are different individuals. So you have your own needs different from that of your partner. And to enable you to meet their relationship needs list, you have to identify them and communicate with your partner.

We should understand that to make a love affair work, we have to put in the work. And this work has to be done by both parties. It might not be equally shared but both parties must work to keep their love.

It is the same for every other relationship we are in. If you look at your family, you’ll see that there are needs that people expect from you. And also, needs you expect from the family in return.

At your job, there are needs that your employer requires from you. And there are also needs that you require from your employer.

This model is what works in a relationship. A relationship will test you. When you are in a love affair, you will be assigned different tests. And meeting the needs of your partner is one of them.

A relationship needs list differs from person to person, but most lists contain love, respect, and contentment.

In this article, you will find out what a great relationship needs list is. And how to inculcate them so that you can have a better relationship with your man.

How to meet relationship needs

In every happy love affair out there, the characters involved work hard to make happiness a goal. The desires of each person in the bond are deliberately met to cultivate peace.

The opposite is the case for unhappy relationships. These desires are not met and efforts are not made to see that they turn a new leaf.

We have to understand that a love affair is all about giving and taking. You might not be able to give because you haven’t deciphered what your man’s desires currently are.

Even if you did in the past, you have no idea if they have changed. So to turn a new leaf, learn what your partner’s needs are.

The initial step to take in understanding your partner’s needs is to ask them what their needs are. And by paying attention to the things they like. Try to recollect the previous things they complained about and why they did so.

When you decipher what your other half needs, the next thing you must do is decipher how to execute them. If your partner likes something and you don’t know how to execute or meet this need, do research. Search the internet or ask around and ensure their needs are met.

You might also have a fair idea of what your partner’s needs are but because he is maturing. It could be that his needs are also changing.

This is why as couples, when you guys grow together, you both must ensure that you update your man’s needs list. He should also update his too.

When you have this on lock, you need to then be deliberate about meeting your lover’s needs. Do that with joy and happiness, not anger and irritation. And you will see that your relationship will flourish.

How to know and communicate relationship needs to your partner

The initial step to knowing your needs is communication. Have open-ended communication and tell your other half what is on your mind. If you don’t tell your spouse what you are thinking how would they know, after all, your partner is not a mind reader

Also, to decipher your partner’s needs, you need deep introspection. You need to peer deep into your heart to answer questions like ‘What do I need in a love affair? Are your desires being met?’

And when you can identify your needs, you would be able to communicate them to your partner.

Find the right time or place with an effective method to communicate it to your other half. And ensure that after you identify them, you direct them to him without distraction.

You need to look for the appropriate time too. Because if you approach your partner when he is too tired or hungry, you won’t have their full attention. And he may not fathom what you mean.

Relationship needs list

Self-esteem needs

In a love affair, self-esteem is one of the basic needs that can affect your relationship. It affects your relationship the same way it affects that of your partner.

When you feel bad about yourself or you have insecurity, it can pop up later. And it will affect your relationship.


In order for your love affair to work, you must have both feet firm in it. Being loved and respected won’t put you in any constant race to prove yourself. Or even have the fear that you are being judged.

You won’t get scared when you make mistakes or have bad days.

This is a vital desire that should be met in order for your love affair to work.

Physical need:

In a love affair, your physical wishes might stretch into various things. They might include touching, hugging, and hand-holding.

Also, you need to be able to communicate non-verbally. All these let you know you are loved even without a word being said.

Emotional needs:

For your emotional wishes to be fulfilled in your love affair, you must have empathy. Not only that, trust, connection, appreciation, and prioritization are important.

Core needs in a relationship

In a love affair, you need a few basic things and a lot of effort for it to work out.


Affection is a vital part of your relationship. You need affection to help you bond with your partner, and it increases closeness. Their types of affection include physical touch, sexual intimacy, and loving words.


This is another core need in every relationship. An ingrained belief that your darling accepts you for who you are can help boost your confidence. And helps create a firm bond. This acceptance can stretch to include a bond with their loved ones.


In every love affair, when you don’t feel secure, the affair can’t work out. In every healthy relationship, there must be a sense of security. And you must understand that it is safe to share your thoughts and feelings.

You know your boundaries as expected. And you are safe in the fact that they believe in you and your choices.

Without trust, there is no security

This is because it is very difficult to feel shielded and secure in the hands of somebody you don’t trust. When someone trusts you and also looks out for your best interest, you’ll be happy. And also want to be with them.

But you have to realize that trust doesn’t happen overnight. So you need to cultivate it and understand it is a two-way thing.

You have to be empathic to your other half

This means you have to understand how your partner feels. And you need to be able to read their feelings to consider their own side. Doing this will aid you in putting their feelings into consideration.

A happy woman posing with with a peace sign.

What a woman needs in a love affair

Women’s needs in love affairs are very easy, but also intricate. And at the end of the day, their needs might feel complicated also.

She desires to feel loved

Achieving this feeling makes a woman relaxed and happy and can open up. When she is loved properly, the sex is better and the arguments are nonexistent. Both parties tend to enjoy the relationship when this desire is met.

A woman loved correctly will bring gold out of the rubble. She will go the extra mile for her lover and ensure he is happy too.

A woman yearns for safety

Security is one thing all women crave, she desires that feeling of safety. Your baby wants to be able to trust your strength and to know you are always there for her no matter what.

This lady of yours wants to know you will not judge her matter what. And that she can create a safe place for herself with you.

Ladies want to be seen

Most times women feel invisible. So when she is in a love affair, she desires to know she is not invisible. And that you can see them, hear them, and understand their emotional needs also.


Let your woman know that you love her. Show the queen of your heart that you appreciate her and that you value her opinion.

Let her know you see all she is doing and that you appreciate what she brings to your life. The easiest way to end your relationship is by taking your other half for granted.

What a man needs in a relationship

Men do not need too much, unlike women, their needs can be pretty clear and simple. They want:


Men want to feel respected. They value respect a lot. And they don’t want you to tell them off or demean them in public or in private. They like their women to respect them and treat them as such.


Most men place honesty as a top priority in their love affair. They want partners who they can trust and who can be sincere with them at any given time.


Men also do not like to be manipulated or controlled in their relationships. They want women who can give them space to be themselves and not try to manipulate them to do their bidding.

A confident lady

A secure fellow and a confident one are also what men need from their love affair. They do not desire women who are not confident in themself or who let their insecurities hold them back.

What a man needs might also vary. Some men have imbibed or internalized needs that society or friends say they should have.

Some men want a strong, independent damsel to build with. They desire that their other half be innovative. Also strong, assertive, and have many other leadership qualities.

They seek this because they believe they won’t always be there for their wives or lovers. And when they aren’t there, their partners are able to take charge and put things under control.

Some men also have a different list from the one given above. What they seek in a woman is satisfaction. They only see a woman as a vessel of satisfaction. They believe that women were created or born to meet their selfish needs.

So, your man’s needs might be different from another man’s needs. It all boils down to the kind of education, training, and orientation that your man has. His religion might also determine what would be on his needs list.

Long-distance relationship needs

Being in a long-distance relationship is super challenging. So imagine when the needs of one person or both people in the love affair are not being met.

In this special type of love affair, calling first after the sun rises and the last thing at night is vital. You need to have a clear idea of what your partner’s plans for the day are and how their day went.

Try to meet in person regularly if it is possible. Schedule meet-ups and surprise meetings too. It might be hard due to the distance, but you have to try.

Always ask about each other’s feelings, and show your card that you are concerned. This shows your willingness to be there even though you can’t, and ask questions about how you can support them.

Always have in mind that you might need to go on emergency visits. You have to put this as an important need in a long-distance relationship. Because they need to be super sure that they can count on you.

How to ensure your partner knows your needs in a long-distance relationship

You need to be able to communicate and tell your heart-throb what you need. This is imperative for this special type of love affair to work. You guys need to be able to agree on how many times a day you will talk, and how much you can navigate the distance.

Also for your needs to be effectively met, you need to be willing to maintain your independence. Because your other half is far away does not mean you have to be in limbo also.

Ensure you stick to your meeting time. And when you can’t stick to the time ensure you inform your sweetheart beforehand.

You both can talk through different means in our ever-evolving world. Harness the power of social media. You guys should look for the best means of communication.

That will be the channel for which you guys will communicate more. And be more comfortable saying whatever you want to say to yourselves.

You can push them a text about your needs list, send them a video about it, or even send a voice note about it. Take advantage of all these different mediums to get your needs list across to your man.

Can basic needs in a love affair differ from person to person?

Every individual has a different personality and desires. A person might stick with chocolate and never with alcohol and vice versa. So also in a love affair, everybody’s needs differ.

Some might value words of affirmation as their love language. While some like expensive gifts.

Understanding that needs are different will help you know how to study your partner more. Not only that, it will help you understand better what he wants from you.

Don’t pick someone else’s relationship needs list and believe your other half has exactly the same. You would still need to tweak a lot in that list. You should know your man better than anyone else. Put in the work and get it done.

Can the core change with time?

Every day as humans we grow and learn new things. So as we develop every day our needs might change. In the process of learning, we discover that some of the things we value aren’t worth it. So yes, core needs can change over time.

As we mature, we want different things. Our perspective about life changes and we set about to see things clearer. As we achieve more wins in life, our needs also change. These needs never always remain the same. They change as we change.

What happens if needs aren’t being met in a love affair?

Expect unresolved tension and stress. It leads to exhaustion, and most times this leads to couples wanting to spend more time apart. And it pushes both of you to the brink of your relationship.

When a relationship needs list is neglected, the love affair might become an unhappy one for both parties. It might make the relationship quite unbearable. And your partner might see you as a selfish being.

A partner might begin to believe that you don’t rate them when you neglect their relationship needs list. Especially when they have explained the content of the list to you many times. It might also make them begin to doubt themselves.

They might believe they can’t get someone who will respect them and meet those desires. This can put the relationship in a very bad place. Even if the partner whose needs aren’t made doesn’t mention them or complain, expect an outburst soon.

Should I leave if my needs aren’t met?

When your relationship needs list isn’t met, it is not enough reason to leave your relationship. It means that you and your other half have a lot of work to do and you both need to learn from each other’s emotional needs.

If your spouse is willing to put in the work, then you should stay and fight for your love affair. But if he isn’t, be ready to take a walk for your own good.

It all depends on how badly both of you want the relationship to work. It depends on how much each party is ready to compromise and learn.

As adults, we need to learn and unlearn some habits. If efforts aren’t made to learn how to fulfill what is on a relationship needs list, things might go south.


A relationship needs list has been broken down in this article. And you must understand that having your desires met can be super challenging if you have no idea what they are.

So you need to identify your needs and learn how to pass them across to your darling to enable the love affair to work. A relationship does not take just one person. It takes two people who should be willing to put in the work for the love affair to flourish.

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