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22 Best Ways to Respond to An Ex Asking How You Are

22 Best Ways to Respond to An Ex Asking How You Are

Whoa! Your ex just messaged you out of the blue but how to respond to an ex asking how you are is a big dilemma for you. Responding to a “how are you” text or conversation from an ex, can be a bit confusing. You wouldn’t know the right or wrong thing to say.

If you want to learn how to respond to an ex asking how you are, the first thing you should keep in mind is that you should never pour out your heart to him. A simple “I am fine and how are you”? Would be okay. Or you can just ignore, or ask them never to text you.

In this article, I would share with you 22 ways you can respond to a “how are you” text, from an ex, depending on your situation.


How to respond to an ex asking how you are 

1. “What’s up?”

Did he just message you out of the blue? This is a great response for them. It will help you change the subject, so they will be the ones doing the talking, and telling you the reasons why they texted you.

2. “I am fine and you?”

If you are wondering how to respond to an ex asking how you are, this is one quick one you can use. Especially if you guys are on talking terms but don’t text all the time.

3. “Why?”

If things ended badly with you too, and you are wondering how to respond to an ex asking how you are, after they hurt you, asking them why is one way to leave them with the ball in their court. Like why are you asking me how I am, after hurting me?

4. “Fine, thank you.”

You can use this when you don’t want the conversation to continue, and you don’t want to ignore them.

5. “I am fantastic, thanks for asking.”

If maybe they cheated or made things crash between you two, this is a clever way to tell them that you are doing great without them.

6. Use emoticons or stickers

Emoticons and stickers are there to help you say how you feel, without actually saying them. So, you can choose the one that best describes your mood, and send it to them.

7. Ignore 

If you are thinking about how to respond to an ex asking how you are? Maybe you should not respond at all. You should just ignore it, depending on your situation.

8. “What made you think of me today?” 

Did they cut contact for a very long time and suddenly text you? Then, this is the perfect response for them. Like why today? After staying this long without contacting me? That’s what this text would be asking them.

9. “I am living my best life. How about you?”

You are letting him know you are happy with the way you are. So, if he is thinking of coming back, he should forget about it.

10. “Hey, I was about to text you. your thoughts just crossed my mind?”

Well, if you guys dated and separated on good terms, it is normal for their thoughts to cross your mind. Or maybe you still miss them, or you are contemplating fixing things back. If you are sending them this, you should be prepared to tell them, what about them crossed your mind.

11. “This is unexpected!”

They are texting you for the first time in a while and want to know how you are, so it’s normal for you to be surprised. 

You can send them this, to show them you are shocked to see their text or call.

12.  “I have never been this happy.”

This is like saying I am fine without you, I am glad you left and have moved on. It’s kind of mean but if that’s how you feel, you can let them know. If you don’t want to appear like you hate them, or still hold grudges, you should not send this.

13. “I’m fine but please stop texting me.”

This is direct you don’t text you. You are glad they ask how you are, but you would appreciate it if they don’t text you anymore. If they send any text after this, you can ignore it, if you wish.

14. “I am getting married next week.”

With this, you are trying to chase him away if he gets the point, he will go away. But this can make him more inquisitive and try to find out, how true it is.

15. “ I have moved on.”

This is like the previous one. Is like telling him I want nothing to do with you anymore. I have moved on with my life.

16. “Block them.”

If you want to end things properly and stop him from texting you, this is the best way.

17. “Good, what’s up with you?”

This is great to make him do the talking instead of you. A simple good. and he will be the one talking.

18. “Hi, I am good. We have so much catching up to do.”

Has it been a while since you guys talked? And you have a lot to tell them? This is the perfect one.

19. “None of your business.”

This is mean, but it is straight to the point. They are no longer in your life, you don’t feel they need to know anything that is going on in your life.

20. “Why do you care?” Do you want to finish off where you stopped?”

Did he hurt you and left? Then came back asking how you are? Knowing fully well you must still be hurt? You should send him this: why do you care? Do you want to know if you can come back and do more damage?

21. How’s your new girlfriend/boyfriend 

Did they leave you for someone, or do you want to know if they are dating someone now? You can send them this.

22. “ I am still alive.”

This is simple and direct. Why are you texting me after hurting me? Do you want to know if I committed suicide? Or hurt myself? So, you send this ‘don’t worry I am fine, I am still alive’.

What to say when your ex asks how you are 

If you are wondering what to say to an ex asking how you are, you should know that you are not obliged to reply to a text from your ex.

If you don’t want to say anything, you can just leave the message or just simply block him. But if you want to, don’t pour out your heart in a text. You can simply say I am fine, don’t text me again. 

How NOT to respond to an ex asking how you are

When your ex is asking how you are, it will be very wrong to reply with an angry outburst of emotions. Even if you are hurt, it would be better to just ignore them, than to start raining insults on them. 

Why your ex came out of the blues and messaged you with “how are you?”

1. They miss you

It’s normal for an ex to miss you after the breakup. Maybe something just reminded them of you and they start to miss you. So, they just decided to send you a text.

2. He just wants to know how you are doing 

It could just be a simple check on you. Your thought might just have crossed his mind. And he just thought of asking how you are and nothing more.

3. He is feeling guilty 

Maybe he did something wrong to you. And now he just thought of it and he is beginning to feel bad about it. And just send it to see if you are still feeling offended or not.

4. He is trying to get back into your life 

Your ex might be asking how you are as a way of starting a conversation to get back into your life. It may be for several reasons which may even include him hurting you. This Is why if you are not interested, you have to set things straight. 

5. He has something to say to you

Maybe he needs to tell you something. It is good to reply to him if you two are still on good terms, or you felt like talking to him too.

6. He is lonely 

Loneliness can make us start to long for old flames. Maybe he has not been able to find anyone, now he is thinking of you and sending you that text.

7. He is bored 

He could just be playing around and just want to use “how are you” to start a conversation with you. That is why it is advised that even if you still have feelings for him, you shouldn’t rush things, till you are sure of his true intentions.

8. He wants something 

Maybe he wants sex or wants or an assistance from you. He can’t just jump into his request; he has to start with a conversation starter. So he is using “how are you.” to start the conversation.

9. Stalks you on social-media

They will not see your picture and swipe without liking it. They even go as far as liking your old picture posts

How to know if your ex still cares about you 

1. Bring up the memories you shared 

If they are always talking about all the sweet moments you had,  it’s because they miss you, and still care about you. They can’t get thoughts of you out of their heads.

2. They tell you they miss you and care about 

This is one very clear sign. If he is always saying how much he misses you, then he truly does care. They might say it as a joke, but they are always saying it then they still care.

3. Jealous  

When they see you with other people, they start to act up. Even when they can’t say it out, you should be able to tell when your ex is acting jealous. If you have caught them acting jealous, when you talk or are with other guys/girls, then they still care about you.

4. Make excuses to call you 

When they miss you, they won’t want to make it look like they can’t do without you. So, they are going to make up excuses to call you. Like “Hi I forgot my pen at your place.” They can get another pen. But they just called to hear from you.

5. Repeatedly block and unblock you

Have you noticed your ex has been doing this? It’s because they still care so much about you. They want to forget about you but they can’t.

6. You see them everywhere you go 

They know places you normally hang out; they are going to go there just to see you and make it look like a coincidence. Well, they still have feelings for you.

7. Always there when you need them 

Are they always available for you, always there when you need them? Then, they still care so much about you.

8. Still friends with your friends 

They want to keep being friends with your friends so they can have someone to talk about you with. If they want to ask about you, they would ask your friends.

10 ways to get my ex to love me again

1. Get some space

Before you think of winning your ex’s love again, you have to get some space for yourself, to re-evaluate everything. Do you want them back or are you just lonely? What caused the breakup and what can you do about it? When alone, you can think well enough to answer these questions.

2. Develop yourself

One way you can make your ex start to fall in love with you again is to develop yourself. Learn something, work on your career, your attitude, your looks, visit the gym, and eat healthily.

When your ex sees that you’re getting better, they will start to admire you again.

3. Go out and have fun

Going out and having fun, can light up your ex’s feelings for you again. If you are indoors and bitter, they might not miss you. But when you start to make new friends and do the things you love, they start to miss you. It works like magic.

4. Don’t act desperate 

I know you want them back, but becoming desperate about it, would only push them away. The best thing to do is act like you want them but don’t make it too obvious. Drawback a little and make them look for you. 

5. Make them jealous 

Jealousy can spark-up feelings in people. If you can make them jealous enough, they can start catching feelings for you again. Try posting pictures of you going out, and having fun with another person. That might make them start getting jealous.

6. Make contact 

You have to call them but not all the time. Send them a text. It will spark the conversation between you two, and when you get comfortable with each other, they can fall in love again.

7. Act like you have moved on 

If you still have feelings for him, acting like you have moved on, would make them start to long for you again. 

8. Don’t do what they hate

You know what they don’t like about you. It might be the reason for the break-up. So, if you are talking with them again, try to avoid doing those things. When they see that you are changing, they might start falling for you again.

7. Be mysterious 

Like them, they see you as a challenge. If you are easy to read they would lose interest very fast. Let them try to do some findings that would make them start to fall for you.

8. Remind them of the good times you had 

Striking the right memory bank can make them fall in love with you again. Remind them of all the sweet things you did together, that might do the magic.

Is it okay for you to ask your ex how you are after a long time of no contact?

Yes, it is. The fact you broke up with someone, does not mean that you are enemies. Moreover, no contact rule is there to be broken. So, if your ex decides to ask how you are, there is nothing wrong with that. Except they have bad intentions for contacting you.

3 Ways to make a good impression on an ex

1. Don’t play the defensive game 

If you do this, you would appear like the person who is still holding on to the break-up, who has refused to move on. When he asks something like, ‘how you are?’, and you are quick to say, ‘Yes, I am done with you, I have moved on, I don’t want you’. That tells your ex that you are still hurt, and might not have moved on.

2. Be yourself 

Don’t act like you are trying to impress them. If you are doing anything, do it for you, and not for them.

3. Work on yourself

Work on getting better in anything you do. Build your confidence and the way you see yourself generally. They would know you have grown for the better when they see you. If you are confident it will show in your looks, and the way you speak.

How to know if your ex is still single

1. You have not seen them with anyone else 

If your ex is not dating anyone, it’s an obvious sign that they are still single

2. They still call and text you

If they had someone that they are dating, the fact that they are still contacting you would cause issues for them. So if they are still contacting you then they are single 

3. They say they want you back

Your ex is going to tell you in no time if they are still single. Even if they don’t say it, they are going to show signs.

How often does one get back with an ex?

Experts say 40-50% of people go back to their ex. Though most times, it ends up badly. But it is common to see ex getting back together. 

To wrap things up, knowing what to say to your ex, or how to respond to them, when they ask how you are doing, can be a bit challenging. But, I hope this article has helped you with how to respond to your ex. If it did, I am glad I could help.

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