The fact that we cannot control who we fall in love with can make us end up sometimes with people that we can’t be with. It can be torturing to walk away from the one you love. Not because they hurt you or something, but because you simply can’t be together. This makes you ponder on: We love each other but can’t be together. Does it mean we are not meant for each other? Why can’t I stop loving him if we can’t be together?
You can love each other but can’t be together for various reasons: Differences in religious beliefs, differences in family backgrounds, age differences, marital status, career choice, etc. The tormenting thing about this is that even when you are fully aware of this contrast and hindrance between you too, you can’t stop loving each other. In fact, the more you realize you can’t be together the more your love for each other grows.
There are many other reasons why we can love people and not date them. I will list them below and also help with suggestions on what to do if you fall in such a situation.
15 Reasons Why Lovers Can’t Be Together
1. Religious Differences:
Across the world, it is very uncommon for people with different religious beliefs to get married. Even when we try to overlook our religious differences, these differences might bring conflict in marriages.
The fact that you are going to consider what your folks would think of you when you find someone you love so much but from a different religion, only means you are going to get skeptical about taking things further with them.
Love knows no religion. You can decide to spend the rest of your life with the man you love despite your religious differences. To avoid conflict in this situation, you have to learn to respect each other’s religion and learn to be tolerant. You both can even pray together. Sometimes, this will make your relationship even more romantic and catch the eyes of many.
If people see that you guys blend your religious differences with your relationship so well, they are going to start supporting it.
2. Family issues:
Your family might not support your marriage or relationship because they think your spouse’s family background is not classy enough for them. They might also be against it because they think the person you love is not the right one for you, and also because of some negative characteristics of your partner. You see this negative part too. But because you love him, you don’t mind and you know that you are going to be able to work it out together.
Before you can go into such a marriage, you have to carefully consider what makes your family not support your relationship. If they are right and you think it is something that will cause you a lot of trouble, the best thing is to listen to them.
3. We can’t be together because my partner is married:
Yes, you can fall in love with someone who is already married or in a relationship. They love you too but simply can’t date you because they are already with someone and you are not ready to be the reason he is going to divorce his partner. So you guys can’t be together.
When they are ready to end things with their recent partner, you can be with them. If they are not ready to end things, you should end whatever both of you have.
4. They are cheating:
If your partner is a cheat, it can also stop you from wanting to be with them no matter how much you love them. Even if you decide to stay in such a relationship, you are always going to be having issues and you will only be hurting yourself.
Though people can change, a cheat is a cheat, and cheating is a dealbreaker for a lot of women. If he is cheating, it means he doesn’t love you that much to respect your feelings, so you should end such a relationship.
5. They are violent and abusive:
Either physical or verbal violence, no one deserves to be with an abusive partner. He picks on you and says things that hurt you, then that relationship is a hell house for you. Even if you love him, you won’t be able to be with him.
If you are already married, you should divorce them immediately. Abusive and violent partners are very dangerous for you. He is going to say things that will hurt your mental health and make you start to feel less of yourself. He is going to go physical on you and hit you. These can make you do drastic things to yourself or he can even hit you and something bad might happen.
6. You are not ready for a relationship:
Sometimes, we can find love at the wrong time. Maybe we are not emotionally or even financially prepared. This unreadiness towards a relationship can make you not be with who you wish to be with.
If you are not ready for a relationship, you have to let your crush know the reason and make him understand.
7. He is not ready to be committed:
Just like someone who is not ready for a relationship, some people just want the emotions but not the commitment. They are afraid of being abandoned, hurt, or betrayed. They are also afraid they might do the same to you too. So if your partner is not ready to commit, you guys can’t be together.
If they are ready to change, then you can work things out. But if they are not, you should end things and move on with your life. It will be hard for you. But it’s better to be hurt now than suffer forever because no marriage can work without commitment.
8. He is relocating:
Another reason why people can love each other but can’t be together is when their partner is changing location. It might be because of a job or something else. He might be traveling out of the country or somewhere not too far, but this might affect your relationship.
If they are moving for a job or better opportunities outside the country, you won’t be able to stop them. So you either end the relationship or you guys can talk about how to work things out. Will you be able to have an affair with a man so geographically far from you? If yes, then that’s fine, but if no, you can go with him or work things out to meet him up there.
9. Large age gap:
Age can also be a hindering factor when it comes to relationships. You can fall in love with someone young enough to possibly be your son or daughter, or old enough to be your mother or father.
This kind of relationship might not work due to the pressure from the comments others will make about such relationships. How are you going to handle living in a home and sleeping with someone you are so older or younger than. So even if you look so perfect together, you might be thinking of ending things.
Well, if you don’t mind what people have to say, you can go on with your affair. Age is nothing but a number. People are going to talk anyway. But if you think you are not fine with it, you can call things off.
10. They are not supportive:
A partner is supposed to be there during your ups and downs. They should be your greatest fan and motivation. They should unconditionally support you.
If they don’t support you, it means they don’t care about you. So if they are not willing to start supporting you, you shouldn’t be in such a relationship.
11. Unpleasing career choices:
We can fall in love with people who choose careers that are not pleasing to us. Maybe a fraudster, drug baron, etc. And you are probably not just cool with it.
If they choose a career that you don’t like, and they are not willing to change, it only makes it clear that you both can’t be together.
12. You see life differently:
When you see life differently, it’s going to cause issues. If you try to get into a relationship when you both are always differing on opinions, you will barely agree with anything.
You have to see if you can respect each other’s opinions. But if it’s always causing issues for both of you, and unwilling to find a common ground, it’s an indication that you both can’t be together
13. He is my ex’s friend:
Dating your ex’s friend can make it look like you guys were cheating all the time you were dating their friend. So it might be very difficult to get into a relationship with them. This can also cause a block in the progress of the relationship.
You can try talking to your ex about it. It is not like you are seeking their permission, but you will be trying to clear the air and make him know you are going to start dating his friend. Your new boyfriend should also talk to his friend too. If you guys can sort things out then you are good to go.
14. They are my friend’s ex:
Dating your friend’s ex can cause great issues between you two, so you might be trying to avoid it even when you are in love with them.
Well, understanding is everything. If you guys can talk it out, then you can go on. And if your friend is not ready to talk it out, then you should be ready to sacrifice your friendship before you go on with your relationship.
15. They are manipulative:
If they are manipulative, they are going to be using you. You are going to be their tool and that’s an unhealthy relationship.
Well, you can talk to them about it or simply quit that relationship. Maybe if they decide to change, you can go back to them.
Effects of not being together with someone you love and loves you:
When you can’t be with someone you love, you are going to feel hurt and sad. The fact that you can’t be with them does not stop your heart from beating for them. This is going to stop you from moving on and getting into another relationship. Because the only person you want to be with can’t be yours.
Can one be in love with someone without being together?
Even if you are not together with someone, you can still be in love with them. Even after you decide that you can’t be together, your love for them is going to take a long time to die. We can’t just kill feelings for people we love. It has to take some time before it gradually goes away.
What to do if we love each other but can’t be together?
If you love each other but can’t be together, that might mean you are not meant to be together. If you decide to force things, you are going to regret it. So it is better to let things be and you too move on with your life.
How do I stop being preoccupied with someone I can’t have?
To get over someone you know you can’t have, you have to go out there and have fun and make new friends. Do everything that makes you happy and work on yourself. This will help you get your mind off the issue then you can even find someone else that’s meant for you.
How do you detach from someone you love who can’t be with you
To let go of someone is usually very hard, but you can cut them off, let go of everything that reminds you of him, work on yourself and make new friends, that is how you will start to get them off your mind.
Why do we fall in love deeply with someone we can’t have?
Well, love knows no boundaries. We can’t choose who we love, our heart chooses them for us. So even when people don’t look like they are meant for us, we can find ourselves falling for them, especially when you are friends and you get so used to them. You won’t even know when you fall so deeply for them.
What can one say to someone you love but can’t be with?
If you have someone you can’t be with, you have to let them know you love them so much. But obviously, there are things that make it impossible to be with them. You can say I wish I met you before my current partner or I wish you didn’t live so far etc. These are the kind of things you say to them, to make them understand why you can’t be with them.
Why you can let go of someone you love:
Sometimes when we love someone, we get so used to them that they become part of us. Our days are not complete without them and we can’t even find happiness or sanity without talking to them. When there is a breakup or an issue that makes you separate from them, it’s always difficult to let them go. And because you have built your life around them, it’s going to take a while to get used to the changes. But it is important to let go so we can be in love again and enjoy the bliss of love.
We can’t choose who we love, so for that reason, We can end up loving people that are not meant for us or treat us in ways we don’t like, and that’s hindering us from being with them. If you love someone and you think what’s stopping you does not matter, you can work on fixing it because true love is hard to find these days. But if it’s something that’s going to cause an issue for you, it’s advisable to quit.