Lately, your husband behaves in some certain weird way towards you and now you are wondering if these are signs your husband resents you.
The saying “there is a thin line between love and hate,” clearly explains how your once-lovely husband can suddenly turn into someone that doesn’t care about you anymore. Suddenly, It’s like he can do anything to hurt you. Is that a sign, that your husband resents you?
A man who resents you will constantly fight with you and always make hurtful comments. It will look like he finds joy in your pain, will constantly scold you and will be very aggressive towards you.
Resentment grows from the cumulation of unresolved conflicts in a marriage. Resentment is when one partner expresses their hurt or disappointment, through unhealthy means, rather than talking about it.
Below are some ways to know your husband resents you.
18 signs your husband resents you
1. He never has the time for you
When he is at home, he always seems like he does not have time for you. He prefers to be with the kids, or just be on his phone than to discuss with you.
He always seems to be busy with something, when he is home. That’s a sign of resentment.
2. He blames you for the problem in the marriage
When he starts to push all the blame on you, then it’s a sign he resents you. If you tried talking to him about an issue and the next thing he says is, “it’s all your fault if you had done this or done that, things won’t be the way they are.” He won’t be willing to fix things because he holds grudges against you.
3. Makes disrespectful and hurtful comments to your face
He says careless things to you without even looking apologetic. He can say it as a joke, but he meant it. He can also go as far, as making you feel so stupid at home and in public.
4. You no longer have a sex life
One of the most common signs your husband resents you is when he does not have an interest in physical intimacy with you. Even when he does want to have sex with you he does it with so much aggression to cause you pain. Or he does not even bother to come close to you in the bedroom. He might be doing this because he feels you have done something and this makes him dislike you so much now.
5. When you try to talk to them it turns sour
Every time you try to talk to him, maybe just in a casual conversation, he is going to reply so rudely that your conversation always ends in dispute. He does not even want you to talk to him. That is why he replies in ways that will turn the conversation sour.
6. They make a statement about hitting you
He might say it as a joke but it might be just how he feels. If he keeps saying words like “I feel like hitting you right now” then he is trying to tell you how angry he is.
7. He put no effort into the marriage
When it seems things are not working out well, he won’t even want to go for counselling. He does not even care if the marriage crashes.
8. They never notice the nice things you do
When your partner is supposed to appreciate everything you do for them. But it seems that your husband does not even see all your thoughtful gestures. He never sees anything good you do but he is quick to notice when you do something bad, then he may resent you.
9. He seems to enjoy it when bad things happen to you
The negative feeling that he is harbouring start to make him have evil thoughts towards you. He will start acting like he finds joy in seeing you in pain. When bad things happen to you it makes him happy.
If your husband is acting like this then he has unspoken anger towards you.
10. His behaviour does not match his words
When you try talking to him, he tells you all is well but you still notice he is acting like he is angry. That is a sign of resentment. He would not want to communicate how he feels but from the way he acts you should be able to tell what he feels inside.
11. He withdraws his affections
If he used to be the type that helps you carry your handbag in public, hug you, and cuddle while you are at home, but suddenly he does not even want to come close to you. Then it is obvious he is angry with you.
12. They get usually quiet
Silence speaks volumes. When you are quiet, sometimes you can communicate more than when you talk. It’s normal for your husband to be quiet, at least everyone needs some quiet time.
But if he has been doing it for a long period now, then it’s obvious something is wrong. If your husband resents you he is going to be always quiet around you, and might even snub you at times.
13. They always look angry
If your husband resents you, he is going to always look upset around you. You might see him so joyful around others but immediately he sees you his mood switches.
14. Passive-aggressive behaviour
If you have noticed that your husband has suddenly become vengeful, then that’s a sign that he resents you. When you do something to him, instead of him telling you what you did was wrong, he might start looking for ways to do it back to you.
Is your husband talking like he does not even see a future between you two? He does not even want to fight or try to fix things? It is obvious he has gradually lost hope in the marriage.
16. They no longer make thoughtful gestures
Have you noticed that your husband does not help you with the dishes anymore? He no longer makes all the surprise meals he usually does, he does not get you gifts or help you carry your heavy bag. This is another sign your husband resents you.
17. They stop asking you to do chores
As a couple, your husband might ask you to do some chores in the house like “baby can you help me clean the room?” but when he has hidden anger he would start doing all of it himself.
18. They do things to try to provoke you
If your husband resents you, he is going to be looking for ways to let his anger out. So he might do anything he knows you don’t like so when you try to talk to him about it it’s going to lead to a serious banter between you two.
What it means when your husband has resentment towards
When your husband has resentment towards you, it means that he has piled up all the unresolved offences and hurt you did to him. It starts slowly and then develops into something very bitter.
The hidden anger he feels will be an emotional wall in his heart, and he will begin to see you differently.
He is going to expect that you notice it and apologize for what you did. if you don’t, it is going to gradually develop into hatred. That is when your marriage will become a toxic one.
10 reasons your husband resents you
1. Involving other people in your marriage
No one likes when their partner keeps involving other people in their marriage. When they do something or tell you something, then they hear it from someone outside. They are going to feel like you don’t respect them, are too loud and don’t have privacy; this might lead to resentment.
2. Not appreciating the things they do
Men like it when you appreciate the little things they do. Because sometimes, it could be little to you but that was all they got.
For instance, he supported you financially and you did not even act like it was enough or said thank you, it’s going to hurt him. And if you keep doing it, he is going to get angry and would stop doing anything for you.
3. Making important decisions without them
As couples, you are supposed to do things together if there is an important decision to make. You have to discuss it with each other so if you are the type of woman that just decides without involving your husband, it’s going to make him resent you soon.
4. Expecting immediate forgiveness after you apologize
If you are the type that always expects things to go back to normal immediately you apologize, it can get men angry. For instance, if you did something and you say you are sorry.
If you begin to act like your apology will mend the hurt you caused him, it’s going to make him feel like you weren’t even sorry in the first place. This is going to make it hard for him to forgive you.
5. Not apologizing on time
When you offend your man, he expects you to apologize without holding back. In fact, everyone wants a fast, sincere apology.
Your husband doesn’t want a situation where he always has to tell you, you have done him wrong before you would apologize. If he is the one that always has to demand an apology from you, he is going to feel you never felt what you did was wrong and that will make him angry.
6. Always pushing blames
If you are the type of woman that never accepts your wrongs, instead you push it on your husband, it’s going to make him mad. If you keep doing it, it can lead to resentment.
7. Unrealistic expectations
If your husband is that type that expects you to do things the way he wants it in his head, it’s going to make him build up a feeling of resentment. So in this case, he might be the one that has to adjust. Because there is no way you can be able to do everything he wishes in his head.
8. Not being heard
Another thing that can make your husband have resentment towards you, it’s when you don’t always seem to listen to him. Maybe when he says don’t do this and you keep doing it, it’s going to make him feel you don’t respect him.
9. Taking him for granted
If you are the type of woman that never says please or thank you, you get mad at your husband for not doing things you did not ask him to do. Blame them for things you ought to do, but forget, you treat him without value, then is going to start developing a hatred for you.
10. When you want to be always right
Well, this is one thing everyone hates. Someone who wants things to always go their way. If you are doing this to your husband; wanting every decision to always favour you, it’s going to make him develop resentment towards you.
What resentment looks like in a marriage
In marriage, resentment begins in the form of little conflicts that gradually develop into major rifts, over time. When one partner has resentment toward the other, they are going to start acting mean or just suddenly go quiet.
They are angry but won’t tell why they are angry. When you ask, it’s going to lead to constant conflict in that marriage. If not addressed on time, it can turn the marriage into a toxic one.
What to do to make him stop resenting me
To make him stop resenting you, you have to try to dig deep and see what you most have done that’s making him act that way. If you can pinpoint it, it will be easier for him to forgive you. Because when you are apologizing and saying what you did wrong, your partner will be able to know that you were sincerely sorry.
If you cannot pinpoint what wrong you did to him, you can go to him and talk to him calmly. You have to make him see the pain in your face. Ask him if you must have done something to hurt him or made him angry. He may not answer instantly, but you have to keep trying. His forgiving you, is not something that will happen in a day. It’s going to require consistent efforts from you, to get your partner to forgive you.
10 ways to flirt with my husband
1. Sexy picture
Just take a sexy picture of yourself and send it to your husband, maybe when he is out of the house or while he is sitting next to you. A sexy picture does not have to be you naked, you can dress hot, and send him with a caption like “would you like me for dinner tonight?”
2. Rub your legs under the table
You can be eating together with family or friends. You would just stylishly start to use your leg to rub him under the dining table.
3. Flirty text
You can send a flirty text while at work or with yourself. For instance, he has been gone for a while. You can send him a text like “I am counting down the minutes until I get to kiss your lips again.” Text like this will make him smile and crave for you.
4. Touch him
You might just be seeing a movie together at the cinema. You can just begin to use your hands to start to rub his thighs. Don’t go too far, it might become annoying, especially if it’s in public. You can also give him a peck on the lips, on his way to work or cuddle him.
5. Compliment him
You have to be generous with your compliments. Compliment him almost every time, especially in public you can say it out, or just whisper it in his ears. This helps boost his ego.
Tell him how special he is and how lucky you are to have him. Men love to hear these words.
6. Wear his favourite outfit
Men love it when they see you in their outfits. Wear it and dance around the house with it. It’s going to give him so much joy.
7. Kiss him
Yes, a kiss. Kiss him at the right moment. He is going to love it. You can put a portion of food in your mouth and ask him to use his mouth to take it from yours. That’s naughty and flirty. He is going to love it.
8. Take him out on a date
Take your man on a surprise date. He is going to love it.
9. Sing him a love song
And you are wondering but I have a very bad voice LOL! But that’s what makes it even more interesting. Sing to him his favourite love song, or just play it, sing and dance along while he is watching.
10. Be playful
Most men like it when their women can lighten up their moods. So to flirt with your man, you have to be playful. Maybe when you bump into each other, you can pinch him, or when you are home sitting together, you can just start to tickle him.
Is it normal to resent your wife?
I can’t say it’s normal, but what I can say is that it’s very common for partners to annoy each other, in marriage. You two have lived for a while now. No one is perfect, not even you that is harbouring resentment in your heart.
People are going to do things to get you angry. Like hell, even siblings from the same home, get mad at each other, talk less of you from another.
Why let it build up to resentment though? So no, it’s not normal. It’s a choice each of us has to make.
10 signs he is cheating on you
1. He stops desiring sexually
If he no longer wants to have sex with you, when you ask him for sex, he tells you he is tired, even when he has been home all day.
2. He has news friends that you have never met
He now has to see a lot of friends that are at work, or somewhere that you don’t even know their name or have never seen before. That’s a sign that he might be cheating
3. He is texting and smiling on his phone
You are with your man and he is texting and smiling. When you sneak through the door, you see him texting and smiling on his phone. Has been doing things often and when you come he immediately drops the phone and switches moods? This might mean he is having an affair.
4. He never let you touch his phone
If he never lets you touch his phone that is a major red flag.
5. He is now working late very often
He now works so late. He calls you babe I won’t be coming home early. I have to do something for my boss. He is always rushing, always has an impromptu appointment to attend, that’s the attitude of a cheating man.
6. Mood swings
He is always having mood swings that you have to deal with. He is angry today, sad the next and he is never ready to talk about it. You might try to talk to him, but he shows no interest in wanting to talk. He may just be tired of you, or already seeing another woman.
7. He stopped inviting out
He no longer invites you to go out with his friends. Well, if he is not inviting you he is inviting someone else.
8. His routine has changed
You usually can tell how he spends his whole week. But now, he doesn’t even have a routine. He goes out early today, comes back late the next, leaves very early another day and you can’t seem to understand him anymore.
9. He does not take his calls in your presence
Is he always taking his calls in hidden places? Then that’s a sign that he is cheating. When a man leaves your presence to go take a call, it means he wants to say something he does not want you to hear.
10. He starts to ask more of you
He now says words like he is trying to compare you. If he is using the words like “can’t you be sexier”? “Can’t you grow more hair”? “Why don’t you learn how to dance?” These are signs he is seeing another woman who has those attributes.
Is my marriage over?
Marriage is teamwork. You and your partner must work hand in hand, for things to work out. If you have issues and the other is not willing to put effort into sorting them out, it’s a sign that your marriage might be over. It’s normal for couples to have challenges. But as long as both parties are ready to put things back together, they will keep going. But if one or both parties do not even see the need to put effort into the marriage anymore, then it is over.
8 Signs your marriage is over
If your partner becomes aggressive to the extent of abusing you emotionally, verbally, or physically, then it’s time to quit that marriage.
2. Lack of common goals
You don’t see life the same, you have entirely different goals. Such a marriage will never work. Because when one partner wants this, the other would want the opposite.
3. You are already fantasizing about someone else
The fact you are already seeing yourself dating or getting married to someone else means that your marriage is over.
4. You can’t forgive them
Has your partner done something to you and you know it’s not possible for you to forgive them? Then you should quit that marriage. Before it will develop into resentment and then hate.
5. No trust
No marriage can stand without trust. If you feel you can no longer trust your partner, then your marriage is over.
6. Home no longer feels like home
Do you prefer to be in other places than to be home? When you are at work you stay late on purpose, because you don’t want to go home. That’s a sign that your marriage no longer gives you peace.
7. No physical intimacy
Your partner is now like your sibling. Even if you live in the same house, you can’t remember the last time you kissed or even hugged them. That’s the sign of a crashing marriage.
How to tell your wife is checking out
1. Her attitude is no longer respectful
She is going to tell you words without caution. If she is now making brutal and sarcastic remarks, it’s because she is tired of everything. She does not even care enough to filter her words.
2. Spend time with others
She prefers to spend time with other people or on her phone
She is always at the family house or with her close friends, and never shows any interest in hanging out, or having a discussion with you.
3. No longer tolerates you
She is always looking for ways to start an argument. The things you did before that she turned her eyes away from, are now causing major rifts between you too.
4. She is starting to act suspicious
Your wife may already start to see someone else when she is starting to check out. You will know how she always makes secret calls and dresses sexy to leave the house without you.
After reading this article, you might just have to realize that your spouse truly has resentment towards you. Well, that can be really sad. realizing that your once-lovely husband now despises you. But that’s part of being married. The good news is that it can be resolved. But you have to know that his resentment developed over time. So it’s going to take a long effort from you, to get him out of that state.