After a breakup, you might decide to cut communication with your partner, for a particular period. This period is supposed to help both parties think about the issue(s) and realise if it’s worth fixing things or just moving on.
So you have been in no contact for a while now, how would you know if it’s working?
Is your ex finding ways to initiate a conversation with you? Have you found more interesting things to do? Is your ex trying to seek your forgiveness? These are signs the no contact rule is working. No contact rule is a healthy way to help you heal and discover yourself after a breakup. It also gives your ex enough time to reflect on your relationship.
Keep reading this article, to find out how to know the idea of cutting communication, is working for you.
15 Obvious signs the no contact rule is working
1. Ex’s friend or family contacts you
If they have called you, trying to ask you about how you are, it means your ex has been talking good about you and probably wants you to sort things out.
2. Liking all your social media pictures
You guys have gone radio silent on each other for a while now, then suddenly, he is liking all your recent posts, or might even make some comments with emojis under them. Those are signs the no contact rule is working. They are missing you.
3. Asking friends about you
Your friends are telling you he is always asking about you. Since he wants to break the no contact rule yet, even if is tempted to, instead he uses friends to get information about your life.
4. More independent
Before the breakup, you wonder how you could live or do many things without them. Now you have noticed you can do a lot on your own. Those are some of the signs the no contact rule is working.
5. You stop holding grudges
Giving each other space can help you realise a lot of things. If you stop holding grudges, it means the space has given you time, to find a place in your heart to forgive. It has given room for positive thinking and growth.
6. Your ex starts to sense your angry messages
Your ex might have been trying to reach you but you don’t want to contact them. To know it’s working, you will notice they begin to get frustrated and send you the messages in anger.
7. Discover yourself
Sometimes, being in a clingy relationship equates the suffering of all other areas of your life. This period helps you find other things to do other than just be in a relationship. If you are more focused on your career and goals, it means that no contact is working.
8. Feel more confident
You discover you now feel a kind of new confidence inside of you. The effect of the breakup might have affected your self-esteem, if you are feeling more confident, then giving them space is working
9. You heard your ex has been miserable leaving without you
This is one of the signs the no contact rule is working on the guilty partner. People will start to tell you that they have become miserable because they feel that you have rejected them.
10. Start to see things differently
You thought the breakup was going to crush you, or maybe you could never get back to them again. Having the time alone will make you see things in a whole different direction. If you have realized something new about the breakup, then cutting contact is working.
11. Considering reconnecting with your ex
You feel the urge to text them, you feel what they did is forgivable, you want to talk to them to see how you can sort things out, those are signs the no contact rule is working. Although, this consideration should be taken seriously because sometimes your ex wants back in just to hurt you
12. Seeks your forgiveness
Your ex is all over you seeking forgiveness. They have accepted it was their fault, and they are ready to fight to win you back.
13. Always bumping into each other every now and then
If you are always meeting your ex anywhere you go, it might not be a coincidence. It might just be them trying to show up, where they know you would be. Just to see if it can get you two to reconnect.
14. Looking for ways to initiate contacts
Your ex will contact you first but they won’t do it directly. They will try to make up excuses just to reach you because they are missing you.
15. Becomes more responsive
And when you try to text them now, they are very fast to respond and try to keep the conversation on.
How long does it take for the no contact rule to work
Though everybody is different, your ex will feel an initial relief, and you will be going through a stage of denial, within the first few days. It would be like they made the right decision for them, and it will be like a nightmare for you.
After a few weeks, you will begin to realize a lot of things, you get curious and want to learn about everything.
After about 30 days the no contact rule must have taken full effect and you must have made your decision by now. For some people, it can take up to 60days for it to take effect.
Does the no contact rule work if you are dumped?
When someone hurts you, time alone can help you get over them, and rediscover yourself.
You might think you can’t do without them, but when you cut contact with them, you will find out that you could do a lot on your own, and they didn’t mean as much to you as you thought.
So yes no contact rules will work when you get dumped.
Stages of no contact
Stages of no contact if you were dumped:
i. Denial of reality
At first, it will all look like a dream to you if you were dumped. It will put you through hurt, you might try to reach them again to be sure. And this will put you into a more emotional breakdown.
ii. Acceptance
After that, you get to the stage when you accept it’s either over or you have to go back to them to get things right.
iii. Recovery
After weeks of no contact, you would accept the reality and also look for ways to move towards your new reality.
Stages of no contact for an ex:
i. Relief
It feels like a burden has left them. like yes, I did the right thing.
ii. Curiosity
Then they might start to miss you or just want to know what is going on in your life. They will either ask friends or try to reach you.
iii. Fear of losing the person/ urge to move on
Then they get to a stage where they have realized they want you back and fear dumping you might mean they will lose you for heavy. An ex can also feel that it’s better to move on from here.
What is the success rate of a no-contact rule
The success rate of no contact it’s about 90%. It will either make the dumped discover themselves, move on, or make them start to miss their ex. It can also do the same to a dumper. They might start to have regrets, miss the person, want to come back, or be happy they broke up.
What No contact does to a man
If you decide to cut contact with a man because it might have hurt you, it will make him start to miss you, and want to take you back. He might get angry and frustrated at some point if he is not able to get you.
No contact can put a man in a very confusing and sad state.
However, if you break it too soon, it will make him feel you can’t do without him. If you break contact with a man, you have to let him do the chasing
How to know if he is thinking about you
1. Likes your social media posts
He is not talking to you, but he is always liking your post. Then he is thinking of you.
2. Your friends tell you
Everyone is telling you he is always talking about you.
3. He looks for indirect ways to contact you
Often, he sends you messages like it was a mistake. He looks for excuses just to get in touch with you because he can’t get you off his mind.
How to make him chase you after no contact
To make him chase you after no contact, you have to make him feel like getting you back is impossible; Play hard to get.
You can also play hot and cold to keep the chase on.
Give him a little dose of what he is missing, then cut it off. He would want to come to get the complete dose of you.
Be happy, have fun, and invest in yourself. He will chase you.
Does it destroy or build your relationship?
It can’t build and also destroy a relationship. The time without talking to your ex will make you realize a lot of things. You might get over the hurt, or feel the urge to want to go back to them.
If you are using no contact, as a pause to think things through, you might realise that the relationship is either good for you or not or even how you want to take it slow. So its effect goes both ways.
Conclusion;
If you are currently on a no contact rule with your partner, I hope reading this article has helped you spot the signs the no contact rule is working.
Nonetheless, Don’t make contact, till you are sure it worked
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