Loners have a mysterious aura about them, which causes people to desire to know the signs of a loner and why they are loners. The traits of a loner sometimes worry those around them. It also makes their neighbours cautious before interacting with them.
One of the signs of a loner is his ability to remain strong in solitude. Loners flourish when they are alone and would do anything to ensure that they remain that way.
Keep reading this post to understand the clear signs of being a loner. And how being a loner differs from being an introvert.
Who is a loner?
This term is used to describe people who gain peace from being by themselves. They purposely or unintentionally avoid other people’s company.
They may avoid social groups for different reasons. For some, it could be because they are introverts, shy types or they do it by choice.
These people are very rare. They are people who spend a lot of time thinking. It is very uncommon for them to have close friends but if they choose you, then you must be special to them.
One of their special abilities is to study life around them. They are quick to read people even before speaking to them.
The fact that they think a lot makes them very proficient at problem-solving. And they prefer doing things themselves rather than calling others for help.
Lastly, a loner is someone who enjoys silence. Usually, they are communicative, but when they need to be alone, they disconnect.
Types of loners
There are different kinds of reclusive people. Some are mild and many avoid human interaction. This type is called a chronic loner.
These are the kind of individuals that just like to be where they have no human contact. Despite the fact that they sometimes feel like they need friends, they cut everyone off.
Simply put, they want to connect, but can’t stay long enough to connect with anyone at that level. Other types of soloists will be explained as we continue.
The intentional positive loner
This group of recluses chose to be loners. These people are friendly. But the thing is they have a set way of thinking and doing things.
So if they are in your company and they find out that you are not someone that they can be friends with, they would cut you off.
They are known to have special ways of thinking. This is while they barely have any friends. Before they choose you, you have to meet all their criteria. This is while they are very independent and self-centered too.
The intentional negative loner
This set of people is not socially inclined. For them, living on their own is the right way to live. Even at work, you will notice that they do not get along with anyone.
The unintentional loner
They are the type that wants to associate but don’t know how to. They might even make a few friends. But because they have attributes that do not allow them to fit in, they leave.
It is either because they can’t take jokes said by others or they have these lowly ways of looking at themselves. It might even be because they fear being rejected. As a result, they recoil or are unable to fit in with others.
This group of people just needs time to recharge. They can be jovial at times but it will get to the point when they need that quiet and private space.
These people are more susceptible to emotional swings. And if they are your friends, you would be wondering why they are acting hot and cold.
Signs of a loner
One of the ways you know you are someone that prefers your own company is if you feel the need to be by yourself often. For example, you are hanging out with friends drinking, and having fun. Then suddenly you feel like, hey, I have to get home. This shows you prefer your space.
As loners, there is always that need to recharge because socializing drains you. Another thing you will notice about yourself is that you spend most of your time on your phone or with your pets.
You wish everything could be done over the phone. You prefer meeting people over the phone and when it comes to seeing them in real life, you seem uninterested. Even when you want to venture out, you are afraid that you might act awkwardly.
To cancel a meeting makes some people feel disappointed. But for you, that’s a thing of joy. You prefer doing things like heading to the movies on your own.
In addition, you hate attention. Loners hate anything that makes them noticeable. This is why they like to stay quiet and prefer things that are not flashy. You will just prefer being in the shadows.
One thing that comes with being alone is that you spend so much time in your head. It is likely that you are an overthinker who sets questions and answers them in your head.
Thinking a lot will make you see things that others might not pay attention to. This is what makes them highly observant of their environment. It is extremely difficult for you to be manipulated. It is easier for you to spot fake people because you are very observant.
And when they find a true friend, they are loyal to the core. Some loners might become obsessed with that one person, but they are not extreme.
Additionally, they feel what others feel as if you were in their shoes. You want to do everything in your power to give that special friend or family happiness.
Even if you like one person, when there is a split, it is easier for you to adjust. They understand that they are their only true friend.
What is a loner’s personality?
Individuals like these prefer to remain in their heads than communicate with others. Even when they find themselves in the company of others, you can easily spot that they are shutting themselves out.
As opposed to most people, they seek out friends and company who don’t mind sitting alone or hanging out alone. Once they meet someone who matches their spirit, they can become close and loyal to that person.
But at times, they still feel the need to just breeze in and out.
Is being a loner healthy?
Preferring to be on your own is something that can be very helpful for your well-being. But it can also be detrimental to it. I will explain further.
The way being alone affects you depends on the kind of loner you are. If you’re someone who enjoys human company but can’t find one because you don’t know how to associate. You might begin to feel lonely.
That being said, staying on your own for a very long time can also lead to overthinking and depression. When you spend too much time in your head, it might be impossible to get out of it.
However, there are people who prefer to be alone. When they do things like reading, watching movies, and playing with pets, they are mostly happy.
As a loner who stays on your own, the benefit that comes with it is having the time to be more creative. You think a lot and this gives you time to think of new ways to do things.
This depends on what you do with your alone time. For some, it could give them time to do negative things. Things like watching pornography and masturbation or conceiving evil thoughts toward others.
Difference between an introvert and a loner
Although these two are similar and are often used interchangeably, they are not the same. Introverts are people who prefer solitude.
They prefer doing all the talking in their heads to doing it with someone. But they can decide to be friends with a trusted group if they find any. But loners avoid any form of human interaction.
The thing is, while introverts might prefer to be indoors, loners might want the opposite. They might go for a walk, or go on a trip on their own. Reclusive people prefer to do things on their own.
For instance, if you asked a loner to join you for a walk, they would tell you they prefer to walk alone. But an introvert would tell you they prefer to do other things indoors instead.
Introverts are mostly shy and quiet people. But loners are not necessarily shy or quiet. They just choose to be like that around people.
Most people who like to be alone are introverts but not all introverts like to be on their own. They just prefer a smaller circle.
This is why when it feels like the human interaction is getting too much, they would likely back out. Loners don’t have friends but introverts do.
Loners are okay with being on their own. But at some point, most introverts will crave talking to someone.
Similarities between an introvert and a loner
These two terms are similar, as we mentioned. Among the things that make them almost the same is that they are both mostly quiet. Although they can be outspoken when they want, most of the time. you can barely catch them talking.
They don’t like to be seen. For introverts, it might be a shyness issue. But loners do whatever they can to avoid being noticed.
Both categories prefer solitude. Loners and introverts can remain indoors for a very long time. When it comes to a social gathering, these two are likely to always be missing.
They are overthinkers. The fact that they spend most of their time alone, for whatever reason it might be, makes them think a lot.
And they are both independent. They are not likely to call anyone for help. They always feel the need to sort things out for themselves.
Should I live without friends?
Well, you can do without friends. Some people live on their own without any friends and they are happy. So the answer to your question is neither yes nor no. Well, it depends.
Even if it is said that friends make our lives better, they can also ruin a person too. We have seen cases where they betray each other and even kill each other. So if you feel like you don’t want friends around and you can be happy on your own, you should cut them off.
But no lies, having real friends in your life makes it easier, but this is very difficult to come by. If you constantly feel the need for a human companion, you can look for close friends.
You have to understand that friendship is not something you should force. If they don’t feel appropriate for you, you can live without them. There are other things you can do to make yourself happy.
So if staying without friendship gives you peace, why not?
Why do loners love being alone?
They tend to prefer solitude because that is what gives them peace. People who are extroverted find that association makes them feel alive. But for loners, being alone is the way they feel alive.
They enjoy being in their heads and when they are with someone, they won’t be able to think. Loners prefer to do so many activities on their own. So private space helps them achieve that.
The thing about these people is that they are more productive when they do things by themselves. If they stay around people for too long it feels like they are being drained. This is why they seek to avoid socialization as much as they can.
Can one be born a loner?
Yes. If you are born an introvert, you may find yourself with the need to be alone from birth. Although some people can grow into becoming one.
For instance, if you have a traumatic experience with humans, you may likely seek the need for your own space.
Schizoid personality disorder can also cause one to be seen as a loner, and this is according to research. Furthermore, genetics play a role in people who are unable to associate.
It could be something you got from either of your parents.
How do I know I was born a loner?
You may be born a loner if you experience any of the following signs.
Being in a crowd feels suffocating to you. A family gathering that seems to be a big deal for everyone else makes you want to stay in your room.
You enjoy doing tasks on your own. Working in a group makes the job more difficult. Even while growing up as a child, you will notice that you barely have any friends.
Staying alone gives you peace. You enjoy building imagination in your head. You also enjoy doing things that help you connect with your inner self.
Benefits of being a loner
As someone who seeks and enjoys his space, you will notice you are more productive than others. That’s if you put that time to effective use.
You have all the time to think. This makes you able to concentrate and also adept at solving your own problems.
Avoiding human interaction also saves you from all the manipulative people out there. You don’t have to worry about anybody playing with or hurting you. Even if they do, it’s easier for you to move on.
You focus more on yourself. People who have a lot of friends have to think of themselves and their friends.
Sometimes they even have to put their friends first. For you, it is all about you, which gives you more chances to accomplish more.
- Isaac Newton
If you are involved in the science field, you must be familiar with this name and its discoveries. People who know him talk about how he barely maintains any friends or romantic relationships.
- Elon Musk
One of the richest men today is famous for his Tesla electric vehicles, and he has an introverted personality. Due to the company, he learned to deal with crowds, but he naturally spends most of his time alone.
- Bill Gates
Also one of the richest men today. He is a well-known business entrepreneur and Microsoft co-founder. According to him, he said he spent most of his time alone which gave him time to be more productive.
- Emma Watson
People wonder how she stays away from crowds. The Hollywood actress explained that it is just her nature to avoid crowds. There was a time when she thought there was something wrong with her. However, she had to accept it.
- Albert Einstein
This is another famous scientist. After spending a lot of time with himself, he said he became creative and got all his ideas.
Which professions do loners find themselves in?
It is common for reclusive people to pursue a profession that does not involve doing a lot with others. This is why they always put their creative side forward. They want to find something they can do on the phone or do by themselves like owning their companies
You will find loners in roles like:
Content manager, Content writer, Editor, and Business owner. They are love becoming librarians, research scientists, social media managers, and landscape designers.
These roles involve creativity and don’t require a lot of interpersonal interaction.
Loners prefer to spend their time alone. One of the positive things about loners is that they don’t isolate themselves from others. Once they sense that your energy matches theirs, they will allow you into their lives.
Most loners have creative minds. They mostly find themselves in the creative sector. By spending time alone, they become more logical thinkers and can produce spectacular works.
With this article, you should be able to understand who a loner is and what drives them.