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Why Guys Don’t Approach Me – 20 Reasons Why

Why Guys Don’t Approach Me – 20 Reasons Why

I am always looking my best, friendly, and always going out, so why don’t guys approach me? Have you been asking yourself those questions lately? Because no guy seems to be interested in asking you out

Well, one thing you should know is that guys not approaching you, might be because of different reasons. Maybe you are hanging out in the wrong places, they don’t get the chance to catch you alone, you act like you are taken, or the guys you are meeting are not confident enough to talk to you. 

Keep reading this article, to find out common reasons, why guys don’t approach girls, and how to make guys start approaching you.


20 Reasons why guys don’t approach me 

1.  Hanging out in the wrong places

You might think you are always going out but are you going out to places that make you happy? Places where you can be yourself? If you are hanging out in a place you don’t feel comfortable, you would look so unapproachable. Because it will be written all over your face that you don’t fit there, and the type of guys there won’t be interested in saying hi.

2. On your phone more often than not

If you always bury your face on your phone, guys are going to lose interest in talking to you. It will look like you are already seeing someone that you are always texting, or you are always on your phone because you don’t want anyone to bother you.

3. Always go out with other guys

When you hang out with other guys, it might make guys feel that they are your boyfriend, so they won’t bother to approach you. 

4. You don’t make eye contact 

Eye contact is your way of sending a nonverbal: “I want you to talk to me” message to a guy. You don’t have to stare too long when you see him. You can just give him a shy look with a smile, then you can take your eyes off, so as not to appear creepy.

5. Being too easy 

Most times, guys like to be the ones doing the chasing. So, if you are the type that it’s quick to approach guys, it might be the reason why they are not attracted to you. It’s good to have the confidence to make the first move, but it is preferable to create an atmosphere for him than to go directly to approach him.

6. Behave rudely 

If you are the rude type, no guy is going to want to engage in conversation with you. So, if you are still asking yourself; “why don’t guys approach me”, and you know you are rude, I think this time for you to work on being a nicer person.

7. You don’t go out often 

How can you be wondering why guys don’t approach you if you barely go out? Or do you keep going to the same place over and over again and do you expect to meet new people? If you are asking yourself; “ why don’t guys approach me?” maybe putting yourself out there might be the solution for you.

8. Don’t look approachable 

Still, asking Why don’t guys approach me? But you always hang out alone?  Well, it is one thing to hang out alone and another thing is to have the right attitude when you are out there. Your body language is a great determinant for guys to talk to you. If you have a do not disturb my face, no guy would want to disturb you.

9. Not dressing well enough

Maybe you think you are already looking your best, but you might have been doing it the wrong way. Wearing something that best suits you will boost your confidence, and also makes guys attracted to approach you. You can show a little skin if you are comfortable with it, but don’t dress slutty.

10. They are afraid of rejection 

Maybe you are the type that is always talking about the fairy tale kind of guy you want, any guy is hardly going to meet that criterion. So, this might be the reason why they just avoid talking to you, because they feel you might reject them.

11. Assume you are taken 

Not all guys like to start a conversation with a girl that is taken. Things like wearing a lot of rings, going out with other couples, going out with a particular guy you are not dating, guys are going to think you are dating and won’t bother trying to approach you.

12. Everyone knows your business 

Are you the loud type? Maybe one guy asks you out and you reject him. You are telling everyone about it, if guys realize you are that kind of person, they would be reluctant to approach you.

13. Look too busy 

One thing is to go out and another thing is to do the right thing for a guy to approach you. You want guys to talk to you, so you have to indirectly help them. For instance, you are outside, you are acting like you are on an office job or with a project on your laptop. A decent guy would not want to talk to you, because he does not want to disturb you.

14. You are too sensitive 

If you are easily hurt, it’s another thing that can scare guys away. Even a simple joke might hurt you. So guys might be avoiding you because they don’t even know the right thing to say, go do.

15. They have not had the opportunity to catch you alone

It takes a very confident guy to start a conversation with you when you are around other people. Most guys prefer to do it when you are alone. So, if guys are not approaching you, and you are the type that’s always going out with company, maybe it’s time you start going out alone. At least once in a while.

16. Act like you are too good for anyone

When you act like everyone is below your standard, it’s going to scare guys away from you. Who would bother talking to a girl who thinks so highly of herself? Don’t get me wrong. It is good to hold yourself in high regard, but if you do it so arrogantly, it’s going to scare guys away.

17.  Don’t know what men want

You have to learn to do what attracts the kind of men you want. Maybe men have been approaching you but not the kind of men you want. Learning what men want can help you attract the right man.

18. Not conversational 

If you don’t know how to engage in a conversation or keep it going, guys might drawback in talking to you, for fear of embarrassing themselves. Maybe they start a conversation with you, but you don’t even know how to reply, or how to help them keep the conversation alive. They might end up leaving when it becomes awkward so if you are guilty of this, I advise you work on your communication skills.

19. A loner 

Though some men are attracted to loners, most men are not. For instance, everyone is at a party dancing and having fun, and you rather sit and be on your phone. Men will assume that you rather be someone else, and you are not the type that would be easy to have a conversation with.

20. You still hang out in the same place with your ex

You had a relationship that everyone knew about. After breaking up, you are still hanging out in places where your ex hangs out.  Guys would be thinking, you still have feelings for him, and that might be scaring them away.

How can I get a guy to approach me 

1.  Make eye contacts

When you don’t maintain eye contact, it makes it look like you don’t have an interest. So, try to maintain a little eye contact. Don’t stare too much, just a little glance, with a shy smile, would do.

2. Smile 

Smile at the guy you want to approach you. It’s as easy as that. Your smile is like a non-verbal way of telling him  “hey I am interested in you too”

3. Don’t hang out with a large crowd 

When you are always out with the boys or girls, it does not give guys the chance to catch you alone. Not all guys have the confidence to speak to a girl while she has company. So, it will be better to do yourself the favor of hanging out a few times, around the guys you are interested in.

4. Put effort into your appearance 

Dress well, wear attractive clothing, but don’t do it for him, don’t reveal too much skin. Wear something that makes you comfortable and something that will make you stand out in the room.

5.  Body language 

A dull and moody body language scares guys away. You have to always carry the vibrant vibe, and be easy to approach but don’t be easy to get.

Do guys like to be approached? 

Yes,  they do like to be approached. But only by girls that they are interested in. If a man does not find you attractive, it might look like you are throwing yourself at him.

So, as a woman, it’s better to take the time to study, if a guy has an interest in you before you approach them. Don’t rush, give him a hint first. When it looks like he is not getting the hint,  that’s when you make the first move.

Why do guys never get hints?

It’s not really like men don’t get the hints you throw at them. The problem is they are afraid to make the wrong move because some of these hints are puzzling. A girl might be flirting with a guy, it will be difficult for the guy to know if the flirting is for sex or a relationship. So, he would be reluctant to make any move for fear of being embarrassed.

Guys are not mind-readers, and women’s hints can be very ambiguous sometimes. So, for fear of rejection, guys just look away.

How to approach a guy without it being weird 

 1.  Smile

A smile is one way to attract a guy. Don’t smile too creepy, keep it short. that tells him you are interested.

2. Engage in a conversation 

Start a conversation with him. Don’t go directly to pour out your intentions, or your feelings, just look for a topic to talk about, he will take it from there, if he is interested.

3. Don’t overshare

While talking with him don’t talk too much. Don’t overshare, you have to keep a lot of details and be mysterious. That would make him Want to find out things about you, and increase his interest in you.

4. Flirt with him 

Even if you are shy, try to make eye contact with him, lean on him when you are talking with him, listen to him and compliment him. This allows you to flirt with him without looking so obvious.

6. Do not always do the talking 

You can’t start the conversation, don’t make it look like you are the only one talking. Lead him on, and let him do the rest. If he is interested he will take the bold step.

7. Don’t ask directly if he is single

Don’t ask him directly if he is single. There are other sneaky ways you can do that. like asking about his partner, telling him you are single, etc.

Why do guys approach girls?

There are many reasons, guys approach girls. Though her looks are one of the first reasons a guy would approach a girl, that’s because men are mostly moved by what they see. But guys also approach a girl because of the way she carries herself, her smile, her confidence, and her friendliness. This varies from guy to guy. Different guys have different things that attract them to a girl.

How guys approach girls 

Many guys prefer to walk straight to the guy they like and start a conversation. These days, with the rise of technology, some just get their social network handle and send a text. If they are not confident enough to do it face to face or get her number then give her a call.

How do guys act around a crush 

why don't guys approach me - crush

1. Avoids eye contact

They start acting shy; he can barely maintain eye contact with you if he is having a crush on you.

2. He is nervous

When is around you he starts to act like he has speech problems? This is funny but it’s through. Though not for all guys. Some are confident talking while others start to slur sentences when they are around their crush.

3. You will catch him staring 

Even when he might not be able to maintain eye contact, you should catch him staring at you and looking at you like he is lost, most times.

4. He will try to keep the conversation going 

Even if he is the shy type, and doesn’t even have what to say, he would try his best to keep the conversation going, just so he can be around you for a long time.

5. He is jealous when you talk about other guys

Look at his countenance when you talk about other guys, or when you have to answer a call from a guy. He might start to look jealous.

6. Compliments you 

He says nice things to you and compliments your looks and your dress. Even when you think you are not looking your best, he thinks you are looking like an angel.

7. Offers to do your chores 

He wants to help you with the task at work, he would want to help you with classwork, and heavy chores. That’s because he cares so much about you.

8. Laughs at everything you say 

Have you been wondering why this guy always laughs at anything you say? But you know you are not that funny, then why is he always smiling? The answer is simple: it’s because he has a crush on you.

9. Gives you gifts

He sends you thoughtful gifts. He always knows the right thing to give to you, even when you don’t ask. It shows he listens and pays so much attention to you.

10. Leans toward you 

A guy that has a crush on you, would always like to come close to you. Though not in a creepy way, he would like to hold your hands and sit close to you.

How to know a guy is serious about you 

1.  Makes plans with you

He always makes plans with you and keeps to them because he sees you as part of his future. If he is not serious about you, he would not bother making plans and showing up. He would rather do it with someone else.

2. Introduces you to his friends/family 

Have you met his family and friends? Did he introduce you as his partner to them? Then that’s a sign he is serious about you.

3. Apologises when he’s wrong

Trust me, a man would not bother to fix things or let his pride down when he wrongs you. If he doesn’t want you to be part of his life. If he is quick to apologize and wants to resolve any issue in your relationship, it means it holds you dearly.

4. Puts in the effort 

A one-sided relationship shows that your partner is not serious about you. If he puts in all the work to see you, he calls, and texts you without you asking him to, he makes compromises for you, that’s a sign the relationship means a lot to him.

5. Pays attention to you

When he pays attention and listens to you, he is going to remember little details about you. But if your man is the type you always have to remind everything you told him, or he is not there when you want to talk to him, it might mean he is not really into you.

6. Puts out all his old flames

It’s very hard for men to cut contact with all the women in their life. He will try to keep his options open. If he is willing to cut contact with all of them, then he is really serious about you.

7. Won’t cheat on you

Cheating puts him in a position of losing you. So while will a man that wants you in his life cheat on you? If he does that, that would mean he is not afraid of losing you.

8. Asks questions about you

He wants to know everything about you, how your day was. He is always inquisitive because he is interested in you. 

9. Excited you are around

Even when a guy is sad, your presence should be able to lighten his mood. That’s what being in love can do. And that won’t be possible if he does not see you as the one for him.

10. Honest and transparent 

Does he look like he is holding back when you are having a conversation with him? Or is he hiding things or lying to you? A man who is truly serious about you, will not put himself in a position of doubting your trust for him.

Is it okay for a girl to approach a guy?

We have gone past the era where we think it is not right to approach a guy. If you see a guy you like, you can approach him. But you have to be careful, not to do it too desperately, and be sure he is in your class or has an interest in you first before you make the move.

Do guys like girls that make the first move 

Yes, they do. Guys like girls that make the first move but if you are making the first move don’t do everything for him, that would make the guy start taking you for granted. It would be better to lead him on and leave the rest for him.

5 Ways to make a guy fall deeply in love with you

1.  Be nice to him

No man would fall in love with you if you are rude to him. So, if you want a guy to fall for you, smile around him. Be nice to him, and others.

2. Be scarce 

Give him attention but don’t take yourself too available. He will get used to you and lose interest. Men like challenges so you have to make yourself look like one and make him fall for you. Cut the conversation at the most interesting point, and let him start looking for you.

3. Surprise him

Men might look hard on the outside, but they are very soft on the inside. Getting him the right gifts at the right time it’s a very easy way to his heart.

4. Let him know what makes you special

You have to show him that you are different. Dress differently, act differently, show him what makes you different from the other women, and show him what makes you special. He is going to chase you for that.

5.  Show what you have in common 

A man will not fall in love with you if he thinks you guys don’t have common interests, goals, or even think alike. So this is where you have to let him know you have a lot in common.

Don’t force things if you feel you don’t have anything in common with a guy. So first look at him and see if you have things in common, then that should be your strong point in winning him over.

In conclusion, getting a man to approach you is not as easy as it might seem. That’s why I came up with what you might have been doing wrong, and what you should do to make guys approach you.

I hope reading this article helped answer your question: “why don’t guys approach me.” If you feel you need specific advice on your situation, I would prefer you seek the help of professional relationship coaches. Good luck!

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